When I heard that Obama, during a speaking engagement in Greensboro, North Carolina yesterday, went out of his way to ensure the crowd that he wasn’t a demon, as someone in the right wing press had apparently just suggested, I felt compelled to know the backstory… Well, it turns out that it was America’s leading conspiracy theorist, Alex Jones, who had shared the shocking revelation just a few days prior. Jones, on his popular daily program, told his followers that both Obama and Clinton smell of sulphur, proving that they are, in fact, demons. Those who are familiar with Jones, who also believes that no children were really shot at Sandy Hook Elementary and sinister forces are breeding a race of “fish people”, likely won’t be shocked by this. What may shock you, however, is the fact that, in spite of these conspiracy theories peddled by Jones, the Republican candidate for President, Donald Trump, appeared on his show not too long ago. And, not only did he appear on the show, but Trump complimented Jones, saying, “Your reputation is amazing.” I know we probably don’t need any more evidence of the fact that we’re living in truly insane times, but, if you ever have any doubt, watch these two videos.
The first is of our President, Barack Obama, sniffing himself for sulphur. The second, produced by a fellow named Todd Dracula, shows a crying Alex Jones breaking down his evidence that the entities we know as Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are, in reality, demons. [Apparently he’s seen “white papers” that prove they’re monsters that hate children, prosperity, and a number of there things we hold dear as Americans.]
And, this, my friends, is why there’s no way in hell the other intelligent lifeforms in our universe will ever allow us leave the Earth and colonize other planets.
Now, if we could just sniff Trump’s hands…