In a thread on Metafilter about that wonderful, poetic, and head-scratchingly bizarre Tom Waits press conference of a few days ago, someone questioned whether or not Waits really existed. Another commenter responded with something absolutely beautiful. They said that Tom Waits is what Santa Claus turns into when you stop believing in Santa Claus.

It’s an absolutely beautiful idea, don’t you think?

And here, for those of you unwilling to follow the second link, is footage of the press conference.

That radio station in California that’s doing a 4-hour special on my band, the Monkey Power Trio, has started running promos for the big event. If you want to hear one of the radio spots, just click here. I can’t imagine that too many people will tune in for all 4 hours, but who knows. Maybe people are starving for our brand of “we don’t want a record contract” rock-n-roll… If you want to listen, just tune in to KFJC on May 20 starting at 10:00 PM (EST).

OK, so now Hillary Clinton is starting to really piss me off. After Obama’s landslide victory in North Carolina yesterday, and their near tie in Indiana, everyone seems to be in agreement that she cannot win, and yet, in spite of that fact, she won’t quit. Or, at least, she hasn’t quit yet.

I can respect her tenacity. Up until now, it may have even made some sense. If she’d won resoundingly yesterday, maybe, just maybe, it would have demonstrated that, yes, a deeply racist America couldn’t accept the reality a black man as President, but that’s not what happened. There was no evidence of our getting cold feet. Obama had everything thrown at him, and yet he didn’t lose momentum. We had a chance yesterday to bring the Obama juggernaut to an end, and we didn’t take it. If people in Indiana had signaled that he was unelectable, the Democratic super delegates would have started migrating toward her, but that’s not what happened. He almost beat her. And her staying in at this point isn’t going to help anyone but the Republicans.

Word is that her old friend Wesley Clark is trying to talk her into conceding. I hope, for the sake of the Democratic party, and her political future, that she takes his advice. It’s time to bring this long, ugly primary campaign to an end, and start to build party unity around a single candidate… And, if she won’t end it, her backers have to. People need to stop giving her money and enabling her to continue on with this delusion that she has a chance.

So, please, let’s stop sending her money today. Maybe that will be a message that she’ll hear.

You know how the other day I posted that cute lost robot poster? Well, it turns out that it was the work of the kids at the fantastic little pro-writing non-profit 826 Michigan. For those of you who don’t know, the 826 locations around the country are all themed. I’ve written in the past about their place in San Francisco, which is pirate themed. Well, the one on Liberty Street in Ann Arbor, which opens in about a week, is all about robots. Word is, among other things, they’ll be selling robot toupees! (Robot toupees, I think, is the only thing that could possibly outsell severed unicorn heads this holiday season.)

Here’s their announcement about the grand opening.

Saturday, May 17th is a big day in Ann Arbor. There’s the Book Festival, and the Farmers Market, and you just might see a few other interesting things happening downtown. Namely: robots. Intrigued? We would be too.

Many of you know that at 7pm that night, we’re celebrating the grand opening of our storefront, the Liberty Street Robot Supply & Repair, where the average consumer can find everything from robot building kits to actual robots to robot tears to nostalgia chips to replacement larynxes to robot air grapes to positronic brains and more. And we are the ONLY place in the world that carries Better Bot’s Robot Repair and Design by Asimov merchandise.



During the day, however, we want to fill the streets of Ann Arbor with robots. We know what you’re saying: How can we help? 


We need hundreds (if we can find that many) of people walking around, hanging out, and going about their days in homemade robot costumes. Need to grocery shop? Do it in a robot costume. Gonna stop at the bank and then hit the Book Festival? Why not do it in a robot costume? Invite your friends, family, coworkers, children, and neighbors to join you. If you’d like to help out, email Amy@826michigan.org. We want people out all day, so we can work with your schedule!

Am I the only one who sees the potential for someone to get shot going into a bank dressed like a robot? Other than that, I think it’s brilliant. Seriously. I love 826 from top to bottom. I took part in something at their old place, on State Street, a while back and I was incredibly impressed. If you’ve got kids between 6 and 18, and they aren’t participating in the 826 writing workshops, I think they should be taken from you by the State. I know that may sound harsh, but that’s what I think…

Speaking of dressing up and acting weird in public, I thought that we were pretty clever a few years ago when we mashed-up two memes - Christmas and zombies - and took to the streets of Ann Arbor. That seems to be old hat now, though. I’ve just been invited to an Amish zombie pajama party in Ferndale.

…OK, I just looked at the fine print and it looks as though they’re asking people to come as zombies, Amish “OR” in pajamas for this thing in Ferndale. So, it’s not as ambitious as I’d hoped. I was actually thinking about going when I thought that I might see other zombies sporting silk pajamas and throat beards.

Want to be a reporter for MM.com? There’s a big Michigan Progressive Summit taking place this Saturday in Lansing that I can’t attend, and I’d like to have someone there, covering it for the site. Here’s the rundown as it was relayed to me by MoveOn:

…It’ll be huge. The 2008 Michigan Policy Summit will bring together folks in the environmental, civil rights, labor, faith based, LGBT, education, reproductive rights, student, disability, health care reform, human service, and blogging communities.

The summit will develop progressive policies for Michigan in the areas of education, the environment, and health care…

This summit was created last year in response to a big corporate summit that takes place in Michigan each year, where policy goals are developed and powerbrokers are wined and dined. Progressives felt like corporations shouldn’t be the only ones collaborating about Michigan policy, and decided to work together.

In addition to developing policy goals, this summit will create new networks of activists and organizations who can work together to advance the summit’s policy goals over the next year. Plus, trainings will take place for individuals and organizations, to make everyone’s advocacy more effective.

Registration is just $30. Meals are included. And you’ll hear from two guest speakers: author Jim Hightower and radio host Amy Goodman. If you have the time, it’s a great way to invest a Saturday…

And, I just received an email from Carl Levin saying that he’d be there too.

My great grandmother and great grandfather both slept with loaded pistols under their pillows. I remember finding the one under my great grandmother’s pillow when I was a kid, visiting their farm in Kentucky. Somehow, that doesn’t make this product any less weird. I’d like to think that it’s a joke, but sadly I don’t think it is. If it were, I think there would have been a really kick-ass dramatic reenactment.

[Thanks to MM.com media scout Thoreau for turning this up.]

I’ve been spending the past few nights overdosing on season two of “The Wire.” I thought I recognized one of the actors last night, so I looked it up. And it turns out that the guy playing John ‘Johnny Fifty’ Spamanto on the show is a guy that Linette and I met in Baltimore about 13 years ago by the name of Jeffrey Pratt Gordon. It’s a weird, convoluted story, but we’d tracked him down for an interview in “Crimewave” because he was the prop guy on the John Waters’ film “Serial Mom” charged with painting the portrait of Don Knotts. He’s an interesting guy, or at least he was. I remember that he had a theremin. He also owned the estate of famous Baltimore “half man” Johnny Eck. And, I may be wrong about this, but I seem to recall that his apartment, which was over a coffee shop by the water, was once called home by Waters’ muse Edith Massey. I might be making that last part up, but I have a fragment of a memory of Jeffrey showing me photos of Massey that he’d found in the apartment. Oh, and you might have actually seen his apartment. It was featured on the TV show “Homicide.” I think it was Belzer’s apartment… Gordon was also a prop guy on that show… Oh, and it’s never been verified, but, according to Gordon, who bought a “Crimewave” gift subscription for the brilliant actor Andre Braugher, who played detective Frank Pembleton on “Homicide,” there’s an episode of the show where he can be seen carrying a copy of the magazine. Anyway, we haven’t talked with him in years and it’s good to see him in front of the camera on the best television show in American history… Oh, and it also looks like he’s written and produced a movie since we saw him last. It’s called “Gospel Hill,” and it’s got everyone in it from Danny Glover to Julia Stiles… If I ever get the chance, I’ll scan the “Crimewave” interview and post it here.

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I’m just reading through all the comments that were left while I was in Milwaukee. I particularly liked this one by Ol’ East Cross.

Americans and/or humans, continue to prove that they’d rather feed their kids shit and buy them cell-phones than plant a garden.


I watched Bush give a press conference a few days ago where his answer to the oil crisis was, “Should’ve drilled in Alaska, I told you so…” That will begin to make sense to more and more. We’ll suck Alaska dry.


And, when we finally run dry of oil, big deal. The market will react. You’ll see a crop of nuclear and coal plants to power our new miracle, sprawl sustaining, battery wasting, power supply and we’ll drive our electric SUVs to kingdom come. Until the underlying morality of consumption vs. waste is addressed, we’ll find a way to consume and waste.


I just don’t think availability of oil is the core issue. Lots of folks are concerned with the price of gas, but many/most just care about how prices reduce their capacity to otherwise consume. We can and will replace oil, but if we’re not better, the replacement won’t be, either…

For the record, when I die, I’d like for this site to be left to Ol’ E Cross. I’m fond of a lot of you who comment on this site, but I feel like Ol’ E Cross and I are kindred spirits when it comes to the things that really matter - loving Ypsi and despising mankind. Anyway, I’d like for one of you, upon my passing, to hang this site around his neck, pat him on the head, and wish him luck.

[This post was brought to you by the 200 esteemed economists who agree that the McCain/Clinton “Gas Tax Holiday” is a pathetic campaign gimmick.]

I hesitate to post this here because I fear that some of you may feel inclined to poke fun, but my hope is that the good that comes from the resulting discussion will outweigh the bad. In any case, what follows is, to my knowledge, the first citizen-originated video created for the purposes of drumming up developer interest in Ypsilanti’s Water Street property. If you have constructive comments that may help either the persons responsible for this piece, or others that may be working on videos of their own, please leave them.

Just a few thoughts off the top of my travel-weary head… I’d start with a map of the city, showing the parcel and its location relative to the rest of downtown. I think that’s important. I’d also mention the total Michigan Avenue frontage and the number of commuters that pass each day… If I were working on a video showcasing the property, I think that I would focus more on the property itself. I’d go down there with a camera at a time when Michigan Avenue is well traveled, and I’d walk the site with someone in the City Planning Department, or perhaps a sympathetic developer that knows what points would resonate. I do a quick walk-through, and then maybe I’d show a few new developments in the area. I might have Mike Finney talking about the opening of the Spark East incubator. I might have Eric and Karen Maurer talking about the buildings that they’re rehabbing. I might also see about reusing some of the MetroMode footage of the Shadow Art Fair. And, I’d get some footage from the recent Hyatt Palma presentation. If you bundled all of that together, I think you’d have a pretty strong package.