Greg Baise on WCBN tomorrow, and on shiny, white, super-skinny American Apparel mannequins everywhere

    I have a friend named Greg Baise. If you’ve ever been to see a band in the metro Detroit area, chances are you’ve probably seen him. He’s probably the best connected guy I know when it comes to music, having promoted shows for over a decade, and done tons of other stuff in the industry. I don’t see too much of him these days, as I don’t leave the house unless it’s absolutely necessary, but we probably run into each other about once a year, at some obscure show somewhere. I first met Greg 17 years ago, in Atlanta. He was a friend of Linette’s in college, and he came to stay at our apartment over the weekend of a big Table of Elements show featuring the likes of Tony Conrad, Faust and the young men of Sonic Youth, where, by the way, I had the pleasure of urinating next to none other than a cane-wielding Keiji Haino.* Anyway, Baise wrote to me last night, to express his outrage, after having read the post about my aunt in Kenosha, Wisconsin getting ripped off by our new Miss America’s father. (That story, by they way, got picked up by the popular site Jezebel yesterday, resulting in about a thousand more people visiting us here than usual, and one of them even going so far as to “like” MM.com on Facebook, bringing our total number of Facebook fans to 316!) So, during our discussion, Baise mentioned that, tomorrow, he’d be hosting a daytime show on WCBN, and I thought that I’d mention it here, in hopes that some folks might tune in. (He does a regular show on WCBN, but it’s on a weeknight, at like 3:00 AM.) So, without further ado, here’s my conversation with Greg about tomorrow’s show, which will run from 9:00 AM to 12:00 PM, and other music-related topics of interest.

    MARK: So what do you have planned for the show on Friday? Anything special for Obama?

    GREG: Hahah – nah, nothing special. I DID play a bunch of public service announcements that Obama made on my last show, in anticipation of his visit to Ann Arbor, though.

    MARK: Are you putting any shows together these days? (Greg’s put together a ton of great shows over the past dozen years, at places like the Magic Stick and the Crowfoot.)

    GREG: I’m not – my concert promoting endeavors are currently on hiatus. But I bet I’ll get back into it some time later this year, once I figure out what’s next for me.

    As for the show, it’ll be freeform – I can play whatever I want, within the limits of the FCC. But, since most of the stuff I play is sung in foreign languages, everything ought to be cool. I also try not to repeat songs on my regular show, The Palace at 4 A.M., which airs from 3 A.M. to 6 A.M. on Monday nights / Tuesday mornings. But I’ll probably play some of my favorite hits that I’ve played before, like Jodie Foster’s “La Vie C’est Chouette,” which is the theme song to my other radio show, that airs Tuesdays at noon on viva-radio.com.

    This is also the first week of WCBN’s 40th anniversary. And, even though I’ve been djing at WCBN since last May, this’ll be the first time I’m on the air during normal business hours. Both of these facts are big deals to me.

    MARK: And what was up with that t-shirt deal a while back?

    GREG: The “fuck your blog” one you asked me about before? Or the one with my face?

    MARK: We can talk about both, but I’m particularly interested in how the one that they were selling in American Apparel.

    GREG: The fuck your blog one was a band t-shirt for my pals Times New Viking. It just said “Fuck Your Blog,” with a peace sign in one of the Os. The band’s name doesn’t even appear on the shirt. It’s a big hit at critical mass bike rides. And yes, you’re correct – American Apparel made a t-shirt to promote my radio show, with a cartoon illustration of me on the front.

    MARK: So the “fuck your blog” one wasn’t directed at me personally?

    GREG: Kevin O’Neill, who does a lot of design work for Tim and Eric Awesome Show, designed it, from a photograph that Kelly Jean Caldwell took of me, singing karaoke. As for the “fuck your blog” one, I knew you’d be worried about that. I should’ve relieved your concerns earlier, but sometimes it’s fun to watch you squirm… Of course it wasn’t directed at you – your blog is great, and should serve as an inspiration to lesser bloggers.

    MARK: Did they just like the image, or are they fans of your music-related endeavors?

    GREG: Oh, I forgot to make the connection. Viva Radio is American Apparel’s inhouse instore radio station, and I’ve had a show there since they started. So this was what i believe is called a “product tie-in,” as people in the industry like to say.

    MARK: So have you made love to Dov Charney, like the other employees of American Apparel?

    GREG: I’m not gonna comment on that as I don’t want to arouse the jealousy of any of my many lovely friends at American Apparel.

    MARK: So, any thoughts on the American music landscape at the moment? Given your attention as of late to foreign language stuff, should I assume that you feel everything sung in English is shit?

    GREG: hahaha! Sometimes words get in the way, yes. But there’s always so much good music out there. That’s why I try not to repeat songs on my shows. Especially at WCBN, it’s a learning experience for me. Their music library is huge. Intimidating, even. I love exploring it, but it’s a challenge to dive into unknown music, when it’s easy to rely on what you already know.

    MARK: How did you get in at American Apparel? I’m curious. Did Dov, or someone else hear the show, or did you suggest it to them?

    GREG: A good friend of mine, Ted Shumaker, has been at Viva since the beginning, and he invited me to do a show. I like to think that the smart move to make a shirt for my show was a collaborative effort between the Viva people and American Apparel’s creative directors, but I’ve never looked into what really happened.

    MARK: I wasn’t aware, until just now, that American Apparel operates their own radio station. Can it be heard online, or anywhere else, other than in their stores? And is this unique to retailers? I mean, I know that a lot of stores subscribe to services that program music, handle rights, and all of that, but I wasn’t aware that anyone operated their own station.

    GREG: Yeah, they have their own station and website that anyone can check out here. Theoretically, that’s what’s supposed to be on in the stores all around the world. Lots of good shows – I especially enjoy Dan Selzer’s show, and not just because he’s on right after me. Kim Sorise’s Soundhouse turns me on to a lot of new music, too. I don’t know about other retailers that have their own in-house radio stations, but they are probably out there.

    MARK: Do you get discounts on stretch velvet leggings and halter leotards?

    GREG: As a matter of fact, I do.

    * So, yeah, I guess I it’s not all people that I can’t pee next to.

    Posted in Ann Arbor, Art and Culture, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

    How are things in Ypsi likely to change, if the city income tax doesn’t pass?

    Our last few posts about the proposed city income tax have not only initiated a lot of good, substantive conversations, but they’ve also led to quite a few more questions. Case in point… a couple of days ago, I received the following note from a reader of this site named Erika.

    Hi Mark, thanks for your continued coverage of Ypsi issues. I was wondering if you could help assemble and publish a list of city services that would no longer be possible or reliable if the income tax and milages don’t pass? I don’t think people really understand what it would mean to live in a city that wasn’t “intact” or “functional” or “sustainable”. So many of the newspaper articles mention that, but the only things that ever come up are police and fire. What are some other services that the city offers which could be impacted, reduced or cut? Off the top of my head, I am thinking trash/recycling/yard waste removal, snow plowing/salting, road maintenance/signs, ordinance/code enforcement, issuance of building permits, assessor services, clerk services, street lighting, mowing/maintenance at parks… what else? Also, what are some examples of life without these services? No one to issue building permits: serious delays in renovation/improvement of buildings in the city. No one to pick up recycling: cart all of your recycling to the Ann Arbor recycle center in your own car, pay a fee. No one to replace damaged road signs: missing road signs. No street lights: dark streets. We need to paint a picture in better detail so people can actually understand that this is real, that things they take for granted or assume just happen by magic are going to stop happening. I don’t really know what I am talking about here, I am just guessing on some of this stuff… who would be able to describe all of this in better detail? Paul Schrieber? Ed Koryzno? Frances McMullin? Thoughts?

    Well, I took the opportunity to forward Erika’s email to a few people who that I thought might have something useful to say on the matter, as well as all of the current members of Ypsilanti City Council. Following are the responses that I’ve received thus far. Hopefully you’ll find them informative. I’m sure, based on the conversations we’ve had thus far, that some of you out there will refer to these comments as “scare tactics”, intended to promote the pro-income tax agenda. All I can say is that I’m trying, as best as I can, to provide factual information. Yes, it may be scary, but sometimes the truth is. If you have facts contrary to those which are being shared, though, I’d encourage you to leave a comment. And I’ll do my best to see that your concerns are addressed.


    MICHAEL BODARY, Council Member:
    Questions about what we have left in departments other than police and fire have been asked and I will try to answer some, but others may chime in with others. I’m only speaking off the cuff now. Generally we try to make changes when someone moves on so we are not leaving them unemployed. Recently we outsourced our assessor’s position to a 2 day a week contracted position with more time during hearings. We also contract with Pittsfield Twp. for inspections on an as needed basis. Private firms do other specific inspections and are paid by the collected fees. We have a full time person doing small building rental inspections but our main inspections officer Mr Frank Daniels Jr. does larger buildings as time allows. he is assisted by Mr. Jackson who enforces city code violations. Parking ticket collections are outsourced and we have seen a increase in payments and settlements. Violations are subject to the Administrative Hearings Bureau and fines are used to defray costs. Each section of administration has downsized and may have more cuts necessary. Many jobs have been combined, especially in city hall where people wear multiple hats as needed.

    BRIAN ROBB, Council Member:
    In every scenario under consideration, we need to cut $700K out of the FYE 2013 budget that we will adopt in June. We don’t know what those cuts will be yet. In November we asked Mr. Koryzno to come up with a list. That list is still being generated. A lot of things are going to get cut regardless of the election issues. We’ll make those decisions in May.

    There is a separate millage for trash and recycling collection. We currently run a deficit and fund that deficit from the motor pool. The contract with Waste Management is up for renewal in 2013. Ypsi Twp’s contract is up at the same time. We could possibly get a better deal if both communities can negotiate one mega-contract. We tried to do this back in 2007, but Ypsi Twp’s contract didn’t line up with ours. They renewed their contract and planned to have it end when ours does in hopes of negotiating together. It’s possible we could go to pay to throw trash service, but if we did that, I’d imagine most residents would drop their trash off in front of City Hall. We could also privatize recycling. This could make sense when it comes time to replace the trucks that pick up recycling, but that’s not scheduled to happen any time soon. That’s a lot to take in at once, but it means that trash pick-up and recycling aren’t disappearing.

    DPW is funded almost entirely from Act 51 funds. This is where damaged roads signs and snow removal comes from in the budget. In every scenario we’ve run, there are no lay-offs in public works.

    The Building Department is nearly self-sustaining. It wouldn’t make any sense to lay anyone off from a department that pays for itself.

    The City contracts for assessing services. We are legally required to provide assessing services on an annual basis.

    The City Charter requires that we have a City Clerk. We have two people working in the Clerk’s department. Theoretically we could reduce that number to one, but it’s unlikely.

    The City has a part-time ordinance enforcement officer. He’s awesome as far as I’m concerned. Theoretically we could get rid of him, but it’s unlikely.

    The City has one employee dedicated to parks. Theoretically we could hire a corporate lawn service, but I’m not sure what savings would occur, if any.

    The City spends around $580K annually on streetlighting. In November I asked about the legality of creating a streetlighting special assessment district. The idea is that each parcel would be assessed a share of that $580K and that expense would then come off the books. It’s not cutting costs as much as is making residents pay for yet another service. Garden City passed a variation of this proposal in October. Some members of Council are still on board with this, but I’m not. I could see a special assessment district that raised the capital to convert all lights to LED savings us as much as 30% a year ($180K), but we’d have to study it in order to find real numbers.

    The only thing on your list that I haven’t address yet is road maintenance. We ran out of money to do roads a few years ago. East Cross was done with ARRA money. West Cross is being done with money we sat aside during the FYE 2010 budgetting process (hoping we would also get ARRA money). The two biggest road projects left are Grove Road and Huron River Drive. I don’t think we’ll be in the TIP plan for Grove Road until 2016. The first street millage falls off the books in FYE 2017 with the second expiring in FYE 2019. We could always renew those, but that’s a bit complicated since those were for local streets and what remains are major streets.

    Back in November, City Staff gave us the average cost of a General Fund employee (i.e. not DPW) as being $75,989. There are 72.88 General Fund employees in the City. According to City Staff, that means General Fund employees cost us $5,538,078. If our total General Fund revenues for FYE 2012 were $11,797,305, the City spends $6,259,227 on things that aren’t employees (i.e. streetlighting, insurance, legal costs, Water Street debt, etc.).

    By FYE 2017, a Water Street debt retirement millage will add 5.9971 mils to your taxes. In addition, the Fire & Police pension millage will have risen to 15.2972 (an increase of 8.974 over today’s millage rate). That’s a 14.9711 increase in the next five years. I only add those numbers for the surreal factor plus the fact that no one seems to be talking ablut the massive F&P pension millage increases.

    Now that may sound like a very significant tax increase, but the good news is we’re expecting the value of your home to drop 18%.

    I also need to mention that even with a income tax and 15 mils of property tax increases, we’ll still need to cut another $700K from the FYE 2015 budget, so don’t let anyone convince you that these ballot measures are going to “maintain” services at their current levels. These ballot measures are going to allow us to only cut $1.4M out of the budget over the next three years.

    Obviously these are not the answers you wanted, but no one is going to be able to tell you we’re going to cut X of these, Y of these, and Z of these because we haven’t identified them yet.

    PETE MURDOCK, Council Member:
    As with everything it’s complicated with City budgeting.

    Clearly if our revenues are going down $4M from $14M to $10M over five years and we now have make payments for Water Street Debt ($1.3M) significant expenditure reductions (cuts) are necessary with no additional revenue. We will have at the City Council meeting on Feb 7 five year projections – one with new revenue and one without. It won’t be a detailed budget document but it will show the impact on personnel and services.

    The short answer to the inquiry is virtually everything we do in the general fund will be impacted. The largest expenditures are in public safety – police, fire and building/code enforcement and most of that is personnel.

    That’s where the money is. We have already reduced staffing by one third over the last ten years from 139 to 93. Those reductions have been across the board, including police, fire, DPS and Administration. Even City Council had been reduced from 11 to 7 in 1995. Some services such as Clerk, elections, Assessing for example are mandated by law and can’t be eliminated. And they already have been reduced to two persons in the Clerk’s office and contracting out the assessor. Other functions such as the Building Inspection, Rental Inspection and Parking Enforcement generate their own revenue and elimination of those activities would eliminate the activity would achieve little if any net savings. Some items such as buildings and parks maintenance are already near non-existent. The solid waste operations (Trash, Recycling and compost) are funded out of separate dedicated millage. But this fund has an ongoing deficit that been supported by an additional $300K transferred from other sources. The loss of the ability to maintain that subsidy, would cause a reduction and/or elimination of these services .The streets are funded by an allocation from the state of the gas tax which has been shrinking every year and already has caused reductions in some of the items mentioned in the email. Road funding is a big topic of the governor and the legislature. Increased funding and a new distribution formula is being contemplated. The new formula could be to our benefit or our detriment. We are watching that one closely with our folks in Lansing. As an aside most of the DPS employees are paid out of the solid waste or Major or Local Street funds – not the general fund.

    An early estimate of staffing reductions from Ed estimated a 14-17 person reduction the first year and more following out of approximately 73 GF employees.

    Existing employees (FTE) in the GF

    12.03 City Hall Administration, (City manager, Finances, Human Resources, City Clerk, Planning)
    35 Police
    19.5 Fire
    3.95 Building Inspection/Code Enforcement
    2 Parks and DPS
    72.48 TOTAL

    Hope that’s not too confusing.

    Also, I forgot to mention that two of our police officers are funded through a COPS grant (Other People’s Money) and it runs out next year (FY 2012-13) – making the reduction of two police positions produce no net savings to our general fund.

    PAUL SCHREIBER, Mayor:
    In order to answer the specifics listed in the original email, city council must pass a budget. City council will consider a five-year budget on February 7. According to the city charter, city council must be pass the annual detailed budget ordinance by June 30. Specifics of services lost will become clearer as the budget is fleshed out…

    Property taxes are no longer a stable source of revenue. Even if property values shot up, Prop A and Headlee would keep revenues down. A city income tax would boost and diversify revenues.

    As an example, without a revenue boost the city estimates that 41 general fund employees would be cut by 2017. The city currently employs 20 in the fire department and 34 in the police department out of 73 general fund employees. The other 19 employees administer clerk, finance, planning and zoning, treasury and others. It’s hard to imagine how city services could be delivered by cutting 41 of these employees or any other combination of cuts to balance the budget. That’s why I support the city income tax and the Water Street bond millage.

    RICHARD MURPHY, former City Planner:
    It sounds like the questioner is interested in qualitative changes, too.

    One that I’ll call out (predictably) is the planning & economic development function, which can be seen as the piece of the city government dedicated to enabling and helping good stuff to happen (developers building things, businesses moving in, attracting residents) as opposed to meeting state mandates (clerk, assessing, etc) or preventing bad things from happening (public safety).

    Check out this aptly-named article on Ferndale’s Valentine Vodka micro-distillery, “What does it mean to be business-friendly?” For a startup or other small business, “get out of the way” is *not* the highest and best thing that the city can do for them: they need and want help from city staff to find appropriate buildings, interface with resources (whether incentive programs, networking, etc.), or navigating higher-level regulatory processes (city planning staff spends a lot of time helping businesses deal with the county and state). A city that does not have somebody on staff to play that role, to handhold and advocate for developers and businesses, will lose out to communities that can provide that service.

    Benton Harbor and Pontiac are the counter-examples, of cities that can’t provide that: both have eliminated their planning & development staff, and thus lack anyone for a new business or developer to talk to for help, advice, and support. As a result, some developers won’t even try, or will give up when they can’t get that support. (And this is what I have been told by developers who have done work in those cities in the past, not just within my echo chamber.)

    So, what do you make of all that? And, if I may ask, are you more inclined, or less inclined to vote “yes” for the local income tax as a result of having read through it? Or, are you too busy putting your house on the market, in hopes of selling it before we fall into the abyss, to give the vote much thought?

    Posted in Ypsilanti | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 62 Comments

      The new Director of Ypsilanti’s Heritage Festival, Andrew Clock, on the future of the event

      As I believe most of you know, word went out a few months ago that the group of individuals behind Ypsilanti’s annual Heritage Festival were looking, after several years, to hand the reins off to a new generation of leaders. There were a few open meetings, that interested individuals were encouraged to attend, and, ultimately, word went out that, in addition to needing volunteers, they were also looking for a part-time, paid director. Well, it would appear that they’ve made their selection and offered the position to Andrew Clock, who many of you probably know as the guy who’s been leading efforts to see a permanent path built through the City’s Water Street property, thereby tying together existing legs of the Border to Border Trail. Well, as luck would have it, I had an opportunity to ask Andrew a few questions this evening. Here’s our brief interview.

      MARK: OK, I know that your perspective is likely to change as you get farther into things, but, as of right now, what’s the situation relative to the Heritage Fest? Do we have the money, and the people we need to make it happen this summer?

      ANDREW: I haven’t been given any of the festival documents as of yet, as this just became official Tuesday night, so I have no way to talk dollar amounts at this time. What I have been told is that there is enough money to at least pay all of the basic expenses – park rental, police, permits, etc – and that’s a lot of money. So, I would guess that we can cover the biggest expenses, but again, that’s without seeing the numbers. And there’s a certain amount of income that we know will come from vendors as they make reservations. As for people, we can always use more! While the old group of directors stepped down, they haven’t walked away, and are still giving a lot of help, especially while we’re getting reorganized. There are already many new and returning people in place, and we will have our first steering committee meeting next week, so I will have a much better idea of what positions we need help in after that. I also haven’t even begun to tap into my network from the Jamboree or Water Street Trail. The short answer though, is that we will need more money and more volunteers.

      MARK: Clearly, bringing you onboard is a big change. At least, my sense is that the same group of people have been running the event for years, and that you’re a relative outsider? Why is it that you think they chose to go with you? Were they looking for a complete break with the past?

      ANDREW: I don’t think that it’s about making a break with the past, but it is about making a change. I have a lot of connections around town, and I represent a younger demographic, and if the festival is to endure, we have to start bringing in new faces. A lot of the people who are stepping down now were around our age when they started 10 years ago. Some have been around a lot longer than that. It’s our turn now. Of course the festival will change because of this transition, but I think that it will be a reflection of how Ypsi has changed.

      Another factor is that I have a unique skill set. I’ve produced a large scale festival in Ypsilanti before, and, while I didn’t manage all the details, as I will here, I’ve been in the position to direct a couple hundred volunteers, take care of vendors, deal with equipment failures, work with the police, city and sponsors, handle fundraising, and everything else that comes along with producing a large scale event. That’s not to say I don’t have a steep learning curve, but I think those are experiences that not many people can claim.

      MARK: So, what are your big ideas? What’s your vision for the future of the event? I know you’ve talked about bringing in more food, and moving it somewhat in the direction of Arts Beats and Eats in Royal Oak? Is that still on the table? Are there other ideas that you’d be willing share at this point?

      ANDREW: Right now, all of this is coming off the cuff. I can’t say that, “this is the plan”, but I do have some ideas. There will not be any over-all major change… there’s not going to be a cover… we’re not going to have open beer sales. That’s just not realistic in this time frame, and its probably not a direction we need to go in.

      My first priority is to examine how we can better focus what we do on what people in the community want. We know we want family activities of course, and we want to keep those new and fresh. I hope to be able to build partnerships with groups like Community Records, 826 and the Neutral Zone to include older kids as well. History is going to be making a comeback in a big way, too. I haven’t had a chance to meet with the Heritage committee yet, but they have been the most active of our committees so far. James Mann is heading it up, so I’m fairly sure that base is covered.

      For the adults, I would like to move our main park stage into the beer tent, and run music as late as the beer tent can stay open. I also want to explore bringing in Michigan beer, and local bands like Black Jake and the Carnies, The Third Coast Kings, Laith Al Saadi, Lighting Love, The Muggs, George Bedard – people that have a real following in our community. I’d like to see if its realistic to say, keep the some of the carnie food in place, but offer some more substantial and local options for meals, maybe even tying in a “restaurant week” kind of thing, because we want our local businesses to prosper too.

      I’m going to be working a lot in the next few weeks to see what is feasible and what is out of reach for this year. But it’s all going to come down to volunteers and money in the end. The more help, sponsors and donors, the better we can make it.

      I do want to make it clear… anyone who’s been going to the Heritage Festival is not going to find themselves asking where their festival went. I hope to have them saying, “wow, that’s a great change/addition”, and the 10 people behind them saying “this is great, I can’t believe we never came here before.”

      MARK: Is the Jamboree officially dead? If not, could it perhaps be rolled into Heritage Fest?

      ANDREW: I can’t speak for the Jamboree in any capacity at this point. The Jamboree as it existed under the DTCDC is dead to my knowledge, but that doesn’t mean that some of the core group isn’t planning on going forward with another festival. While I do want to focus on local beer and music, I would want the music to skew to a broader demographic. I want to bring in younger acts, but I don’t want to cut out all of the acts that appeal to an older crowd, or try to appeal to a certain genre over another either. I’m hoping to be able to get a blend that will appeal to as many residents and visitors as possible. Oh, and one thing I left out concerning entertainment – the casino will be back, set up right next to the beer tent, where it belongs.

      MARK: Have you talked with local business owners about how something like a Restaurant Week might work for them?

      ANDREW: I have not yet explored the details of how to tie in local food, though I believe there are some volunteers already looking into it – assessing what’s feasible, either in the park or as an added attraction. It’s one of the first things I want to tackle, because those food vendors want to have their plans for the summer done in the next few months, if not weeks. I would also like to approach the DDA or CVB about coordinating with local businesses to have sales or specials for Heritage Festival, to take a little pressure off of our organization. A shopping guide or coupon book like the holiday guide you used to produce would go a long way when you already have the people in town.

      MARK: Are there any other things you’d like to say? Is there a date and time that people can show up if they’re interested in volunteering?

      ANDREW: Just that I really hope to be able to build on the traditions of the Heritage Festival, while making it more relevant and entertaining to an even broader group of residents and visitors. I’ll be looking for media partners and sponsors that want to be a part of growing the festival and spreading the word right away.

      I don’t have anything specific for people who are not yet involved in the festival, but I will within the next week or two. In the meantime, anyone interested in getting involved can contact me at yhfdirector@gmail.com, or they can get in touch with any of the dozens of volunteers already working, and give them some help. Chances are, everyone knows someone already involved.

      [note: for those of you who are curious as to what Andrew looks like, an older video interview that I conducted with him can be found here.]

      Posted in Food, History, Ypsilanti | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

      My sign idea for Friday’s Obama visit

      I can’t make it out to Obama’s campaign speech on college affordability this Friday, so I’m offering up my sign idea to whomever would like to use it. (You don’t have to dress like a bear, by the way.)

      I debated going with a sign calling attention to one of the many issues I have with the Obama administration, but, ultimately, I decided that, given the venue, and the audience, it made more sense to take the opportunity to draw attention to our Governor’s aggressive use of the Emergency Financial Manager Act to take control of Michigan’s aging cities, invalidate local elections, subvert the will of the people, break union contracts, sell off publicly owned assets, and privatize what little remains. If we’re to believe Snyder that this is a good thing at the local level, wouldn’t it stand to reason that it would also be a good thing at the state level? I say we ask Obama to give it a shot…. for our own good.

      Posted in Ideas, Mark's Life, Michigan, Observations, Politics | Tagged , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

      In defense of my beautiful body… majestic penis

      Last night, in a post about a new bar in Ypsi, I noted my dislike of trough urinals. This admission attracted the following comment from an Ypsilantian by the name of Karen.

      If you’re ashamed of your penis that much, you should get a catheter for when you go out to eat.

      In a later comment, she went on to speculate that I may suffer from “discoloration problems,” or that there may be something unusual going on with my testicles.

      Well, after consulting with my family, and several local clergymen, I’ve decided to make a statement.

      There’s nothing wrong with my penis.

      Truth is, I just don’t much enjoy excreting bodily fluids in front of strangers.

      For what it’s worth, I also try my best not to poop in front of people that I don’t know.

      And, I should add, that has nothing to do with the shape, coloration or functionality of my anus. (It’s exquisite, by the way.) I just think that some things are best kept private.

      But, as I know that many of you, like Karen, are suspicious by nature, and think that there’s some kind of penile deformity lurking beneath the crotch of my Toughskins, I’ve asked Linette to submit a sworn affidavit describing every subtle nuance of my genitalia. (She’s been keeping detailed notes on it for close to two decades now, so the report should be somewhat exhaustive, and I’m hoping that it will put any lingering doubts to rest once and for all.) And, if this doesn’t satisfy Karen and the other Penile Truthers in the audience, I’ll submit to examination by a neutral party (preferably someone with a lab coat).

      And, for what it’s worth, my mother says that I have a beautiful body.

      Posted in Mark's Life, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

      Religion, a net positive?

      A few days ago, in response to a post about my aunt, who had been swindled by a member of her church in Wisconsin, a reader by the name of Mr. X left the following comment.

      Has religion given us more good than bad, historically speaking? I’d like to say that it was a positive force for many years, as mankind made the transition to civil society, and that makes all the shit since then worth it, but I’m beginning to think that it’s shifting toward a net negative. I mean, the golden rule was awesome, and revolutionary, but does that counterbalance the religious wars, the stoning of rape victims, the pedophilia of priests, the greed and cruelty of the mega-church crowd who would rather see the poor starve in the streets than pay more in taxes, the historic theft of the Catholic church, the denying of birth control to people who can’t feed the children that they already have, and all the rest?

      A reader calling himself Mr. Y then responded with the following, which, I felt as though I had to move up here to the front page. Here’s hoping that you find it as thought provoking as I did.

      It’s a question well worth asking, but the term “religion” is so broad to be meaningless. It’s like asking has “science” or “technology” given us more good than bad. The wheel was pretty cool. So were sharp tools and fire. But then came tanks, swords and nuclear bombs. So is science good or bad?

      Of course, you can’t easily escape that your very question is grounded on religious notions of good and bad, as defined by our dominant religious history. Some religions are based on caste, rulers as unquestionable deity, raping children to attain purity and so on…

      So, no, religion is not a pure good (i.e., “good” as defined by Christian religion). But I think what you recoil against isn’t religion, but hypocrisy (as defined by Christian religion).

      In pre-Christian Rome, raping kids wasn’t considered pedophilia (at least not in a bad way). It was more akin to getting a free cup of coffee on the way to work. The Romans, of course, were quite religious. They thought they were good. We don’t, since we’re in the lineage of their replacement religion that thought sexing most anything was bad.

      I do think the past century has given us a glimpse at non-religious States moral aptitude. It’s also worth noting that the States that have made the most progress in a spectrum human rights still carry a loud echo of the golden rule in their collective unconsciousness. (I still think the Golden Rule is awesome.)

      The Golden Rule (do unto others) does (on face value) stand in pretty starkly naive contrast to “survival of the fittest.” Which party platform would you vote for? Do unto others or survival of the fittest? (Fits nicely, eh?)

      If I may get religious, Jesus used the term hypocrite more than once. I think he knew it’d be a useful term. It recognizes and anticipates the inevitability of fakes. Opportunist fakes are inevitable. Hypocrisy is not religion.

      As an aside, since all your negative references to “religion” were of Christian hypocrisy, is it fair to ask that you’re real question was “is Christianity useful?”

      My answer is to look around the world for the past century or so. Is there a place you can find where human dignity (with its slow moving imperfections) is as fully realized as in nation’s with a Christian lineage? What system (religious or otherwise) would you prefer raise your children in?

      As right as it is to rail against hypocrisy, we need to give props to the source of our indignancy. The most irreligious among us, are, on the moral scale of defining “right” and “wrong,” deeply, deeply Christian.

      If, in our current age of science, you even think in terms of right and wrong, you are hopelessly religious.

      The rest of you read Ayn Rand.

      Please feel free to pour yourself a dixie cup full of wine and join in the discussion.

      Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

      Tonight’s Sate of the Union address

      I’m listing to the President’s State of the Union address right now, and wondering how in the hell any of the Republicans currently fighting for their party’s nomination think they’ve got a realistic shot against him come November. I know it’s just a speech, and a lot of the ideas will never come to fruition, but it just seems to me that his pitch is super tight. Sure, the economy isn’t where we want it, and a lot of us on the left side of the spectrum are still upset over the handling of the health care debate, his reluctance to repeal the Bush tax cuts, the increasing threat to civil liberties at home, and any number of other things, but, when it comes to core messages that resonate with the American people, I can’t imagine Gingrich of Romney being able to lay a glove on him. Fear, anger, and the “but he’s a socialist” rhetoric only go so far.

      For those of you listening at home, our friends at Think Progress have put together an interesting list of background facts. Here are a few of my favorites.

      • Since the last SOTU, the economy has created 1.9 million private sector jobs. [Source]
      • The top 1 percent take home 24 percent of the nation’s income, up from about 9 percent in 1976. [Source]
      • Private sector job creation under Obama in 2011 was larger than seven out of the eight years Bush was president. [Source]
      • The top 1 percent of Americans own 40 percent of our country’s wealth while the bottom 80 percent owns only 7 percent. [Source]
      • Thanks to the Affordable Care Act, 2.5 million young adults gained health insurance. [Source]
      • Last year, China spent 9 percent of its GDP on infrastructure. The U.S. spent 2.5 percent. [Source]
      • 2.65 million seniors saved an average of $569 on prescriptions last year thanks to the Affordable Care Act. [Source]
      • Union membership is at a 70-year low. [Source]
      • The United States used to have the world’s largest percentage of college graduates. We’re now #14. [Source]
      • 47.8 percent of households that receive food stamps are working, because having a job is not enough to keep them out of poverty. [Source]
      • In the last three years, 30 major corporations spent more on lobbying than they paid in taxes. [Source]
      • 50 percent of U.S. workers make less than $26,364 per year. [Source]
      • More than one in 70 homes faced foreclosure last year. [Source]
      • Since 1985, the federal tax rate for the 400 wealthiest Americans dropped from 29 percent to 18 percent. [Source]

      So, do you think he sufficiently addressed all of these issues tonight?

      Speaking of Obama, will anyone be going to hear him speak when he comes to Ann Arbor on Friday?

      update: Did he just say that he’s launching a task force to explore the prosecution of those financial sector executives responsible for the economic disaster we’ve been living through?

      update: Did I just hear people in the audience booing Obama for suggesting that we should pass a law making it illegal for members of Congress to benefit financially from insider trading? COuld that be possible?

      update: The transcript of the entire address can be found here.

      update: OK, here’s the part of the speech about the prosecution of Wall Street evil doers… I just hope that he follows though, and this isn’t just another election year promise, like that time he told us that he’d close GITMO.

      …We will also establish a Financial Crimes Unit of highly trained investigators to crack down on large-scale fraud and protect people’s investments. Some financial firms violate major anti-fraud laws because there’s no real penalty for being a repeat offender. That’s bad for consumers, and it’s bad for the vast majority of bankers and financial service professionals who do the right thing. So pass legislation that makes the penalties for fraud count.

      And tonight, I am asking my Attorney General to create a special unit of federal prosecutors and leading state attorneys general to expand our investigations into the abusive lending and packaging of risky mortgages that led to the housing crisis. This new unit will hold accountable those who broke the law, speed assistance to homeowners, and help turn the page on an era of recklessness that hurt so many Americans…

      As of right now, I’m not terribly inclined to cut the Obama campaign a check. (I figure that’s what corporations are for, right?) That would change in an instant, though, if we actually started seeing bankers being brought up on charges.

      Posted in Corporate Crime, Politics, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

      The Wurst Bar… tasty meat trumps trough urinals

      As you know, I have a policy against recommending establishments that force men to haul out their penises and dangle them over trough urinals. In spite of that, though, I’m going to encourage all of you to visit Ypsilanti’s newest watering hole, The Wurst Bar. While homemade bratwursts seem to be their speciality, I just tried the burger they call The Southerner, which is served with bacon, pimento cheese and a slice fried green tomato, and it was awesome. I’d like to say more about this place, their commitment to sourcing 85% of their ingredients locally, and the fact that the man in charge is easily angered, but all of that will have to wait for another time. Right now, I just need to collapse into a tater tot induced coma.

      Posted in Food, Ypsilanti | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

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