This is the best picture we’ve ever taken as a family. Our friend Leisa Thompson took it about a year ago. For reasons that still aren’t quite clear to me, we were hanging out inside a giant piece of sculpture at the time. We had a print of it made, and it’s hanging upstairs, about six feet from where I’m tying this now. I’ve never thought seriously about running for public office, but it’s hard to look at it and not think, “I could win a Congressional race with this.”
I wonder if anyone’s ever run for office just because, by some quirk of fate, they’d taken an incredibly good family photo. I suspect they have.
Even if I’d wanted to run for office, I couldn’t. I’ve said too much. Just a few weeks ago, I was standing in a group of a dozen or so people, explaining to them at there was nothing so ugly in all the world as an all-white baby. I was only half serious, of course, but I can see how my opponents might be tempted to take something like that and run with it. And then there was that unfortunate stretch, about ten years ago, when a shockingly large percentage of the posts here were about ball shaving. And I’m sure that’s just scratching the surface. If someone was really motivated to destroy me, who knows what they might find by digging through the archives of this site…
update: On a whim, I spent ten minutes going through the archive, looking for things that could possibly derail a political career, and found, among other things, evidence of me begging a porn star to find me a writing job in the industry, and a watercolor that I’d done of my penis, which I referred to as majestic… So, no need to worry Debbie Dingell, you’re safe this time.
update: I didn’t, by the way, obscure the eyes of my wife, son and daughter in the photo above because I was embarrassed of them. I did it because I was embarrassed for them. It’s one thing to ruin one’s own political career by posting about being thrown off of Romper Room for spitting and having a fetish for Mary Todd Lincoln. It’s another, though, to have one’s political career thwarted in middle school by a father intent on over-sharing in public.