Father of Balloon Boy believes world is run by reptilian humanoids

By Mark | October 19, 2009

balloonboyinperilI wasn’t going to write about the Balloon Boy hoax… I wasn’t… But, then I read an interview on Gawker with a man that worked with Richard Heene, the father of the Balloon Boy, in which it’s mentioned that the fame-obsessed dad was, among other things, obsessed by the idea that the world is really run by a secret sect of reptilian humanoids. And, as this is a theory that we’ve talked about here a few times in the past, I thought that it at least deserved a mention. So, here’s a clip from the interview with Heene’s associate, who was, until recently, working with him on a proposal for a reality television series:

…But he was motivated by theories I thought were far-fetched. Like Reptilians — the idea there are alien beings that walk among us and are shape shifters, able to resemble human beings and running the upper echelon of our government. Somehow a secret government has covered all this up since the U.S. was established, and the only way to get the truth out there was to use the mainstream media to raise Richard to a status of celebrity, so he could communicate with the masses…

So, just keep that in the back of your mind, OK… Not only is this man an asshole who’s willing to manipulate his children in order to attain television celebrity, but he believes that Hillary Clinton, among others, are really giant upright-walking lizards, who can shape shift like Dr. Jonathan Chase at the drop of a hat. This, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you, is some serious fucked-up shit.

Although…. What if, perhaps, the lizard people got wind of his ingenious plan to expose them, and set him up to look like a colossal douche bag? What then?

OK, as long as we’ve opened Pandora’s box, here’s another clip in which the associate is recounting what Heene said about the possibility of getting the attention of the press with a fake UFO.

…Can we attract UFO’s with a homemade flying saucer? We will modify a weather balloon, so that it resembles a UFO and will electrically charge the skin of the craft (Biefield-Brown Effect). We will capture the footage on film, and will utilize the media as a means with which to make our presence known to the masses. This will not only provide us with incredible footage, but will also generate a tremendous amount of controversy among the public, as well as publicity within the mainstream media. This will be the most significant UFO-related news event to take place since the Roswell Crash of 1947, and the result will be a dramatic increase in local and national awareness about The Heene Family, our Reality Series, as well as the UFO Phenomenon in general.

I clearly remember Richard telling me that, if we accomplish this, it would be the most controversial and widespread UFO news story since Roswell in 1947…

And that, to me, is the delicious part of all of this… that no one in the media, from the very start of this, mentioned the word “flying saucer.” Here the guy works his ass off making a ridiculous little flying saucer-shaped balloon, and no one even acknowledges it. Just listen to their 911 calls. Heene and his wife must say “flying saucer” a dozen times. But no one bites. To everyone in the world, the story was about the “balloon” boy. I almost feel bad for the guy.

[note: According to Time, Mr. and Mrs. Heene, who met each other while taking acting classes in LA, by the way, called TV stations before calling 911.]

Posted in Media, Observations, Other | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

What exactly is organic propellant?

By Mark | October 19, 2009

batterblast

My friend Leighton recently brought the existence of the Organic Batter Blaster to my attention. Leaving aside for the moment the “ejaculative” nature of the name, to use Leighton’s terminology, I’m left wondering what organic propellant it is that they use to compel the Batter Blaster plaster from it’s phallic tube. I ran the idea by my friend Steve Cherry, and he’s of the opinion that it’s dioxin, which now qualifies as organic as it’s “found in every living thing on the planet.” I suspect it’s probably nitrous oxide… Anyway, I wonder how much father the “organic” bar can be lowered. Does McDonald’s have an organic McNugget yet?

update: OK, I just found this on the company’s website: “Batter Blaster is powered by the more ozone layer-friendly CO2, not the nitrous oxide propellant that can be found in whipped cream canisters.”

Posted in Food | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

What’s going to happen with the Thompson block?

By Mark | October 19, 2009

thomposnblockscaffoldsI had occasion to talk with a gentleman the other day who is in the construction business, and he indicated to me that saving the Thompson block at this point would be near impossible. He said that it was likely that the mortar holding the bricks in place, which was already beginning to fail in sections, was further weakened by the extreme heat of the fire. In his professional opinion, the only way to move forward at this point would be to number the bricks, take down the walls, and then build them back again with new mortar, perhaps reversing them in the process, so that the sides previously facing in, faced out. He, however, acknowledged that doing so would almost certainly make the project ineligible for historic building grants and incentives such as those which had been under consideration prior to the fire. So, I’m not sure where this leaves us as a community. What I do know, however, is that the structure, as it now stands, isn’t likely to stand for long. So, what’s the best case scenario given all the variables? If it is concluded that the structure needs to be taken down brick by brick, and rebuilt, how does that impact the funding of the project? And, what’s the liability involved in keeping it as it is, with big winter storms and significant snowfall not so far off in our future?

Posted in Architecture, Ypsilanti | Tagged , , , , , , | 71 Comments

The Twitter-enabled microwave

By Mark | October 19, 2009

I first had the idea that it would be stupid cool if you could rig your TV so that every time you switched the channel, it would send a Twitter update. While the thought of totally clogging up the system with hundreds of posts like, “Mark Maynard, after watching Saved By the Bell the College Years for 8 seconds, switched to Big Valley,” really appealed to me, though, I wasn’t convinced that people would pay for it. Then I had the idea for the Twitter-enabled microwave… Here’s how it works… Every time you put something in the microwave, it would “tweet” how long it was set to go for, and what the power setting was. Then, everyone else following you on Twitter, if they wanted to, could guess what you were heating up! Totally game-changing AND paradigm-shifting, right?

“Hmmm… It says here that Sam Smith is cooking something for 20 minutes on defrost. I’m thinking pot roast…”

And maybe, in the future it could even show you a picture of everything prior to cooking, and just after. There are really no limitations as to how far we could go.

Now, I’m thinking about the possibility of getting a Twitter account for my toilet, and having it send updates every time it flushes… Wouldn’t that be great? And who wouldn’t spend an extra $100 when buying a new toilet to have it Twitter-enabled?

Posted in Ideas | Tagged , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Elizabeth Clare Prophet, and what made her give up her weapons stockpile

By Mark | October 19, 2009

Doomsday predicting cult leader Elizabeth Clare Prophet, perhaps best known to many of you as the visionary musician responsible for works like The Great Divine Rectors Call, has died at the age of 70. I don’t know much about Prophet or her cult – the Church Universal and Triumphant – but I came across an interesting fact in the New York Times just now that I wanted to pass along. Apparently, the government made an interesting bargain with her in the 80’s, when it became know that she was stockpiling weapons. Here’s a clip:

…In the late 1980s, Mrs. Prophet issued warnings of an impending nuclear strike by the Soviet Union against the United States. More than 2,000 of her followers left their homes and gathered at the church’s compound near Corwin Springs, Mont., near the northern edge of Yellowstone National Park. There they began stockpiling weapons, food and clothing in underground bomb shelters.

Mounting tensions with local residents subsided when the predicted attack did not occur, and church members began returning home. At the same time, a looming face-off with the United States government was averted when church leaders agreed not to store weapons in return for a reinstatement of the church’s tax-exempt status, which had been revoked in 1987…

I guess I’m naive, but I didn’t think such things happened. And it makes me wonder if perhaps any creative negotiating took place prior to the siege of the Branch Davidian compound in Texas that ended so horribly.

I just like the psychology of it… the fact that, when push came to shove, Prophet was apparently more interested in keeping her money than in continuing to push the threat of doomsday. I don’t know that I like that our government gave away tax exempt status in exchange for weapons, but I appreciate the creativity.

Posted in Religious Extremism | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Connect

BUY LOCAL... or shop at Amazon through this link Banner Initiative Cherewick Header