I don’t give a fuck which Seinfeld character Buzzfeed says you are… You won’t believe my new super awesome meme…

Tired of my Facebook “friends” sharing the results of their bullshit Buzzfeed quizes, I decided to channel a little of my passive aggressive super power in their direction this evening. Enjoy.

dryerlint3

brownbear2

taftear

peaches3

AnkleSock

swisschard2

teapot3

nixoncheckers2

largeintestine3

fetlmouse2

PinkLady2

gregorytburnell2

smallwonder2

RIckNerd2

maritime2

RickSNyderComeKid

hereticsfork2

vaccinedenial2

And, here, if you aren’t aware of the meme I’m rebelling against, are a few examples from the most awful place on the internet – the point where Buzzfeed and Facebook intersect.

Screen Shot 2014-02-04 at 4.26.59 PM

Screen Shot 2014-02-04 at 4.43.23 PM

And, for what it’s worth, I don’t hate you if you take these quizzes. I understand the appeal. Who wouldn’t want to know which character on Three’s Company they’d be, if all of humanity were sorted into Jacks, Chrissys and Janets? (That, by the way, is what I think will happen when Jesus comes back.) I totally get it. It’s useful information to have. I just think that maybe there are better ways to spend one’s time. And, with that in mind, I intend to continue building on this meme until Buzzfeed is dead, and all the problems of the world have been resolved… So, if you have ideas for similar quizzes, send them my way.

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26 Comments

  1. dennis
    Posted February 5, 2014 at 6:46 am | Permalink

    http://i.imgur.com/4m2nome.jpg

  2. Eel
    Posted February 5, 2014 at 9:34 am | Permalink

    I think of myself as Lincoln’s mole, but apparently I’m Zachary Taylor’s taint.

  3. Mike Shecket
    Posted February 5, 2014 at 9:54 am | Permalink

    http://imgur.com/suPnxU2

  4. Erika
    Posted February 5, 2014 at 9:57 am | Permalink

    Public service announcement: most of the time when people use the term “passive aggressive”, they are using it incorrectly. What they mean is “covert aggression”. If there is an action, it is not passive. Sarcasm, for example, is not passive aggression because it is active. Same for back-handed compliments.

    Passive aggression is more like being stubborn, refusing to do something, being consistently late or forgetting things as a way to exert control, obstructionism, etc. That passivity, or non-action, is the aggression because it frustrates the other person.

  5. Joe Montgomery
    Posted February 5, 2014 at 10:06 am | Permalink

    Which MarkMaynard.com meme are you?

    http://imgur.com/awGkdqR

  6. Arkopolis
    Posted February 5, 2014 at 10:40 am | Permalink

    1. Bellybutton lint
    2. Squirrel with ski mask
    3. Jefferson’s great toe (right foot)
    4. Kroger peaches
    5. Tube sock (three blue stripes)
    6. Beet seeds.

  7. Edward
    Posted February 5, 2014 at 11:28 am | Permalink

    I’m told that I’m Carter’s glabella. I don’t even know what that is.

  8. M.
    Posted February 5, 2014 at 11:36 am | Permalink

    Do I sense covert aggression in your tone, Erika?

  9. Posted February 5, 2014 at 12:40 pm | Permalink

    I’m glad the Christians have finally won the Creationism debate.

  10. Taco Farts
    Posted February 5, 2014 at 1:16 pm | Permalink

    I’m A4! What size of paper describes you best?

    I’m a broken hip! What common elderly ailment are you?

    I’m a Type 3! What form of stool from the Bristol Stool Chart are you most like?

  11. K2
    Posted February 5, 2014 at 1:30 pm | Permalink

    I’m 14 point Ariel Bold. What font are you?

  12. Posted February 5, 2014 at 1:46 pm | Permalink

    Which Mark Maynard Commenter Are You?

  13. anonymous
    Posted February 5, 2014 at 3:13 pm | Permalink

    It’s not just Buzzfeed anymore.

    http://imgur.com/RLy8w5p

  14. Knox
    Posted February 5, 2014 at 4:22 pm | Permalink

    Which kind of aggressive are you?

  15. EL
    Posted February 6, 2014 at 11:31 am | Permalink

    I can’t believe you got a whole foot if colon. Just got three inches, a little ways down from the anus.

  16. Bob
    Posted February 6, 2014 at 1:53 pm | Permalink

    Slow news day

  17. Tim
    Posted February 6, 2014 at 8:11 pm | Permalink

    There are only two types of people in this world, Pink Ladies and Jeffs.

  18. Mr. X
    Posted February 7, 2014 at 12:25 pm | Permalink

    Interestingly, there’s a new film built around the idea that all of humanity is divided into just five types. It’s called Divergent. I suppose it’s possible that the five types are Jerry, George, Elaine, Kramer and Newman.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sutgWjz10sM

  19. Stevo Doccerson
    Posted March 4, 2014 at 10:55 am | Permalink

    http://imgur.com/2CcHt41

  20. Peter Smith
    Posted March 4, 2014 at 11:00 am | Permalink

    http://imgur.com/nSwwbq5

  21. Eel
    Posted April 23, 2014 at 3:37 pm | Permalink

    Buzzfeed is upping their game in a big way.

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/shocking-pictures-that-prove-the-illuminati-is-all-around

  22. Eel
    Posted June 12, 2014 at 2:27 pm | Permalink

    It took them a while, but the Onion has jumped into the Buzzfeed mockery market as well with the launch of ClickHole.

    http://www.clickhole.com/

  23. Ypsi
    Posted July 4, 2014 at 1:41 pm | Permalink

    I saw this and was reminded of your post.

    http://i.imgur.com/a0ZYz8y.gif

  24. Posted July 29, 2015 at 12:07 am | Permalink

    I like Pink Lady.

  25. Anonymous
    Posted July 29, 2015 at 6:40 am | Permalink

    But not Jeff?

  26. Chi chris
    Posted July 30, 2015 at 1:10 pm | Permalink

    I’m sad. Like always. Oh yeah, and scared. I’m scared and sad.

5 Trackbacks

  1. […] can’t recall the specifics, but, in recognition of the important work I’ve done on this blog over the past decade, a well respected member of the United Nations […]

  2. […] week or so ago, in a post about how much I hate the Buzzfeed quizzes that are threatening to choke the life out of t…, I speculated that, in the future, we’ll likely arrive at a point where media companies […]

  3. […] promised, I’ve kept adding to my awesome social media quiz meme. Here’s my most recent contribution, followed by a number of others that have been sent to me […]

  4. By What kind of weasel are you? on March 4, 2015 at 9:58 pm

    […] working on the algorithm tonight for yet another Buzzfeed-like quiz that I’m hoping will take the internet by storm. There’s still a lot of work to be […]

  5. […] I know there should be a article to accompany this image, but I only have so much time per week to devote to meme parody. […]

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