Mark Maynard | Spy Kids

Cinco de Mayo

By Mark | May 5, 2010

In honor of Cinco de Mayo, I was planning to write something about the border with Mexico and my plans to protect it with a 2,000 mile long line of obese, patriotic, heavily armed Americans, fueled by Mountain Dew and fused to Freedom Couches, but I changed my mind. Instead, I’m going to rip off […]

Posted in Art and Culture, Other | Also tagged Cheech Marin, Cinco de Mayo, Danny Trejo, Desperado, Don Johnson, Electra Avellan, Elise Avellan, Freedom Couches, Grindhouse, Jeff Fahey, Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Machete, mexploitation, Michelle Rodriguez, people fused to couches, Quentin Tarantino, Robert De Niro, Robert Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, the border, the border with Mexico, The Crazy Babysitter Twins | 9 Comments

In a Plain Martha Wrapper

By Mark | August 19, 2002

Linette and I went to Borders yesterday. The plan was to stop in and buy a guidebook for Italy (where we dream of going, when we can afford it) and then to head over to Starbucks for a coffee (which we like to drink when we can afford it). When we first walked in to […]

Posted in Mark's Life, Media, Retail, sex | Also tagged 1932, 8th Circle of Hell, Amazon, Borders, Brown Jug Restaurant Line Cook convention, Charlie Sheen, clitoris the size of a standard index card, Cosmopolitan, Criterion Collection, Dockers, evolution of porn, Fritz Lang, Germany, hard-core porn, M, magnified to comic proportion, Martha Stewart, masturbation guard, movie review, National Geographic, paperback romance, Penthouse, Peter Lorre, Playboy, scanning for ex-girlfriends and physical, serial killers, Star Fleet, Star Trek, Starbucks, Start Trek the Next Generation, the canals of Mars, Wesley Crusher, Wil Wheaton, Xtreme Caligula | Leave a comment

Spy Kids and an Invasion of Privacy

By Mark | August 13, 2002

Linette and I went out for breakfast this morning and, over coffee and scrambled eggs, I mentioned that I had sent an email off to the woman whose name was on the prescription bottles I found in the backyard the other day. She let me know that she thought I fucked up. She said that […]

Posted in Art and Culture, Found Objects, Mark's Life, OCD, Other, Pop Culture | Also tagged Antonio Bandaras, infection, Melanie Griffith, Orson Welles, Penicillin, privacy, Ritalin, Robert Rodriguez, Steve Buscemi | Leave a comment

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