Cinco de Mayo

In honor of Cinco de Mayo, I was planning to write something about the border with Mexico and my plans to protect it with a 2,000 mile long line of obese, patriotic, heavily armed Americans, fueled by Mountain Dew and fused to Freedom Couches, but I changed my mind. Instead, I’m going to rip off a new thread on MetaFilter, and pass along this trailer for the Robert Rodriguez film Machete, starring the incomparable Danny Trejo.

Here, for those who need to know more, is a quote from Trejo about the film, lifted from a recent interview with AV Club:

…I play the Uncle Machete in Spy Kids. He’s the mysterious uncle with all the gadgets. He’s a scientist. But Machete, the movie Machete, Robert talked about when we were doing Desperado. He said, “I want to use you for this character…” He had that idea then. Then when we did the trailer to Machete, I said, “So this is going to happen?” He goes, “I think so.” So they put the trailer for Machete in Grindhouse. Then the trades said that Machete was the best thing in Grindhouse, that trailer. It was a really exciting trailer. The movie just got a mind of its own. It was unreal. You got Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Michelle Rodriguez, Don Johnson, Steven Seagal, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, and a couple of other people. The twins, the two twins that are in Grindhouse [Electra and Elise Avellan as The Crazy Babysitter Twins], are also in Machete. My son and daughter are in Machete. My two best friends are in Machete. It just kept on and on, and it’s an action-packed movie from start to finish. I think it’s a culmination of everything Robert Rodriguez has done…

And, here’s a link to that first Machete trailer (NSFW), which appeared in the intro to the Rodriguez, Tarantino collaboration, Grindhouse.

For those who don’t watch, the last line of the trailer is… “They just fucked with the wrong Mexican.”


I don’t think a full-length feature could ever live up to the trailer, but I thought that I’d pass it along as I very much love the idea that this bloody Mexploitation flick is so intertwined with the the innocent children’s franchise SpyKids.

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  1. Mike Shecket
    Posted May 5, 2010 at 11:25 pm | Permalink

    I think this solution from fourteen years ago is still the best and most mouth-watering.

  2. Barbara O' Brien
    Posted May 6, 2010 at 9:41 am | Permalink


    I just have a quick question for you but couldn’t find an email so had to resort to this. I am a progressive blogger. Please email me back at when you get a chance. Thanks.


  3. Larry Seven Larry
    Posted May 6, 2010 at 9:55 am | Permalink

    I love the idea of Machete hacking his way through obese American couch monsters to get into the U.S. It would make a great series.

  4. Mr. X
    Posted May 6, 2010 at 10:12 am | Permalink

    I’m trying to figure out if it’s a real movie.

    Based on this comment from Harry at Ain’t It Cool News, it is.

    Hey folks, Harry here and earlier today Robert Rodriguez and Danny Trejo dropped by my house with a package. Rodriguez is calling this his “Illegal” trailer. You see, Robert talked Fox into letting him put together a Cinco De Mayo message for ARIZONA – given. Well, the way things are in Arizona at this moment – it is kinda insane that there is a movie that was shot over a year ago waiting to be released that is about – THIS EXACT ISSUE… but if, Danny Trejo and buddies went Revolution Wacko as a result.

    Make no bones about it, this is a pure Mexploitation film, but like real exploitation at its height, that shit was pulled straight out of the headlines, even sometimes slightly before the headlines were the headlines. Frankly – that’s just kinda cool. We’ve all known about this silly fun project of Robert’s for a while, but then… an entire fucking state just goes fucking nuts… And us being Texans – we’re usually quite aware of the lunacy of our surroundings here. But really, ARIZONA… what the hell?

  5. Edward
    Posted May 6, 2010 at 10:54 am | Permalink

    “Introducing Don Johnson.” Great stuff. I can’t want to drink a few Tecates and go and see it. Mexican Americans need a hero.

  6. Milt Edwards
    Posted May 6, 2010 at 2:14 pm | Permalink

    Fuck. The trailer has been removed from the internets.

  7. Red Ted
    Posted May 6, 2010 at 3:58 pm | Permalink

    I’m not sure why it is that 24 disturbs me so, with it’s portrayals of torture, while I’m able to watch gleefully as Danny hacks off arms and lops off heads. I guess it’s the context and the editing. Anyway, I thought that it was worth noting.

  8. Posted May 6, 2010 at 5:44 pm | Permalink

    OK, I fixed the video. It should run now.

    And, for what it’s worth, I think Trejo should do some lobbying on Capital Hill, in character. I think that would be great.

  9. ytown
    Posted May 10, 2010 at 11:09 am | Permalink

    About time you post something interesting! This looks good, excellent cast!
    Thanks for the info., first I’ve heard of it.

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