A week or so ago, in a post about how much I despise the Buzzfeed quizzes that are slowly choking the life out of the internet, I speculated that, in the not too distant future, we’ll likely arrive at a point where media companies begin partnering with corporations to offer specialty quizzes intended to reinforce their brand identities. (In my example, I used a specific brand of cling peaches in heavy syrup, but it could really be anything.) And it got me thinking… As long as it’s inevitable, why don’t I do it and make all of the money for myself… So, with that in mind, I sent the following four panels to the Wendy’s corporation just now, with a suggestion that they buy me a first class ticket to Dublin, Ohio so that we can chew on cigars together and sketch out a campaign to take out Burger King. I’ll keep you posted, but I think this could be really huge. Who, after all, wouldn’t want to take a “Which Wendy’s Location Are You” quiz?
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I haven’t worked out all the questions for the “Which Wendy’s Location are You” quiz yet, but I think it’ll start with, “What’s your favorite state?” and then go from there, ultimately ending with something like, “Which do you like better, even numbered highway exits, or odd numbered ones?”
I got Veins. Which Wendy’s-themed work of fiction are you?
https://www.facebook.com/veinsbook
Does anyone else remember the Super Bar at Wendy’s? I miss the shit out of that thing.
Also, does anyone remember what the internet used to be like? It is easy to romanticize the past but it certainly has gotten a lot more commercial and full of stupid people. A few years ago I could watch a show virtually commercial free until the very end or beginning. Now I sit through shows with normal commercial breaks that often air the same ad five times in a row every break. It’s like they’re slowly beating advertising into my subconscious through repetition. And I have noticed a distinct increase in click bait and poor quality content as real news and objective journalism is vanishing. These quizzes are at the heart of something extremely dark but I’m not quite sure of what that is.
But one thing I CAN be sure of is that Buzzfeed quizzes, 1 like = 1 prayer, angry/dumb conspiracy people, rampant commercialism, celebrity culture, and reality television are ruining my life… on the internet.
Clara Peller, the old woman who said “Where’s the Beef,” lost that gig in 1985 after appearing in a commercial for Prego spaghetti sauce in which she said that she’d “finally found” the beef.
As for these quizzes, I suspect that there’s already corporate money behind some of them, like “What Character of Orange is the New Black are You?” It just hasn’t gotten to consumer products yet…… “What Model Maytag Washer are You?”
“You’re New Coke. You tried to recreate yourself and failed miserably. You are a failure. You are a cautionary tale to others as to the dangers of hubris.”
The internet will only continue to get better as we increase the influence of corporations.
I got Exploding Heary Dave Thomas, which sucks as I wanted Unloved Orphan Dave Thomas.
Do you know Project Gold Hamburger?
Read more:
http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/money/industries/food/story/2011-09-19/wendys-new-burgers/50462530/1