My friend Dan just called from Minneapolis. He’s lonely. He’s sitting at home, sad, alone, in the dark, surrounded by candles, dressed like Edgar Allan Poe, and waiting for trick-or-treaters to ring his bell. So, this goes out to him.
I’m not in costume today. I was yesterday, though. I went to work as Richard Heene, psyience detective – the father of Balloon Boy. I basically looked like myself, but with my hair parted in the middle. And I tried to keep more of a pained look than ususal on my face.
I didn’t tell people who I was. People would ask, and just I’d point up, without saying anything, into the corner of my office, where a silver mylar balloon shaped like a UFO was pinned to a ceiling tile.
And that’s how I spent my day.
The balloon got popped, though, so today I’m back to being myself again. I’d like to say that it feels good, but I’m falling apart again. My back is going back out. And something popped in my eye, so it’s filling back up with blood. I guess you could call it a Halloween miracle. Within just a few hours, I’ve transformed into a monstrous, contorted freak with blood filled eyes.
I don’t want to scare kids though. So, right now, instead of being out on the street, I’m curled up on the couch in my tattered long johns, watching the movie Halloween dubbed in German, and wondering whether or not I should write another letter to PJ Soles.