In Hasan’s bedroom

Last night, one thing led to another, and, like so many co-eds before me, I ended up above Woodruff’s, in the bedroom of Hasan O’Shea.* Fortunately, cub reporter Patrick Elkins was on had to capture the excitement.

And, yeah, I drank too much. That’s what happens, I guess, when you run into Patrick at 6:00 and decide to head over to Powell’s for “one drink.” And, yeah, I know that I ruined Patrick’s interview by obsessing on the absence of damned light switches in Hasan’s room, but I couldn’t help myself. My OCD took over.

[*O’Shea in not Hasan’s real last name. If I used his real last name, though, this could be found my his family in Jordan.]

This entry was posted in Mark's Life, OCD, Other, sex, Uncategorized, Ypsilanti and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.


  1. b
    Posted September 18, 2011 at 7:58 am | Permalink

    can’t a guy get a nap? i am surprised how docile Hasan is; turning on the lights when sleeping would not have gone well with me….
    p.s. where does one get a dream TV?

  2. C.R.E.
    Posted September 18, 2011 at 8:20 am | Permalink

    excellent guerrilla reporting. Ive often wondered what happens in that room considering im usually drugged by Hasan before getting dragged in there. Ive never been able to find the light switches either.

  3. Wolverine Law
    Posted September 18, 2011 at 8:33 am | Permalink

    Do not destroy this video. I think Hasan may have a good legal case against the both of you.

  4. Posted September 18, 2011 at 12:11 pm | Permalink

    I don’t know that we broke any laws. We were invited into the apartment by Hasan’s significant other, Andy Garris, and, before entering into the inner sanctum, we knocked and gave Hasan a few seconds to stop doing whatever he’d been doing, and pretend to be asleep. I think, legally speaking, we’re in the clear.

    Also, I didn’t mention it, but the new veggie corndogs on the menu at Woodruff’s are really good.

  5. Posted September 18, 2011 at 12:12 pm | Permalink

    And, if we did do anything illegal, I think it’s important to point out that Patrick entered first, and had a gun pointed at me the entire time.

  6. hot single lady
    Posted September 18, 2011 at 4:46 pm | Permalink

    I always imagined Hasan sleeping naked on on the pelt of a polar bear, in front of a roaring fire.

  7. dragon
    Posted September 18, 2011 at 6:48 pm | Permalink

    Substitute Charles Nelson Reilly for Tom Cruise and this would be a horrible scene from Rain man II.

  8. Eel
    Posted September 18, 2011 at 6:48 pm | Permalink

    I imagine him sleeping on a tear-stained pillow, sobbing about Andy, surrounded by empty fudge boxes and candy wrappers.

  9. Posted September 18, 2011 at 9:05 pm | Permalink

    “How does your room work?”

  10. gary
    Posted September 19, 2011 at 8:04 am | Permalink

    does this make mark a chickenhawk now?

  11. Eel
    Posted September 19, 2011 at 8:12 am | Permalink

    ICP: “Rooms, How Do They Work?”

  12. Posted September 19, 2011 at 10:32 am | Permalink

    I eagerly wait inevitable rebuttal:

    Also: kudos for going Green

  13. anthony anonymous
    Posted September 19, 2011 at 11:35 am | Permalink

    hasan is pretty docile.
    the fireplace/bear pelt is in andy’s room.
    and that was a squirtgun mark.

  14. Mr. X
    Posted September 19, 2011 at 12:56 pm | Permalink

    Hasan paid Mark to do this. The whole thing was scripted. He just wants people talking about his bedroom and what takes place there. It’s all part of his plan to seduce every woman between the ages of 18 and 57 in Ypsilanti.

  15. Jules
    Posted September 20, 2011 at 1:35 pm | Permalink

    Ages 18 to 57? You mean I have a shot? Wheeeee, awright, cuz he’s a cute lil’ fucker.

  16. Anonymous
    Posted September 20, 2011 at 1:49 pm | Permalink

    You’re use of the adjective “lil'” could not be more appropriate.

  17. 56 year old
    Posted September 22, 2011 at 11:28 am | Permalink

    You know who else didn’t have lights in his bedroom?

  18. notoneofthecoolkids
    Posted September 22, 2011 at 2:25 pm | Permalink

    unGetting drunk is so much fun! An legal!

  19. Snowden
    Posted June 18, 2013 at 2:33 pm | Permalink

    This is the best thing I saw when I was at the NSA.

4 Trackbacks

  1. By Anthony Gentile on YpsiFest on September 21, 2011 at 9:17 pm

    […] If we can’t have bands perform in Hasan’s bedroom, could we maybe make the stage up to look like Hasan’s bedroom for the duration of the […]

  2. […] ultimately to blame, as, not too long ago, after a few too many drinks at Woodruff’s, I introduced Patrick as a staff member, but I still find his behavior here to be reprehensible, even by Ypsilanti standards… At any […]

  3. […] As I’m not a homosexual, I think this scenario is unlikely. But, then again, there is footage on the internet of me in bed with a large Jordanian bartender. Regardless, though, if someone had wanted to expose me as gay, I think that they would have chosen […]

  4. […] OK, I know I said I wasn’t going to try to thank everyone, but what the hell… Thanks to Keelan for the screen printing. Thanks to WCBN and M-Live for covering the event. Thanks to Moonhairy, Laserbeams of Boredom, Minus 9, Glass Clue, Shells & Fred Thomas, Thom Elliott and Izzy Johnson for contributing their significant talents. Thanks to Steve Gross for being an awesome auctioneer. Thanks to Sidetrack for their generosity. Thanks to Safety Girl, Cre Fuller, Nightshade Army Industries, Mighty Good Coffee, Jessica French, and everyone else, for their significant contributions to the auction. Thanks to everyone who bid. Thanks to Community Rebirth for the live painting. Thanks to the folks at Beezy’s, Encore Records and Woodruff’s for pre-selling tickets to the event. Thanks to Jennifer Scroggins for setting up the Fundrazr page, which has already brought in over $2,000. Thanks to everyone who has already given online, and to those of you who will follow in their footsteps. (We’re keeping the page up until the end of the month, so tell your friends.) Thanks to Ian Fulcher for being our master of ceremonies. Thanks to the DJs who spun records between bands. Thanks to Patrick, who gave us all an excuse to come out and do something meaningful for a change. Thanks to VG Kids for designing the posters and doing all of our printing. And thanks to Hasan for allowing us to take over Woodruff’s, in spite of the fact that Patrick and I once jumped into his bed with a video camera. […]

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