Last night, as we set out to relocate this site at its new home in the upper atmosphere, I told you that you could take 48 hours off. I had been told, by our technical team, that the migration would likely take that long, and, during that time, the site would be completely dead. As it turns out, it didn’t take anywhere near that long. I think the site was down for about 10 hours altogether. I attribute the incredible speed to the fact that our technical team isn’t paid by the hour. In fact, in truly modern American fashion, they aren’t paid at all. And, to be honest, it’s not really a “they” so much as it is one guy. His name is Andre, and, up until he was selected to head the technical team here at MarkMaynard.com, he was just a reader, like you. It’s an incredible story, really. Some day, if I ever get the money together, I think I’d like to make it into an after school special about Andre. I think it’s important for kids to know that, if they apply themselves, someday they might be selected to enable the online musings of a sad, middle-aged man well into the process of becoming one with his couch… Kids, it’s my belief, need to have hope. Like the song says, “without hope, life is meaningless,” right?
As for this young Horatio Anger protagonist come-to-life, who I know simple as Andre (He still refuses to give me his last name), I plan to buy him a beer tomorrow night. Without him, this site would have collapsed under the weight of my ineptitude long ago. Anyway, I just thought that I should mention it here. Sorry if, by doing so, I ruin the illusion you have of this operation being a one-man-show. The truth is, we’ve now got about half a dozen people on the team. Most of them, it’s true, are worthless animatronic alcoholics purchased from the estate of Anton LeVey, but, together, we’re more than the sum of our pulsating, booze-sticky parts. (I had to purchase LeVey’s robots, as my other robot, Patrick Elkins, which I’d created years ago by hot gluing a found beard onto the beloved electronic daughter of my mentor, Ted Lawson, had become terribly lonely and despondent since the breakup of Manhole.)
As for migrating this site to the cloud, I’m not really sure what that means. I just kept getting emails from the company that hosts this site, telling me that, if I didn’t get my ass on the cloud soon, everything would start to fall apart. I, of course, ignored them, choosing instead to focus my attention on the nipples of Nancy Grace, and the like. Fortunately for us all, though, Andre was there, just waiting for an opportunity to embrace his destiny.
There are a million things that I should be writing about tonight, but, for some reason, I’d rather just ramble on and on about nonsense… Oh, speaking of which, how did you like the way I kind of wove together the fact that the site went dark, our migration to the cloud, and Lord Voldermort’s “dark mark” in the image at the top of the post? Pretty clever, right?
Speaking of clever… and this is isn’t really related to anything… I saw a brilliant video a few days ago of a group in San Francisco that does guerilla grafting. (They graft the limbs of fruit-bearing trees onto the trunks of public, non-fruit-bearing trees, so that those without food might be able to eat.) Here it is.
I’ve tried grafting on a few occasions, and I’ve never been successful at it. Maybe, one of these days, we could have a community workshop on grafting or something. It’s been a long time since I’ve talked with Lisa Bashert about it, but, as I recall, when we served on Ypsi’s 2020 Task Force together, she advocated for the planting of fruit and nut trees all over the City, with the same objective in mind. I’m not sure if she’s yet had an opportunity to act on it, but I still think it’s a great idea. And, judging from sites like Neighborhood Fruit, which set out to map all the fruit and nut trees on public land, the idea is catching on…
OK, I know I said that you’d have tonight off, but I really would appreciate it if you could leave some kind of comment today, on any subject that interests you. It just feels right to me today to ramble and make obscure connections, and I’d love to have you join me in that process.