There’s a way out of Ypsi… for those deemed worthy

I’ve been asked not to divulge the location, but a portal has been found in Ypsilanti. To my knowledge, no one has yet attempted to pass through it. Someone, however, did vandalize it. The accompanying plaque (pictured below), which was affixed to a concrete post about 100 yards west of the portal, appears to have been stolen. The following images come curtesy of Andrew Jason Clock.

ypsiportala1

portalplaqueb1

portalplaquec

Now I’m sitting here, wondering if this might somehow be related to that bag of guts found on Water Street not too long ago. I wonder if perhaps someone tried to cross through the portal, and something went horribly wrong, like that time when Canadian scientist Andre Delambre accidentally let a fly into his matter transporter device. Maybe, I’m thinking, someone tried to pass through the portal carrying a sack of tripe and chorizo from Dos Hermanos or something.

Oh, and I guess it could also be related to that time in 2006 when the Vaal tried to establish a foothold in Ypsilanti.

Or, here’s an even better idea… What if this portal was placed here by the Governor? What if this is how he intends to send our Emergency Financial Manager? Maybe we should seal it shut, or uproot it and put it at the bottom of Ford Lake…

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16 Comments

  1. Edward
    Posted May 1, 2011 at 9:58 pm | Permalink

    It could have been the city that took the plaque. I know that it was city employees who removed the Smeet plaque that used to be in Riverside Park.

  2. Elf
    Posted May 1, 2011 at 10:50 pm | Permalink

    Bad things can happen in portals.

    http://i.imgur.com/zMsRR.jpg

  3. Mr. X
    Posted May 1, 2011 at 11:16 pm | Permalink

    I find it odd that Osama will killed just shortly after this door was found.

  4. Boy O Boy
    Posted May 2, 2011 at 12:04 am | Permalink

    Stolen? Who did it “belong” to? I left a half eaten can of Pringles in Candycane park last year and now they’re gone! Looks like we need to start a government task force to track down the people taking things left in parks?!!

  5. Nelson Reilly III
    Posted May 2, 2011 at 12:29 am | Permalink

    I lost my virginity at Riverside Park.
    Twice.

  6. wetdolphinmissile
    Posted May 2, 2011 at 7:20 am | Permalink

    u litter bug Boy!

  7. Edward
    Posted May 2, 2011 at 8:20 am | Permalink

    Elf, your picture gives me an idea. How about a Human centipede made from EOS, Taters and Boy O? I’d contribute $100, and I’m sure we could find an unethical surgeon somewhere who would do it for us. We could keep the creature on Water Street, in a cage.

    The plaque is wonderful. I wonder if the whole thing was put together by the guy who did the smeet stuff.

  8. Time Bandit
    Posted May 2, 2011 at 10:10 am | Permalink

    Please tell me where this is. I need to find it today.

  9. Chaely
    Posted May 2, 2011 at 11:32 am | Permalink

    I know who built/installed it. Different guy from the Smeet stuff.

  10. Posted May 2, 2011 at 12:56 pm | Permalink

    I passed through the Ypsi portal and ended up in the Caribbean. Pretty crazy trip.

  11. Redleg
    Posted May 2, 2011 at 5:52 pm | Permalink

    When I was a lad, I’d try and “pray” myself to Barsoom– Like John Carter of Mars. It never worked for me though. No hot Martian babes, no green Thark warrior for a pal, no shining city of Helium. Sigh.

  12. Posted May 3, 2011 at 8:54 pm | Permalink

    “affixed to a concrete post about 100 years west of the portal,”

    The typo makes this even better…

  13. dragon
    Posted May 3, 2011 at 10:19 pm | Permalink

    Thanks for adding the period Murph(.)

    I had always kind of assumed Murph was an abbreviation for Murphy but now it is confirmed.
    Again, Thanks!

  14. Michael Carabini
    Posted May 4, 2011 at 2:46 am | Permalink

    Are those Segway tracks I see leading up to the door?

  15. Atom
    Posted October 17, 2011 at 2:45 pm | Permalink

    The man who made this portal is no man at all but a god in the midst of a mans world

  16. PrincessTinyMeat
    Posted October 29, 2014 at 12:25 am | Permalink

    Are you the one who found the ear?

3 Trackbacks

  1. By Ypsi/Arbor exit interview: Casey Dixon on October 16, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    […] If nothing else, I think you may find that it shines a little light on the origins of that mysterious portal that appeared temporarily on Water Street this last spring. MARK: What’s your name, and […]

  2. […] in the ground with U-M Natural Resources PhD student Ben Connor Barrie, and talking art with local sculptor Casey Dixon, who, by the way, is in the process of developing a new piece for our community […]

  3. By A portal to Hell to be opened on Water Street on October 27, 2014 at 9:02 pm

    […] not certain, but I suspect it might have something to do with the gateway between dimensions that was discovered in […]

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