An anonymous text warns that a portal to Hell is going to be opened in Ypsilanti on Sunday. Please plan accordingly.

I just received the following text from a number that I don’t recognize, and I’m not sure what to make of it.


Should I take this seriously? Should I report it to someone?

I’m not certain, but I suspect it might have something to do with the gateway between dimensions that was first discovered back in 2011.

update: OK, there are now posters showing up around town.


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  1. Elviscostello
    Posted October 28, 2014 at 1:07 am | Permalink

    What the hell? Let’s all go see!

  2. anonymous
    Posted October 28, 2014 at 7:31 am | Permalink

    The logical thing to do would be to get out of town on Sunday, but, what the hell. Maybe I’ll wonder down there and see what’s going on.

  3. Bob
    Posted October 28, 2014 at 8:13 am | Permalink

    Patrick Elkins record drop, me thinks.

  4. Laura
    Posted October 28, 2014 at 8:15 am | Permalink

    The Dollar Store Grand Opening?

  5. Eel
    Posted October 28, 2014 at 8:16 am | Permalink

    A giant pit full of U2 records.

  6. idea man
    Posted October 28, 2014 at 8:30 am | Permalink

    Breaking ground for the new plasma center / check cashing store?

  7. Elf
    Posted October 28, 2014 at 9:02 am | Permalink

    Be sure to take your kids and watch them do this.

  8. Curt Spartacus Waugh
    Posted October 28, 2014 at 9:04 am | Permalink

    All I want to know is which portal to hell did MLive endorse?

  9. Lynne
    Posted October 28, 2014 at 9:39 am | Permalink

    It seems like a lot of trouble to open a portal in Ypsilanti just to go to Hell. You know that you can get there simply by driving west on I-94 and then going through Dexter and past the Pinckney Rec Area, right?

  10. Anonymatt
    Posted October 28, 2014 at 10:23 am | Permalink

    I hope no one embarrasses the community by smearing poop on the portal to Hell.

  11. Anonymous
    Posted October 28, 2014 at 10:25 am | Permalink

    Can a last minute write-in campaign for Steve Pierce be far behind?

  12. Tommy
    Posted October 28, 2014 at 11:58 am | Permalink

    For some reason I want to watch Donnie Darko and Safety Not Guaranteed tonight

  13. Robert Davis
    Posted October 28, 2014 at 1:22 pm | Permalink


  14. Posted October 28, 2014 at 8:27 pm | Permalink

    OK, things are beginning to come into focus. And I was apparently right about a connection with the 2011 portal. The following just showed up on the Book of Faces.

    Come to the Water Street Commons in Ypsilanti this Sunday, November 2, for a free, all-ages, haunted sculpture park walk from 6-9:00 p.m.!

    Conflicting rumors about the event have been circulating, but this much is known: in May of 2011, a portal to another dimension was discovered by rouge explorers in Ypsilanti. A recent investigation by an amateur ornithologist revealed that the gateway may actually be a door to Hell. In the interest of further research, the portal will be opened for the first time this Sunday, November 2 at 6:00 p.m. As many terrifying demonic beasts and demons are expected to emerge and haunt the public commons until they get sleepy (around 9:00 p.m.) and such an event would be of great interest to the public, all curious parties are encouraged to assemble in the parking lot on the south end of the corner of Michigan Avenue and River Street, where further instructions for passage through the commons may be attained.

  15. Posted October 29, 2014 at 4:24 pm | Permalink


  16. wobblie
    Posted October 30, 2014 at 4:18 pm | Permalink

    well I think that explains what happened to our tank on Michigan Ave. It simply vanished some time on Tuesday.

  17. blueeyedpupil
    Posted October 30, 2014 at 10:53 pm | Permalink

    Where on the property is this event going to take place. Im concerned that the rain and poss snow will make navigation with my scooter difficult. A Hint on exact location would help

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