“Trade wars are good, and easy to win”

Donald Trump, who, not too long ago, said “trade wars are good, and easy to win,” this past Friday announced his intention of starting a legitimate trade war with China, saying that he had given word to increase tariffs on $200 billion worth of Chinese goods to as much as 25%. Well, today, China’s Finance Ministry announced that, in response, they would be raising tariffs on a wide range of imported American goods from 10% to somewhere between 20 to 25%. This increase, according to the New York Times, “will affect the roughly $60 billion in American imports… including beer, wine, swimsuits, shirts and liquefied natural gas…

Trump, who once referred to himself as a “Tariff Man,” has repeatedly assured the American people that, if we followed him down this path, we’d be rewarded financially. Tariffs, he said, would “MAKE AMERICA RICH AGAIN.” And the down side, he said, would be minimal, as the costs of these tariffs would not be passed along to American consumers. Sadly, though, at least according to economists, he’s wrong on both counts. And the American financial markets are starting to drop as a result.

Today, U.S. financial markets had their biggest decline of 2019, with the S&P 500 dropping by 2.4%, and the Nasdaq composite index falling by 3.4%. [Who could have predicted that putting the world’s largest economy in the hands of one of America’s most thoroughly incompetent businessmen might lead to less than optimal results?]

If I were Trump, I think I’d be a little less inclined to meddle with the economy, seeing as how it’s probably the only thing standing between him and impeachment… but, what the fuck do I know.

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  1. John Brown
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 7:01 am | Permalink

    Soybeans hit lowest price in a decade. Way below the cost of production at this level. Womp womp.


  2. Sad
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 7:40 am | Permalink

    Turns out the biggest beneficiaries of globalism are farmers in America’s heartland.

    Whining about their soybeans and pecans.

    I hope HW will start eating more pecans to do his part to help them.

  3. Hyborian Warlord
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 8:51 am | Permalink

    Whoah, it could be the first extinction-level event with no casualties. Millions of soyboys magically turning back to how they are supposed to be overnight. With the lower estrogen levels maybe they will even be able to grow some balls.

  4. Hyborian Warlord
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 9:17 am | Permalink

    [link to twitter.com (secure)]

    Donald J. Trump
    Verified account @realDonaldTrump

    In one year Tariffs have rebuilt our Steel Industry – it is booming! We placed a 25% Tariff on “dumped” steel from China & other countries, and we now have a big and growing industry. We had to save Steel for our defense and auto industries, both of which are coming back strong!
    3:15 AM – 14 May 2019

  5. Bob
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 9:58 am | Permalink

    US steel is coming back? Like the six new steel Mills Trump lied were being built here?

  6. John Brown
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 10:00 am | Permalink

    One year ago United States Steel stock price was $36.30, whereas now thanks to our ruskie stooge saboteur, its down to $15.01. Apparently, thats “booming” in trumpspeak.

  7. Jonathan Allen by proxy
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 10:04 am | Permalink

    Wow! An American president just urged Americans to stop buying products from American companies like John Deere, Caterpillar and Ford. The argument is you should avoid the cost of tariffs by picking companies without facilities in China. But wow. Deere. Ford. Caterpillar


  8. Anonymous
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 10:06 am | Permalink

    Trump is going to try to bribe the soybean farmers hurt by his “Tariff Man” act.

    From Think Progress:

    “Kudlow promised there would be additional bailouts for the farmers who are ravaged by the trade war, but there is currently no relief in sight. The Trump administration announced an original $12 billion bailout for farmers last year, but it’s unclear that the funding has actually reached them. It’s likewise unclear whether more bailouts would compensate for the additional burdens they might now face purchasing the equipment they require to run their farms.”

  9. Hyborian Pudlord
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 10:06 am | Permalink

    These tariffs are Donald’s new toy
    He says “fuck those farmers of soy”
    Great news about the comeback of steel
    On that Brooklyn bridge I’ll give you a deal
    While Warlord strokes his lil’ carrot of joy

  10. Hyborian Warlord
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 10:15 am | Permalink

    I don’t know what’s up with six new mills but boom, baby:


    It’s working. Now we can have our own high quality steel and not be dependent on substandard foreign steel.

  11. Hyborian Warlord
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 10:21 am | Permalink

    Yay, it’s creepy limerick boy. The one who oozes degrading sexual comments about me like pus. You give me the fuckin’ WILLIES, dude. To you that’s a success since that is all you’ve got. Congratulations, you are creepy as shit.

  12. Dogmatic Dolt
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 10:21 am | Permalink

    aloha, I know I am a dolt but it seems to me that the most important issue today and every day is that it is 90 degrees today north of the Arctic circle.

  13. Hyborian Warlord
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 10:32 am | Permalink

    Read it again. It says the high temp should be in the mid to upper 20’s. 29C is 84.2F. Not quite in the 90’s but still extremely hot. What is causing it?

  14. Dogmatic Dolt
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 10:41 am | Permalink

    Aloha HW, I’m sorry it says 31c which equals 87.8 F. Global climate catastrophe, you know that Chinese conspiracy our Leader talks about.

  15. Hyborian Warlord
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 10:46 am | Permalink

    No, wobblie. You have to pay attention to what you are reading. The difference between the high temp and that spot and a spot not to far from there is 31C. High temp in the mid to upper 20’s.

  16. Hyborian Warlord
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 10:47 am | Permalink

    The difference between the high temp *at* that spot

  17. Hyborian Warlord
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 10:58 am | Permalink

    “The contrast between temperature anomalies will be up to 30-35 °C’

    How are you not able to understand that? This kind of thing has happened over and over here but the ones who make these kinds of mistakes call me an idiot. The idiot takes it for granted people can understand simple information but some don’t seem to be able to do that. Huh.

  18. Donald Trump weighs in
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 11:19 am | Permalink

    “Our great Patriot Farmers will be one of the biggest beneficiaries of what is happening now. Hopefully China will do us the honor of continuing to buy our great farm product, the best, but if not your Country will be making up the difference based on a very high China buy……”

  19. Hyborian Pudlord
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 12:50 pm | Permalink

    Warlord says everything’s fine
    You liberals just love to whine
    The climate sounds better in Celsius
    My masturbation routine is the healthiest
    My crusty tubesock is my true love divine

  20. Jean Henry
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 5:38 pm | Permalink

    What is more tragically plain than climate denialism at this point? All you are doing HW is demonstrating how immune you are to reality when it does not suit your politics.

    If it turns out you are wrong about climate change, what would it take to convince you?

    Truly curious.

    PS the weather is not the climate.

  21. Hyborian Warlord
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 7:14 pm | Permalink

    How is deforestation not a way bigger cause of climate change than emissions? We know for a fact desertification affects climate. It’s self-evident. Human CO2 emissions causing things like anomalies in the Arctic is just a theory.

    You are a denialist of things that don’t fit your narrative. See how you refuse to talk about NXIVM and it’s relationship with the Clinton’s for example. Regarding climate change you denied the factual things I said about it. How for the last 2+ million years there has been a pattern of glaciation and inter-glacial periods and how if the pattern holds we are overdue for an Ice Age. Using your own source I showed how some climatologists believe elevated CO2 is potentially staving off a massive cool-down. Certainly the scientific models that the Observer referred to in their climate doom piece circa 2001 have been totally wrong. Weather over time is in fact a large part of climate. If the weather over twenty years got cooler and wetter on average then you wouldn’t say the climate got hotter and drier.

  22. Dogmatic Dolt
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 7:43 pm | Permalink

    Aloha HW, Thanks for straighten me out I am glad to know that “In absolute terms, daytime highs in the mid to upper 20s (mid 80’s for dolts like me) are expected on Sunday (May 12th) as far north as parts of the Nenets Autonomous Okrug, up to about 66° N, just below the Arctic circle! Meanwhile, daytime highs may plunge as low as only 7-8 °C (44F) across parts of Hungary, Croatia and the surroundings at about 46 °N. That is a ~20 °C difference across 20° in latitude, with the northern locations being warmer!” Is nothing to worry about.

  23. Hyborian Warlord
    Posted May 14, 2019 at 8:04 pm | Permalink

    See, I didn’t say it’s nothing to worry about. Read what I said.

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