Presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee thinks that America’s teachers are putting kids, and the very future of our nation, at risk. Our young people, according to Huckabee, aren’t reaching their full potential, and it has everything to do what he calls “the ‘blame America first’ attitude prevalent in today’s teaching.” Apparently, our teachers are focusing too much on facts, and not enough on perpetuating the myth of American exceptionalism. And, Huckabee is launching a video series to set things right. The kids’ series, which parents and fearful Tea Partying grandparents can subscribe to for about $15 per month, is called Learn Our History, and features a multi-cultural band of kids that travel though history, witnessing the greatest moments of Republican triumph firsthand. (Imagine Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, but with much lower production values, and much less strenuous fact-checking.)
The idea, it would seem, would be to show kids really poorly done cartoons of historic events, and then tell them that, regardless of what they might have read in books, what they’ve just seen unfold in what looks like pre-Flintstones-era animation, was in fact closer to the truth. Following, on this subject, is an exchange between two time traveling kids in an episode entitled, The Origins of World War II.
GIRL 1: “What we see and hear isn’t always the same as what we read in books, or see on TV.”
GIRL 2: “So what? We know the truth. And that’s good enough for us.”
And that should be good enough for you, too… right?
Here’s a clip from the episode on Reagan. (I’m guessing that it leaves out the fact that he raised taxes, spoke of a day without nuclear weapons, and traded arms for hostages in violation of the U.S. Constitution.)
“Reagan believes we can do anything,” says one of the girls. “We just have to get the government out of the way!”
That’s right… Just think how great society would be without the Environmental Protection Agency and social security slowing us down.
And I love how they included the little jab at Jimmy Carter at the end. I’m glad that being “unbiased” and “non-partisan,” didn’t keep them from adding that. I just wish that they’d gone a little farther and shown Carter as the sniveling little coward that he really was, clinging to his wife’s apron strings, and wetting his pants before the majesty of Ronald Reagan.
Personally, I hope this catches on, and Huckabee launches an in-school education network that can replace teachers and their un-American agendas altogether. Just think of the cost savings that could be had. We could easily pack 100 kids in a classroom, under the supervision of a single armed guard making minimum wage, and play these videos all day long. And, better yet, maybe the kids could sort medical waste as they watched.
[note: I know it might sound a little self-serving, but I hope that Huckabee, once he's covered all the high points of Republican history, takes the opportunity to help out his son by creating an episode about that time he valiantly tried to rescue that dog.]
update: Perhaps because of this post, Hucakbee just announced that he will not be running for President in 2012.