Hypocrisy Watch: Mark Souder edition

Eight-term Republican congressman from Indiana, Mark Souder, announced today that he’d be resigning his office come Friday. Saying that he had, “sinned against God,” the family values-preaching, evangelical Christian, father of three, cited “the poisonous environment of Washington, D.C.,” for his decision. Of course, he neglected to mention that he, as one who had aggressively called for Clinton to resign after having received a blowjob from an intern, is partially responsible for said environment.

And, again, we have a Republican caught doing exactly what he publicly fought against… Oh, I forgot to tell you what he did… He was caught fucking a much younger female staff member, behind the back of his wife. And it wasn’t just any staff member – it was Tracy Jackson, the staff member with whom he’d made this entertaining little video on the subject of abstinence only education.

I realize that the guy was probably in a loveless marriage, and I don’t begrudge him his happiness. All I ask is that, if you want to fuck people other than your wife, you not make it a habit of telling other people why they shouldn’t do the same, or, worse yet, try to legislate it. If you’re going to travel across the U.S., yelling about “traditional marriage,” then at least have the common decency to practice what you preach. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

All that stuff aside, though, how incredibly hot would it be to have sex with someone much younger, and much more attractive than yourself, after she grilled you in front of a room full of people about your views about abstinence?

And, while we’re on the subject, at what point should we just start assuming that every Republican who publicly claims to be outraged by something, is, behind the scenes, ejaculating wildly to thoughts of exactly that thing? From Strom Thurman, the segregation-loving Senator who fathered a black child out of wedlock, to Mark Foley, the Chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children, who liked to send sex-filled, homoerotic emails to his young, male pages, it always seems like the ones most obsessed with an issue are those who would most like to find themselves, naked, beneath a pile of people doing it.

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  1. Posted May 18, 2010 at 9:08 pm | Permalink

    Watching the video, I’m kind of reminded, for some reason, of Frank Burns and Hot Lips Houlihan on M*A*S*H.

  2. mSS
    Posted May 18, 2010 at 9:43 pm | Permalink

    You should dedicate this post to the heroic Larry Flynt.

  3. Robert
    Posted May 19, 2010 at 6:15 am | Permalink

    Watching the video I can see why Tracy Jackson found this guy so irresistible. Ugly, boring, old guys droning on and on about things they don’t really care about can be such a turn on.

  4. Knox
    Posted May 19, 2010 at 6:50 am | Permalink

    I’d like to think that this was the day they consummated their relationship?

  5. Fredly Kanpotomus
    Posted May 19, 2010 at 7:05 am | Permalink

    The sexual chemistry on this video is absolutely incendiary.

    It’s taking every ounce of self control that I have not to ejaculate.

  6. Anonymatt
    Posted May 19, 2010 at 8:58 am | Permalink

    Technically, Clinton didn’t receive oral sex from an intern. ML had a regular job by the time the affair started.

  7. Edward
    Posted May 19, 2010 at 9:26 am | Permalink

    She had a regular job, giving extraordinary jobs.

    And I like him blaming the poisonous environment in Washington. Absolutely laughable.

  8. Kevin
    Posted May 19, 2010 at 9:42 am | Permalink

    I’m one of the straightest men that I know. I’m, what you’d called a skilled cocksman, and I have been for about 40 years now. Believe me, I could tell you stories. But, I’ve got to admit, when I look at Souder, I feel something. It’s pure animal magnetism. I haven’t felt that from a man since I had the occasion to meet a young Pat Buchanan.

  9. Michael
    Posted May 19, 2010 at 10:37 am | Permalink

    he’s not wearing any pants.

  10. Robert
    Posted May 19, 2010 at 11:05 am | Permalink

    Tracy Jackson sort of has that Mary Kay Letourneau look about her that I love so much. I think Souder did the right thing by ballin’ her. Why not? His life is a sham. His politics and career are a hoax. They’re all worthless. Of course it’s makes sense to trade all that junk away for a hook up with a doll like Jackson. I’d have done it too, in a heartbeat.

    Plus this proves he’s not a closeted homosexual pedophile like the rest of the Republicans in congress.

  11. LT
    Posted May 19, 2010 at 12:28 pm | Permalink

    Word is that they fucked in state parks.

  12. Peter Larson
    Posted May 19, 2010 at 12:36 pm | Permalink

    At least the Tea Party is there to save us.

  13. Peter Larson
    Posted May 19, 2010 at 1:33 pm | Permalink

    Seriously though, what could this woman possibly find attractive in this troglodyte?

  14. Jeannette Gutierrez
    Posted May 19, 2010 at 4:07 pm | Permalink

    Wow, what did she see in him?

    His looks? His integrity? His steadfast commitment to the principles of his faith? His courage to live according to the beliefs he champions? His touching loyalty to his wife and family?

    So may things to admire about the guy.

    Is she going to blow the homeless guy with the sign by the freeway next?

    (Apologies to the homeless guy for the comparison.)

  15. Robert
    Posted May 20, 2010 at 5:47 am | Permalink

    Jeannette Gutierrez, I think it’s safe to say Tracy’s got issues.

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