Eight-term Republican congressman from Indiana, Mark Souder, announced today that he’d be resigning his office come Friday. Saying that he had, “sinned against God,” the family values-preaching, evangelical Christian, father of three, cited “the poisonous environment of Washington, D.C.,” for his decision. Of course, he neglected to mention that he, as one who had aggressively called for Clinton to resign after having received a blowjob from an intern, is partially responsible for said environment.
And, again, we have a Republican caught doing exactly what he publicly fought against… Oh, I forgot to tell you what he did… He was caught fucking a much younger female staff member, behind the back of his wife. And it wasn’t just any staff member – it was Tracy Jackson, the staff member with whom he’d made this entertaining little video on the subject of abstinence only education.
I realize that the guy was probably in a loveless marriage, and I don’t begrudge him his happiness. All I ask is that, if you want to fuck people other than your wife, you not make it a habit of telling other people why they shouldn’t do the same, or, worse yet, try to legislate it. If you’re going to travel across the U.S., yelling about “traditional marriage,” then at least have the common decency to practice what you preach. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
All that stuff aside, though, how incredibly hot would it be to have sex with someone much younger, and much more attractive than yourself, after she grilled you in front of a room full of people about your views about abstinence?
And, while we’re on the subject, at what point should we just start assuming that every Republican who publicly claims to be outraged by something, is, behind the scenes, ejaculating wildly to thoughts of exactly that thing? From Strom Thurman, the segregation-loving Senator who fathered a black child out of wedlock, to Mark Foley, the Chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children, who liked to send sex-filled, homoerotic emails to his young, male pages, it always seems like the ones most obsessed with an issue are those who would most like to find themselves, naked, beneath a pile of people doing it.