America, meet Boris, your next White House Chief of Staff

I often wonder, based on how strange things have gotten over these past two years, just how much weirder things could still get before this chapter in American history draws to a close. As I’ve mentioned here on a few occasions, I think it’s highly likely, for instance, that, before Trump leaves the White House, we’ll have our first Oval Office murder. And I’m not kidding about that. I really do think that things are going to take a much darker turn as we approach the end, and the walls begin to close in on our Adderall-snorting Commander-in-Chief and his family of hideous grifters. And I’ve read enough Shakespeare to know that, in these kinds of situations, people always die. But, today, it occurred to me that murder might not be the weirdest thing in front of us. No, I think that things could get even more strange than that. What if, for instance, unable to find a human to fill the role of Chief of Staff, Trump announced that he was going to be bringing a robot into the White House to fill the role being vacated by John Kelly? And what if that Robot really turned out to be a tiny Russian inside a C3PO costume? I know it sounds implausible, but all of this has been implausible. I mean, we have a reality television star President who, as we learned not too long ago, likes to be spanked by porn stars with rolled up magazines containing articles about himself, right? At any rate, here’s my inspiration for today’s post.

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9 Comments

  1. Eel
    Posted December 14, 2018 at 11:22 am | Permalink

    I’d rather have a Russian in a C3PO outfit than Jared Kushner.

  2. Lynne
    Posted December 14, 2018 at 12:11 pm | Permalink

    Even if there isn’t an actual murder I see a lot of potential for the Obama/Biden detective genre.

  3. Anonymous
    Posted December 14, 2018 at 12:42 pm | Permalink

    Speaking of robots, did you hear what Steve Bannon has been up to?

    Headline: “Sex robot conference cancelled over backlash to proposed speech by Steve Bannon”

    https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/steve-bannon-sex-robot-conference-lsr-ace-2018-adrian-cheok-university-montana-a8680336.html

  4. M
    Posted December 14, 2018 at 2:13 pm | Permalink

    The Guardian:

    Yes, he can: Obama debuts as Sherlock Holmesian detective

    Along with Watsonian sidekick Joe Biden, the former president has embarked on a crimefighting career in Hope Never Dies by Andrew Shaffer

    https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/jul/12/yes-he-can-obama-debuts-as-sherlock-holmesian-detective

  5. Kat
    Posted December 14, 2018 at 3:04 pm | Permalink

    You might not be far off. Earlier today the WH said Chris Christie was the front runner for the COS job. He just now dropped out of the running. They’re running out of options.

  6. wobblie
    Posted December 14, 2018 at 3:27 pm | Permalink

    According to HW it is all being run with military precision.

  7. Jean Henry
    Posted December 14, 2018 at 6:31 pm | Permalink

    It’s ok; Bernie will come to save the day.
    https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/13/us/politics/elizabeth-warren-bernie-sanders-2020.html

  8. iRobert
    Posted December 16, 2018 at 11:17 am | Permalink

    As far as 2020 contenders, I like Senator Brown of Ohio, Senator Harris of California, and Congresswoman Gabbard of Hawaii.

    As much as I like Warren and Sanders as people, and as senators, they would be terrible choices to run for President.

  9. iRobert
    Posted December 17, 2018 at 10:43 am | Permalink

    I am fully in favor of handing over all government to artificial intelligence, and as soon as possible. If Steven Hawking was right, we’d get what we deserve.

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