Totally Quotable Clementine… “milk thing” edition

    This happened a few months ago. Clementine, in an attempt to get Arlo to stop crying, thought that she’d point out that Linette was nearby, working in the kitchen. Instead of saying “there’s your beautiful mama,” or something like that, though, Clementine decided to go a different route, and refer to Linette as “the thing” that produces his milk.

    And here’s a hint to all the little kids in the audience… Women who have just recently given birth, don’t very much like being thought of as “things” that exist merely to lactate.

    Oh, and this, to my knowledge, is the first time that I’ve ever posed a photo for this site. I’ve fought against the idea of dramatic reenactmets for a decade, but I didn’t know how else to present this installment of Totally Quotable Clementine. And, now that I’ve done it, I don’t think that I can stop. In fact, I’m thinking about hiring an actor to play a younger version of me, so that I can start posting video reenactments of things that have happened in my past, like the time, about seven years ago, that I confronted two large men in the process of stealing Linette’s car, without realizing, until several seconds into the heated exchange, that my chuckling baby daughter was strapped to my chest.

    [note: Linette wasn't really offended by Clementine referring to her as the thing that makes Arlo's milk. In fact, she thought that it was really funny. I don't think, however, that, as a rule, most new mothers like being thought of a dairy cattle. At least, if I were you, I wouldn't buy my wife a t-shirt that says, "the thing that makes milk."]

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      8 Comments

      1. Kodak Moment
        Posted April 21, 2012 at 11:40 pm | Permalink

        Good news! I searched the Web and finally found an actor who would be perfect to play the younger you!

      2. Edward
        Posted April 22, 2012 at 8:20 am | Permalink

        Linette isn’t the only one who’s offended by the analogy.

        http://screencrave.frsucrave.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/the-thing-fantastic-four-reborn-30-7-10-kc.jpg

      3. Posted April 22, 2012 at 11:12 am | Permalink

        What name has Clementine come up with for you?

      4. Posted April 22, 2012 at 8:35 pm | Permalink

        Doug, I’m called “the thing with useless breasts.”

      5. anonymous
        Posted April 23, 2012 at 8:46 am | Permalink

        Mark is, “The thing that eats the food.”

      6. Eel
        Posted April 23, 2012 at 8:52 am | Permalink

        Mark Maynard: “The think that clogs the toilet.”

        I think I need to design a new header for the site.

      7. Anonymous Mike
        Posted April 23, 2012 at 10:50 am | Permalink

        Clogger of toilets, speaker of truth, breaker of hearts – Mark Maynard

      8. Kate
        Posted April 25, 2012 at 11:08 am | Permalink

        My 6 year old daughter has taken to calling me “Milk Jugs” since the birth of her sister.

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