Paul Revere, bell-ringing British informant

I wasn’t going to comment on it, but, as many of you no doubt know, Sarah Palin made news a couple days ago when she came out with an alternate version of Paul Revere’s historic ride, in which the celebrated American patriot rang bells throughout the Massachusetts countryside, warning the British that the Colonists were preparing to rise up against them. Here, if you haven’t seen it, is the footage in question.

And here’s the transcription.

“(Paul Revere) who warned the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, by ringin’ those bells, and by makin’ sure that, as he’s ridin’ his horse through town… to send those warnin’ shots and bells that, uh, we were gonna be secure, and we were gonna be free…”

While other noted historians have come out over the last few years with their own interpretations of what happened the night of April 18, 1775, Palin’s thesis is unique in that she’s the only one who suggests that Revere rang bells with the intention of warning the British. (Most scholars agree that Revere likely didn’t yell out anything at all that night, for fear of being overheard by British army patrols, and instead probably just stopped along his route between Boston and Concord, at the homes of known patriots, to let them know that the British were advancing in hopes of capturing Samuel Adams and John Hancock, and destroying stores of arms held by rebels.) This new research by Palin, however, seems to have captivated the nation. In fact, it looks as though people are going crazy on Wikipedia today, attempting to add mention of these British-warning bells.

Some elitists and “professional academics,” of course, are challenging this newly presented scholarship. To those individuals, Palin has responded with the following.

“I didn’t mess up about Paul Revere. Part of his ride was to warn the British that were already there. That, hey, you’re not going to succeed. You’re not going to take American arms. You are not going to beat our own well-armed persons, individual, private militia that we have.”

I love people that, when confronted by facts, have the balls to double-down and go for broke. And that’s exactly what I’m looking for in a President.

Oh, and it’s probably also worth noting that pundits seem to think that Romney will find it difficult to win the Republican nomination due to the fact that he believes in global warming. Taken together, I think these two facts speak volumes on intellectual capacity of the average Republican.

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  1. Andrew Jason Clock
    Posted June 5, 2011 at 11:11 pm | Permalink

    Also, never mind that the British wiped the floor with our well armed malitias, and it wasn’t untill we had a standing army and the help of the French that we were able to pravail. I wonder how that fits into Palins version of history?

  2. dragon
    Posted June 5, 2011 at 11:35 pm | Permalink

    Laugh all you want, but the great founders who saved the states of the time, all of them, bravely stated that the constitution still guarantees the arms we bear should be honored and not challenged by the elite bloggers who think they know so much more than those who also risked their lives for this cherished land.

  3. Stacey
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 6:23 am | Permalink

    Dragon, the U.S. Constitution was written *after* the Revolutionary War.

  4. Watching Laughing.
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 6:38 am | Permalink

    Speaking Sarah Palin—– People really need to raise their standards.

    Watching Laughing.

  5. Ed It
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 6:50 am | Permalink

    Oops Dragon! I got your back. I’m going know to change the Wikipedia page to show that Constitution was written before the Revolutionary War (to help Dragon save face).

    Sarah Palin having taught us children that saving face is more important than our nation’s history.

  6. Ed It
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 6:53 am | Permalink

    Then I’m going to change it show that the adverb meaning “at the present time or moment” is spelled with a k.

  7. Posted June 6, 2011 at 6:56 am | Permalink

    Dragon, not all of them agreed on the presence nor the wording of the Second Amendment, regardless of the fact that the Constitutuion was written after the war was long over.

  8. Posted June 6, 2011 at 7:01 am | Permalink

    Does anyone care what this idiot says?

    Oh wait, yes…

  9. Posted June 6, 2011 at 7:02 am | Permalink

    Here comes Tater…

  10. John Galt
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 7:39 am | Permalink

    History shouldn’t just be for the historians. It’s time for regular, god-fearing patriots to take it back, and reclaim it as their own.

  11. dragon
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 9:11 am | Permalink

    Well gosh Stacey, maybe if you left your communal indoctrination camp once in awhile you might learn what we in the awesome and great *pro-america* parts of this country have always known, that those founders too did have thoughts before the liberal publishers of the day put ‘dates’ on them.

    You also might want to take a shower and quit smokin’ all the weed.

  12. Mr. X
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 9:31 am | Permalink

    Sometimes I think Palin does this kind of shit on purpose just to come off as a regular American. I was surprised by the number of people who called into the radio station that I was listening to this morning, defending her. They were actually yelling at the host of the show, who had been laughing about it. People, it seems, love her not in spite of her stupidity, but because of it.

  13. Mr. X
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 9:56 am | Permalink

    Randi Rhodes talks with a Palin supporter.

  14. Kim
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 11:23 am | Permalink

    I like how she called the question a “gotcha” question, as though she were being set up to make a fool of herself.

    The question from the reporter was, “What have you seen so far today, and what are you going to take away from your visit?”

  15. TaterSalad
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 12:27 pm | Permalink

    The people who posted on this article above who think that Palin was wrong are worng themselves. The British “were” warned/told by Paul Revere and there were two riders of the night, one went north (blackman) and one went south. Palin was correct in her statement!

  16. Maria
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 12:45 pm | Permalink

    She’s funny. You know, like a lying little kid who’s hand is in the cookie jar, and says
    “Who me?”

  17. Robert
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 1:44 pm | Permalink

    Let’s see if we can get Sarah Palin to believe Ypsilanti was the sight of a major revolutionary war battle, and get her to add a stop here to her bus tour. I bet we could.

  18. Robert
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 1:51 pm | Permalink

    I guess I should have spelled it “site.” That way my making fun of a stupid person would have carried more wait.

  19. dragon
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 2:00 pm | Permalink

    You might be better off making fun of fat people.

  20. Brainless
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 4:07 pm | Permalink

    Oh Tater. Shutthefuckup. Do you feel like a dick when you say this shit in real life (like you sound here)? Are you as physically able to twist yourself into knots as you are your ideas? If so, can you lick your own balls? If so, please do that instead of writing the next time a similar fit of genius strikes you.

  21. Posted June 6, 2011 at 6:09 pm | Permalink

  22. PalinYes!
    Posted June 6, 2011 at 9:50 pm | Permalink

    Sarah was plainly explaining that NO foreign entity has the right to take away the American people’s right to arm and defend themselves against oppressors/intruders from another shore. What is the issue here?! Should the colonists have quietly handed over their arms? Should we?!?

  23. Posted June 7, 2011 at 6:09 am | Permalink

    Not that it wasn’t a good idea to separate from Britain, but as the 13 colonies weren in fact, colonies, the British weren’t a foreign entity at the time.

  24. EOS
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 9:56 am | Permalink

    Thanks Jake!

  25. TaterSalad
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 10:22 am | Permalink

    Hey Brainless…(appropriate) get a life and come out from the basement.

  26. Mr. X
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 11:07 am | Permalink

    Jake, it’s a nice report, but I don’t think it proves anything, except for the fact that NPR went out of their way to find someone willing to give Palin the benefit of the doubt. The facts, however, remain that Paul Revere rang no bells, nor did he alert the British. As others have noted, he did not want to be heard on his late-night trip between Boston and Lexington. You can parse it however you like, but Palin was wrong on the facts.

  27. Posted June 7, 2011 at 12:37 pm | Permalink

    Hahaha! Classic. I don’t like Palin either, but I’m not blinded to reality by hatred for her.

  28. TaterSalad
    Posted June 7, 2011 at 4:52 pm | Permalink

    Brainless needs some fresh air and to get out of his mothers basement. Palin was correct. Did you finish grade school or are you just plain pitiful?

  29. Kim
    Posted June 10, 2011 at 12:30 pm | Permalink

    Speaking of Romney and global climate change, did you see this?

    Polls suggest Mitt Romney is the one Republican presidential hopeful who stands a real chance of beating Barack Obama in 2012, but conservatives are blazing a new warpath against the former Massachusetts governor _ this time for his belief that climate change is real.

    “Bye-bye, nomination,” radio host Rush Limbaugh, a guiding light for many hard-core conservatives in the United States, said this week after the former Massachussetts governor stated publicly that the planet is getting warmer.

    “Another one down. We’re in the midst here of discovering that this is all a hoax. The last year has established that the whole premise of man-made global warming is a hoax, and we still have presidential candidates that want to buy into it.”

    One can only hope that a majority of Republican aren’t as stupid as Limbaugh.

One Trackback

  1. By The time to revolt draws near, my friends…. on July 10, 2011 at 6:54 pm

    […] don’t know what that is. Here, while I consider the possibility of riding off into the night, ringing my bells like Paul Revere, is a poignant quote from Bill Maher: “If you can look at a crime where everything points to one […]

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