A whole new MarkMaynard.com, brought to you in July by The Rocket

At some point later this morning, if all goes according to plan, the site should look considerably different. I hope you find it to your liking. Among other things, you should be able to more easily share your favorite posts on Facebook, and get your comments posted without having to wait so long for moderation. And, it should be a little more easy to navigate. Most importantly, though, you should also notice, in the top right corner, that the MarkMaynard.com coupon program has been reinitiated. This month’s featured local company is everyone’s favorite Ypsilanti gift, candy and novelty shop – The Rocket, and they’re offering 20% off on all purchases. All you have to do is print out their coupon, and use it during the month of July… So, if you’ve been waiting for the right time to visit downtown Ypsi, now’s your chance. There are a few other site-related things that I wanted to talk with you about, but it’s late, and I’m tired, so I guess they’ll have to wait… Before I go, though, I want to thank a reader that we’ll call A, who helped to get this new site launched. It couldn’t have happened without him. I’d like to use his real name, but I don’t want to mention it without first running it by him, in case he has friends, family members, or employers that might hold it against him that he helped me make this site better. There’s also a lovely and talented graphic designer that I’d like to thank, but she’s asked me not to give even her initial.

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  1. Edward
    Posted July 1, 2011 at 6:16 am | Permalink

    Waiting patiently for my whole life to get better……

  2. Kristin
    Posted July 1, 2011 at 7:25 am | Permalink

    Thank you to The Rocket for sponsoring MM.COM. Now we have even more reason to head back in.

  3. Mr. X
    Posted July 1, 2011 at 8:24 am | Permalink

    Thank you to the men and women of the Rocket. Those of you in Ann Arbor should come and check them out sometime.

  4. Posted July 1, 2011 at 9:00 am | Permalink

    Excellent job on the site! I’m still waiting for the Tater-Cam though.

  5. cmadler
    Posted July 1, 2011 at 9:12 am | Permalink

    Any hope for threaded comments?

  6. Mr. X
    Posted July 1, 2011 at 9:22 am | Permalink

    What are threaded comments?

  7. cmadler
    Posted July 1, 2011 at 9:37 am | Permalink

    Instead of just having a linear stream of comments, when you type a comment you can mark it as a reply to a previous comment, and the reply appears as such.


  8. Posted July 1, 2011 at 9:52 am | Permalink

    I wish I had this coupon last week when I was shopping at the Rocket for my nephew’s birthday present (he loved his fly eye glasses!) But I have a feeling there are one or two other things I might like to buy for myself with this coupon ;)

  9. Dan
    Posted July 1, 2011 at 9:55 am | Permalink

    Mark, based on the self portrait at the top of the site, you may want to get some of those sores checked

  10. Eel
    Posted July 1, 2011 at 10:01 am | Permalink

    Will the Maynard family’s attack on Blackbeard never cease. It’s one thing to cut the man’s head off, and swing it from the bow of your ship. It’s quite another to use his image in advertising several hundred years later. Let the man rest.

  11. Ed
    Posted July 1, 2011 at 11:51 am | Permalink

    May I be the first to say, it’s about fucking time. Welcome to the 21st century.

  12. Edward
    Posted July 1, 2011 at 2:57 pm | Permalink

    From the looks of the image, it appears as though Blackbeard was into ear candling.

  13. LipStix
    Posted July 1, 2011 at 7:25 pm | Permalink

    “A whole new MarkMaynard.com.” You are still the one writing the posts, right?

    So either the “whole new” means you’ve finally joined a cult or your sponsors have just awoken another new clone?

  14. OnaMuppet
    Posted July 1, 2011 at 9:20 pm | Permalink

    You know those graphically talented readers you mention sometimes? I would be very grateful if someone could fill in the gaps between the many variations of Mark in the graphics on this site. There seems to be a lot of missing links between the bearded baby Marks and the R. Crumb on meth wearing Garrison Keillor’s skin Mark that presently welcomes readers.

    For long time readers, the literary transformation is evident. I just feel like the graphics missed some crucial steps in the evolution.

  15. Can't Buy Me Love
    Posted July 1, 2011 at 9:35 pm | Permalink

    Cmadler has a good idea.

    Threaded comments would allow me to have a prolonged side conversation with EOS without feeling bad that I/we were hijacking the post from everyone else.

    I’m patient. (I’m still waiting for EOS to reply.) But put it in your pocket for markmaynard.com 4.0.

  16. notoneofthecoolkids
    Posted July 2, 2011 at 9:09 am | Permalink

    I love the Rocket and have no problem with you having ads on your blog. However, your new logo is hmmmm…yucky. And this is coming from a long time MAD magazine fan!

  17. Posted July 2, 2011 at 3:30 pm | Permalink

    I like the fact that the people who helped you with the new design don’t want their names mentioned. Do you have a protection program?

  18. Dan Richardson
    Posted July 2, 2011 at 9:48 pm | Permalink

    The hideous new Mark logo is only there so that when people meet Mark in person they are pleasantly surprised. It’s brilliant.

  19. Interrobang
    Posted July 2, 2011 at 9:54 pm | Permalink

    Dear Mark,

    Your graphic designer hates you. Either that, or you have really horrible self-esteem issues. Either way, that banner portrait is not good news.

  20. Round O. F.
    Posted July 2, 2011 at 10:26 pm | Permalink

    I understand that a lot of people have a hard time stomaching the new “look” of this site. But I think it’s honest and courageous!

    Sure, it’s easy for us to read Mark’s wise and eloquent words, that seem to spring from a limitless void of energy and intellectual acumen, and fancifully imagine what his prowess might look like nude. But, as his new banner reminds us as we check in daily, in the rare moments when wisdom couples with passion and longevity, it does take, as payment, its pound of flesh.

    Look at the banner. Look long, look hard. And thank the heavens for the sacrificial gift.

  21. Round O. F.
    Posted July 2, 2011 at 11:18 pm | Permalink

    I feel the need to add, that my comment may appear to be flip and glib vituperation, but its truly unfeigned.

    From time to time, I think it’s worthwhile for us readers to pause and appreciate what Mark provides, to friend and foe alike, and realize that not only are most of us not doing anything like it, but precious few, anywhere, are doing anything like it.

    I hesitate to commend Mark’s work on this site because a) I don’t want him to feel compelled to continue. His health and sanity is worth at least as much as any of ours. b) there’s a “b” but mentioning it would defeat it.

    For those of us who come here to combat, I think it’s worth being appreciative of what Mark’s doing, and maybe saying so from time to time. For those of us who come here to feel comforted, the same. For those who come here to dump useless shit you haven’t even read or understood, fine, just realize you’re a sad little parasites. I know we all “use” this site differently. But we’re all, actually, using Mark, a person, a husband and father, a passionate patriot (cue horns), and so on…

    I think I might get what this was about.

    All I meant to say was “thanks Mark.” You suck like quarter sized hail.

  22. Ale Roka
    Posted July 3, 2011 at 1:33 pm | Permalink

    My daughter, who has met you in person, just saw the new image of you on the banner. She said, “I wish there was a statue of that so I could walk all the way around it.”

    It’s an idea…

  23. Posted July 3, 2011 at 5:11 pm | Permalink

    I think your daughter is calling me fat.

    More on the image in the banner later.

  24. Posted July 3, 2011 at 5:18 pm | Permalink

    I’m not sure about threaded comments. I’ll give it some thought. Maybe I’m just old, but I find them confusing. And I think that a lot of the comments left here on the site reference more than one point made previously, so I’m having a hard time imaging how it would work. I will give it some thought, thought.

    And, Can’t Buy Me Love, I don’t think you hijacked that thread at all. I’ve enjoyed it. And I appreciate that someone is still willing to engage EOS. Personally, I wish there were more thoughtful, long discussions like it on the site. So, don’t apologize.

  25. Posted July 3, 2011 at 5:19 pm | Permalink

    Has anyone used the Rocket coupon yet? If so, what’d you get?

  26. Posted July 3, 2011 at 5:29 pm | Permalink

    Great comment, LipStix. I loved Moon.

    If folks haven’t seen it, it’s on Netflix Instant.

    I wish that I’d been able to interview Sam Rockwell when he was here in town. I’ve liked him in pretty much everything I’ve seen, including the Charlie’s Angels remake.

    I should have a button on the site entitled “Activate the clone.” When a certain number of people hit it – let’s say 100 in a 24 hour period – a new, fresher Mark Maynard would be activated to take over daily blogging duties. (And, I guess, I’d be stoned to death in the town square.)

  27. Posted July 4, 2011 at 7:09 pm | Permalink

    And, yes, Doug, everyone who helps with the site is given a new identity and a satchel full of Triscuit coupons. If you’d like to design a new header for the site, I can offer you the identity of a retired log flume operator in Reno.

  28. Posted July 4, 2011 at 7:11 pm | Permalink

    And, Ale, what if we compromise and have a statue in Riverside park with Iggy’s head and my body?

  29. Posted July 4, 2011 at 7:38 pm | Permalink

    I spent a weekend in Reno once, getting thrown out of wedding chapels when the proprietors realized my friends and I didn’t really want to get married. I don’t remember any log flumes.

    I think the header is okay, but you might want to post a more recent picture. We all age.

  30. Ale Roka
    Posted July 5, 2011 at 3:27 pm | Permalink

    I did warn my daughter that if she planned on hiking around a statue of you she better pack a lunch and wear comfortable shoes.

    As for the statue of Iggy’s head with your body, I suspect it would look a whole lot like this. I like it!

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