The response to Ted Kennedy’s drawing of Sam Rockwell’s sweatpants Monday was so overwhelmingly positive, I put the word out that we were looking for other works of pencil paparazzi. Following is our second contribution. This one comes from Ann Arbor’s Jean Henry.
And here’s the explanation:
Last Friday night, running errands, it was late. The toddler got hungry, so we popped in to Whole Paycheck for mac n’ cheese. I got in the shortest line and sent Ezra to the tables to wait. I realized the woman in front of me was fussy and nervous. I thought she looked skinny and overwrought. I thought maybe I had picked the wrong line. She put some things on the counter, others she handed right to the cashier for return. She said the tomatoes were ‘manky‘ in a British accent. I realized she was Minnie Driver. I realized I had picked the wrong line. I started to leave to go to the longer line. She said, “I need chicken. Do you have roasted chicken? I’ll be right back right back. Sorry sorry.” I believed her and stayed in the line. The mac n’ cheese grew cold. Ezra was remarkably patient. Eventually she paid, “sorry sorry,” and we ate.
At first I thought she was being both narcissistic and neurotic about being narcissistic. Then I thought she was so concerned with not being recognized that it was impossible not to notice her. Then I remembered hearing about a throng of Japanese tourists who were pawing Hillary Swank earlier that week in A2, and I decided that she was really just acting the way one would if, at any moment, one might be pawed by a throng of Japanese tourists. Being haunted by imaginary throngs could make anyone act a little nuts.
As a side note, someone I used to know always bragged that Minnie Driver wanted him back in the day, before she was famous. I wish I had thought to say, “Did you want to shag so and so back in the day?” I could have taped her reply and sent it to him. Life never presents these opportunities twice.
If you’ve seen someone even marginally famous, and know how to hold a pencil and move it over paper, you too could become official Pencil Paparazzi for MarkMaynard.com. Just send scans to firstname.lastname@example.org, or drop drawings in the mail to:
PO Box 980301
Ypsilanti, MI 48198