sick day

Im home sick from work today. I was right last night when I said that I felt it sneaking up on me. I ended up getting clobbered in my sleep, when my defenses were down

Fucking sleep! My eternal enemy.

When I woke up, I couldnt breath through my nose at all. I was gasping for air through my mouth like a sunfish left lying on a dock. To complicate matters, I need to sleep with a device in my mouth, something to lessen the damage done by my incessant grinding of teeth. It doesnt leave a lot of breathing room. Taken together, I think last night I had the breathing capacity of a person underwater with a small cocktail straw to the surface.

Before slipping into a coma, I was able to make it to the bathroom and force what looked like honey-colored foam packing peanuts out of each nostril. I had to soak my nose under a hot towel to get them to loosen up enough to become malleable. Then I had to build up all this pressure in my head so that I could launch them out like drive-through banking forms through pneumatic tubes Anyway, they came out with some effort and I didnt, as I had feared, blow another eyeball blood vessel in the process… I then flushed these things that looked like tiny fetal pigs down the toilet and wallowed back to my well-worn indention between Linette and the cats.

When I finally woke up, I stumbled downstairs to a cup of tea and blueberry muffin (Linette made them last night and theyre great) and watched the old John Wayne war epic The Sands of Iwo Jima. I Tivod it a few days ago in anticipation of just such an occasion. Its the kind of stupid movie, full of racial stereotypes and macho bullshit, that I love, but find difficult to defend to Linette. Illness makes it somehow OK though.

Im going to go and get the mail now. And, when I get back, Im watching Columbo. Sick days are my chance to catch up on all the stuff that Linette hates.

Oh, I just got an email from Terry in Texas. He wanted to let me know that his friend Shishie is in the process of auctioning off her DNA on Ebay. I wonder if that might be good for a cold.

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