Linette and I payed bills
Decided there was no money left
Then went out for steaks and big glasses of gin
Over dinner, we decided to go farther into debt for Ypsipanties
We are gambling our future
And that of our unborn children
On what
Doug Skinner has called
“Novelty panties”
The gin helps
Before we went out to eat
We attended a class at the public library
It was called Researching Your Historic Home
We heard about one couple that found out that their home was the site of
A triple homicide at the turn of the century
A mental patient escaped from the local sanitarium and got
A shotgun
It was her family that she killed
They had a vacation home here in Ypsi
The family would stay here when they were visiting her
Linette and I are no longer passionate
About researching our historic home
According to Harpers
A fertility scientist
Named Panayiotis Zavos
Announced that he had created human-cow embryos
He said that he wouldnt put them in a woman’s womb though
Hes good like that
He’s got a line that he will not cross
Queer Eye is coming on
We needed to take a night off from magazine production
Please forgive us
Some of you have responded to my request for entries
In the
What Would George Bush Junior be
If He Were Not a Bush?
Contest
Keep those entries coming
Ill announce a winner on Friday
I want to make more art
When the magazine is done
And once the new Monkey Power Trio record is done
OK
Its time for Queer Eye
See you tomorrow
