low self-esteem

I went out and had tea with an old friend by the name of Don Cupery after work this evening. We discussed my shortcomings for several hours.

Then, upon coming home, I decided to read my e-mail. I had a note waiting for me from my grandmothers sister. I was happy to see that it was the geneology for the Scottish limb of my family tree. I scrolled though it quickly, looking for recognizable names from the history books. Instead, I found the following:

1. A woman with the words handicap: imbecile next to her name from the 1881 census. And this, from what I can tell, was a woman in my direct bloodline.

2. Another woman who, next to her name, was given the title, asst housekeeper. Yes, my people assisted the housekeeper. They aspired to reach the class of housekeeper.

3. Finally, as we climbed our way, like monkeys, from the distant limb to the more sturdy trunk, I found something that I liked, one little ray of hope, a man whose profession was listed as scholar.

I need to do some research. My guess is that, in Scotland, at that time, an imbecile was defined somewhat differently. My hunch is that she was an old woman when the census was taken, perhaps she suffered from some kind of age-related illness. Perhaps she even suffered from something like Alzheimers. Thats what Im thinking I do not, unfortunately, have any positive spin to put on the label of assistant housekeeper. To my knowledge, the housekeeper was not the head of the House of Commons, or some such thing And, lastly, as for the scholar of the family, my guess is that he was away when the census taker came by, and his parents said something like, Oh, yeah, you mean the scholar. Yeah, hes out right now. Hes at the University, readin and writin and stuff. They probably had a good laugh about that. The imbecile probably laughed up her haggis over that one.

As for tea with Don, it went well. I hadn’t seen him in four or five years. He looked good. His eyes were clear, his hair had a soft, healthy glow, and his teeth and gums didn’t show any signs of disease. I can’t ask for much more than that from my friends.

Here now is the news from my embedded reporter.