Casting myself in a reboot of The Swimmer

I know I’ve yet to make good on my last great film idea — a shot-for-shot remake of the Hall and Oates video for the song “She’s Gone,” starring me and Dr. Pete Larson in the roles of Hall and Oats respectively — but, laying here in my sickbed tonight, I think I’ve got an even better idea. I want to remake the 1968 Burt Lancaster film “The Swimmer” with me in the lead. Only, instead of having me — the protagonist — attempting to swim his my across an upscale Connecticut community, by going from swimming pool to swimming pool, I’d be making my way across Ypsilanti, going bathtub to bathtub, discovering things about myself along the way.

And, yes, I know that Donald Trump said today that he’d decided to “take (Kim Jong-Un) at his word” when he said that he wasn’t aware of Otto Warmbier’s systematic torture, but I just can’t address it tonight. The cold medicine won’t allow it… If anyone wants to discuss The Swimmer, though, let me know and I’ll set up a conference call.

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  1. John Brown
    Posted February 28, 2019 at 10:10 pm | Permalink

    I saw The Swimmer as a small child unsupervised, with no context, and it confused the shit outta me. It finally made sense years later when we had “metaphor” in English class. Good movie. I’m sure Burt Lancaster wouldn’t take no Agent Orange cult45 shit.

  2. iRobert
    Posted March 1, 2019 at 3:34 am | Permalink

    If you want me to be a consultant on your remake of the She’s Gone video, I’d be happy to. I once saw John Oates with his wife, grocery shopping in Troy, Michigan, and I feel I got a real sense of the man from that experience. I’m certain I’d be able to coach Pete Larson on capturing that essence for the filming of the music video. You’re welcome.

  3. Eel
    Posted March 1, 2019 at 11:57 am | Permalink

    Make it dirty, discarded mattresses instead of tubs, and you’ve got yourself something.

  4. TeacherPatti
    Posted March 1, 2019 at 2:32 pm | Permalink

    Okay thanks for bringing up H&O because you know I was coming over here to remind you :) :)

    I saw Oates in concert in January and he put on a great show. I thought it would be funny to just see Oates but man, fabulous performance. He’s really into music history and I think Pete could jump right into that as well.

  5. iRobert
    Posted March 2, 2019 at 12:22 pm | Permalink

    In celebration of the liberation of I am hosting a party Wednesday night. We can debut the “She’s Gone” cover there. I am working on some lyrical changes to make the song a celebration rather than a lament.

    If we can get HW to attend, he shouldn’t have to pay for a beer all night.

  6. iRobert
    Posted March 3, 2019 at 1:18 am | Permalink

    Right now on Coast to Coast AM, “Researcher Robert W. Sullivan joins guest host Richard Syrett to discuss occult, numerological, astrological, mythological, alchemical, Tarot, and Kabbalistic iconography and symbolism.”

  7. iRobert
    Posted March 3, 2019 at 6:56 am | Permalink

    I should have added that Robert W. Sullivan focuses on popular movies and the occult, numerological, astrological, mythological, alchemical, Tarot, and Kabbalistic iconography and symbolism which can be found in those movies.

    Here’s a link to Sullivan’s webpage:

One Trackback

  1. […] Rock Hudson, and Eleanor and Frank Perry’s The Swimmer (1968) with Burt Lancaster. As we’ve talked briefly about The Swimmer before, I feel as though I should share a little background about Seconds, but I really don’t have […]

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