Can someone in Dearborn let me know what it’s like to live under Sharia law?

With top Nevada Republicans coming forward to endorse her Democratic rival, Harry Reid, Tea Party sweetheart Sharron Angle has had to ratchet things up a bit in her campaign for Senate. Not only is she claiming in a new ad that Reid wants to give Viagra to convicted child molesters (it’s apparently vitally important to Reid that child molesters have raging, four-hour boners), but she’s stirring up the Tea Party base with stories of once lovely American communities, like Dearborn, Michigan and Frankford, Texas, where people are are now being forced to live under Sharia law. “I don’t know how that happened in the United States,” said Angle. But, apparently it has happened, and the men and women of Dearborn and Frankford now find themselves having to live under strict Islamic law, instead of our beloved Constitution. Well, maybe not the people of Frankford, seeing as how that town doesn’t actually even exist, but certainly in Dearborn.

As I live in the same Congressional district as the people of Dearborn, I expect that the edict will come down soon that we have to comply with Sharia law as well, and, other than having to throw all of my bacon away and getting burkas for the women folk in my family, I’m wondering how it’ll impact us. So, if you live in Dearborn, I’d appreciate it if you could leave a comment and fill me in. If I’m going to have to start washing my feet, I’d like to know now, so I can start preparing myself. (As it is, I shower with plastic bags over my feet to keep them from becoming clean. It’s a Scientology thing.)

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  1. Posted October 10, 2010 at 9:22 pm | Permalink

    I was going to send you the link to this story and then completely forgot. I’m glad to see you stumbled upon it and posted it. My school is < 1 mile from Dearborn & our student population is probably about 35% Arabic yet I have heard nary a mention of this. Since you know me, you should agree that if this law was really in effect, I’d be the *first* one stoned to death. Given that I’m still walking around, wreaking havoc for yet another day, I’m going to go out on a limb and say this woman is so full of shit that she squeaks when she turns.

  2. Bob
    Posted October 10, 2010 at 11:20 pm | Permalink

    I lived in East Dearborn for years, the only honkies on our block. If sharia law meant neighbors who waved and minded their own business, and never got loud, drunk or stupid on weekends…I lived under it.

  3. Knox
    Posted October 11, 2010 at 5:57 am | Permalink

    It’s really not that bad. The only difference is, instead of beer at block parties, there are executions.

  4. Peter Larson
    Posted October 11, 2010 at 6:53 am | Permalink

    Where do they have the stonings in Dearborn?

  5. Posted October 11, 2010 at 7:51 am | Permalink

    The only people I ever knew from Dearborn got stoned in other ways.

  6. Peter Larson
    Posted October 11, 2010 at 7:55 am | Permalink

    The frightening part is that people will vote for her.

  7. Joe Miller
    Posted October 11, 2010 at 8:19 am | Permalink

    I found the transition to Sharia Law a bit difficult at first, but, over time, I came to enjoy it. As a man, it’s really not that bad. You can even have sex with little boys, if that’s your thing.

  8. dragon
    Posted October 11, 2010 at 9:36 am | Permalink

    I hear women aren’t allowed to ride their camel in Dearborn. Unaccompanied, I assume.

  9. Robert
    Posted October 11, 2010 at 1:13 pm | Permalink

    It’s horrible, Mark…almost as bad as Ann Arbor is with all its laws making gay sex mandatory and the officially sanctioned rape rooms on the U of M campus.

    EOS and I are fighting to see those laws repealed though…from our command center in his basement.

  10. Arfie
    Posted October 11, 2010 at 4:08 pm | Permalink

    UM Dearborn is a terrorist training camp for militant transsexual members of the Taliban. I read it on the internet.

  11. Posted October 11, 2010 at 4:51 pm | Permalink

    They have good hummus in Dearborn. Does that help at all?

  12. Oliva
    Posted October 11, 2010 at 8:29 pm | Permalink

    The Arab American Museum in Dearborn (13624 Michigan Avenue) has a global music series, among other enticing offerings: (Thanks to a delightful teacher at EMU Institute for telling us about it; endless thanks to lovely Linette for telling us about EMU Institute). The 9 Sept. show, Jesus “Chuy” Negrete, sounded so good; I wish we could’ve gone:

    Jesus “Chuy” Negrete is founder/director of the Mexican Cultural Institute in Chicago, an engaging teller of tales and master narrator of the Mexican experience through poetic song and corridos (running-verse ballads). Author Studs Terkel dubbed him “the Chicano Woody Guthrie.”

    Oh, that Dearborn, so insular and spooky. Not!

  13. Posted October 11, 2010 at 9:08 pm | Permalink

    Oliva, I drive by that place whenever I venture up Michigan Avenue to mail something at the post office. Gotta stop in one day!! :)

  14. Posted October 12, 2010 at 6:30 am | Permalink

    Of course, the Tea Party luminaries like Angle are so tone-deaf to satire that I fully expect this thread to be stumbled upon and taken as verification of her claim. Can we take bets on which of the comments here will make their way into her next speech?

  15. Knox
    Posted October 12, 2010 at 6:41 am | Permalink

    I’d like to see a brave tea partier venture into Dearborn with a video camera and challenge Sharia Law by eating a BLT or daring to walk down the street without a male escort and a burqa. Colbert or Beck should send a well armed investigative team.

  16. Posted October 12, 2010 at 6:42 am | Permalink

    They even have a museum celebrating fanatical Arab extremists Ralph Nader and Helen Thomas for their radical anti-American positions advocating human rights over corporate interests:

  17. Posted October 12, 2010 at 12:34 pm | Permalink

    The Mayor of Dearborn has called Angel out.

  18. Kim
    Posted October 15, 2010 at 2:27 pm | Permalink

    Looks like Ann Arbor had some tea party drama yesterday.

  19. Posted October 15, 2010 at 2:59 pm | Permalink

    I think I knew Chase Ingersoll way back. If it’s the same guy, he was a bigoted skinhead who would routinely get into fights over nothing at all.

    Assuming it’s the same guy, I could very well be wrong.

  20. Posted October 15, 2010 at 3:13 pm | Permalink

    I really don’t think it’s the same guy, but either way this guy is a nutcase.

  21. Gay OCD
    Posted October 16, 2010 at 12:33 am | Permalink

    No, Peter, that was me.

  22. Posted October 17, 2010 at 1:10 pm | Permalink

    I think the skinheads wrote me off after a college “shack-up” with N.S. Hey, if those guys want to be discriminatin’ that just mean mo sista fo me!

    N.S. is a lawyer now. Married a rich white guy of course. And since I had a great grandmother from the deep South who crossed over, another that immigrated before Denmark was over-run by the Nazi’s (Jewish) and am related to the abolitionists Robert G. Ingersoll & Salmon P. Chase – Supreme Court Justice, & Consitution Signatory and Supreme Court Judge Samuel Chase….. Each of these fellows was a significant provocatuer…. so I guess it runs on multiple sides of the family…..sorry, but Chase Ingersoll has no need for Nazi rhetoric to be provocative.

    Hope you enjoy the campaign commerical at:

  23. Lann Frands
    Posted January 17, 2011 at 3:21 pm | Permalink

    It’s just like anywhere else, only if you talk to an unmarried woman without her father’s consent, you run the risk of getting your hand chopped off and she could get stoned to death.

  24. Mean Old Man
    Posted January 31, 2011 at 4:37 pm | Permalink

    I’ve got an idea. Let’s blow up the Dearborn mosque with fireworks?

  25. PT Donaldson
    Posted May 8, 2011 at 11:24 am | Permalink

    It’s like being a fundamentalist Christian, but with better food.

  26. notoneofthecoolkids
    Posted June 18, 2011 at 10:08 am | Permalink

    I saw on the local news last night that the big mouth Pastor Jones decided not to go to the Arab American festival in Dearborn and hold a rally. That was good news, but another radical group caused some problems.
    I am bringing this up because I just want to encourage anyone that isn’t doing much these next two days to venture to Dearborn to attend a great festival. I worked within the Arabic community in Dearborn for five years and I love this festival. Not only is the food great, but the music is so interesting. From traditional Arabic folk, to their take on pop and rap. And the people are great and it would be great to see more of us lilywhite Michiganders mingling at the Arab American Fest. Check it out.

  27. juegos
    Posted September 7, 2011 at 3:42 pm | Permalink

    I’m looking for a Muslim Juggalo for a sit-com project i’m working on.

  28. Jane Thornton
    Posted March 3, 2013 at 11:19 am | Permalink

    As a women, it’s quite easy. I just wake up and throw on a burkha. It’s quite liberating. Except for the beatings, that is.

  29. PPR
    Posted May 23, 2013 at 4:20 am | Permalink

    Going to the dance club and picking up women in burkas is fun. You never know what you’re going to get when you get home.

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