Something in my ASS!!!

I rarely make great internet finds. Sure, I’ve done some pretty interesting myself over the years, but I’m rarely the first to discover something truly great that isn’t of my own doing. But, a few days ago, I stumbled across a little piece of video while cruising around YouTube, and knew instantly that I’d found something special… Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you, “Something in my ASS!”

It starts going downhill at about the three-minute mark, but I’d put the first few minutes up against anything in the recorded history of American popular culture… So, I’m spending my evening tonight trying to track down the people responsible for this work of brilliance, so that I can option it, for either a television series, an after school special, or a feature film… I just love the idea of a show where, every week, another drunk person in the woods screams about something being stuck in his or her ass. This is the project I was put here on Earth for. I just know it.

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25 Comments

  1. EL
    Posted July 23, 2010 at 9:32 pm | Permalink

    I watched this earlier per your FB, but after a couple minutes couldn’t keep watching. What’s the outcome? It’s something in buttcheek, yes? Not asshole, which, sorry, was what I was presuming with the segment’s title. Which made me leery in the first few seconds of watching cuz I was all “WTF? Why aren’t they helping her? Instead they are laughing at her.” A stick? Nothing alive, right? That also freaked me out (google “candiru”). So, yeah. Oh, and sorry I didn’t show up drunk in your kitchen tonight. The weather was somewhat prohibitive.

  2. Pam
    Posted July 23, 2010 at 10:24 pm | Permalink

    He butt cheek was torn by something. It’s very Blair Witch. There’s some kind of unseen force at work.

  3. Ed The Other
    Posted July 24, 2010 at 2:54 pm | Permalink

    And here I thought that a sequel to The Blair Witch Project would be impossible.

  4. Steve Swan
    Posted July 24, 2010 at 5:04 pm | Permalink

    Was I the only one hoping for a whole lot more?

  5. Edward
    Posted July 24, 2010 at 9:13 pm | Permalink

    Is that a lock of hair going down between her eyes like that, or is it a shadow? Either way, it’s pretty sexy.

  6. Stella M
    Posted July 25, 2010 at 12:34 am | Permalink

    I purely wanted to kill you when I picked it up and watched it from your facebook the other night…
    I’ve ratcheted it down to “sigh must be a dude thing”.
    I was the 8th person to watch it. I would love to be able to give back that distinction.

  7. Abigale Aster
    Posted July 25, 2010 at 11:32 am | Permalink

    I am an elderly woman of refined tastes and I found this as utterly enjoyable as Masterpiece Theater. Bravo, Mr. Maynard.

  8. Gladys Fitzgibbons
    Posted July 25, 2010 at 2:37 pm | Permalink

    My name is Gladys Fitzbbons, of the Newport Fitzgibboness, and I applaud your irreverent sense of humor. It, admittedly, can be a bit ribald at times, but, then again, so can Garrison Keeler’s. (Just typing his name makes me chuckle.)

  9. dan gillotte
    Posted July 25, 2010 at 11:45 pm | Permalink

    “Your ass is fucking bleeding.” Comedy gold.

  10. Bube Toob
    Posted July 25, 2010 at 11:47 pm | Permalink

    Just wondering what search terms you were using to surf youtube when you “happened” across this undiscovered gem?

  11. Winifred Von Monocle
    Posted July 26, 2010 at 8:20 am | Permalink

    Gladys? I can’t believe you spend your days here as well. It’s me, Winifred Von Monocle, from the club. Isn’t this site a hoot? We should play this video at the next meeting of the Benevolent Society. It would do Bunny a world of good, don’t you think? And, speaking of Bunny, did you see that hat she was wearing at the concert on Friday night? Talk about hilarious.

  12. Fred
    Posted July 26, 2010 at 8:44 am | Permalink

    See also:

    Struttin’ that Ass

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B55uUwMGorY

  13. Karen T
    Posted July 26, 2010 at 12:20 pm | Permalink

    Why dost thou shade thy lovely face, as speculate as to what’s in your bum?

  14. Chaely
    Posted August 11, 2010 at 6:54 pm | Permalink

    Who is the guy? He actually said the words “I’m only gonna look at your ass for so long.”

    I demand to know what’s in those red cups & if she got Hep A-G or not.

  15. Francis Coil
    Posted June 27, 2011 at 7:49 pm | Permalink

    Ah, youth. There is nothing so lovely in all this world.

  16. Kaitlin Macias
    Posted September 25, 2011 at 11:32 am | Permalink

    This girl now has a development deal with the WB.

  17. Azz
    Posted October 10, 2011 at 5:40 am | Permalink

    Related.

    http://i.imgur.com/3eu6i.png

  18. SouthBeach
    Posted November 13, 2011 at 12:56 pm | Permalink

    I would LOVE it if this could be developed for a series, wherein something new would find its way into this drunk woman’s ass each week. Maybe it could be like a game show where she wins stuff if she can figure out what it is that’s in her bottom.

  19. Posted November 13, 2011 at 7:54 pm | Permalink

    There would great potential for product placement.

    A can of Folger’s crystals?
    A bottle of Coke?
    The Biography of Steve Jobs?

    Tons of potential!

  20. Edward
    Posted September 23, 2012 at 11:28 pm | Permalink

    There’s now a sequel!

    “Somethings in my mouth”

    http://www.wimp.com/mymouth/

  21. rappers delight
    Posted March 5, 2013 at 7:28 pm | Permalink

    This should have been bigger than Harlem Shake.

  22. Lamar
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 12:25 pm | Permalink

    This post did not help me. Does anyone know of a site that helps people to identify things in their asses?

  23. Eel
    Posted March 8, 2013 at 1:36 pm | Permalink

    I will help you determine what it is, Lamar. I just have a few questions. First, reach behind you. Is whatever is in your ass connected to a person?

  24. China reader
    Posted April 10, 2013 at 7:43 am | Permalink

    I had very similar sensation.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/09/eel-removed-from-man-stuck-colon-photo_n_3046785.html

  25. 88
    Posted April 10, 2013 at 1:21 pm | Permalink

    Your story had an unusual effect on me, China Reader.

    http://i.imgur.com/U0gjM.gif

One Trackback

  1. By My First Tat Gun on October 24, 2010 at 9:14 am

    […] wonder if it comes with a little, My First Case of Hep-C candy/medication […]

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