A few years ago, I put out the word that I was looking to develop a “family uniform” for Clementine, Linette and myself. Here’s what I posted:
It doesn’t have to be an actual uniform, but I was thinking that it might be nice for Linette, Clementine and me to have at least one matching set of clothes. The easiest thing, I suppose, would be to buy identical coveralls from a uniform supply place, and then maybe embellish them a bit with some patches or “accent colors.” (Maybe bright orange hazmat suits with some robin’s egg blue piping, minus the hoods, worn with neckerchiefs.)
Throughout my entire childhood, every day that my dad didn’t go off to work wearing a tie, he was staying home and working around the house in what can best be described as a one-piece, Army surplus jungle suit. I’m sure when I was really young that I thought it was cool, but it never crossed my mind to ask him how I could go about getting one for myself. And, it sure as hell never crossed my mind to suggest that he, my mom, my little sister and me all get them, and then go out in public. But, in spite of that, I have to say that I love the idea of doing it now with my family.
Actually, as much as I like the idea of matching flight-suits that say “team maynard-lao” across the back, I think that Linette would prefer something a little more low-key, like matching knitted sweater-vests that we could wear during the holidays… perhaps something with snowmen on them.
Remember that scene in “The Sound of Music” where Julie Andrews makes all the kids matching outfits out of curtains? Maybe that’s what’s responsible for this new obsession of mine. Or, maybe it’s Devo. Whatever it is, I can’t seem to get the idea out of my mind that we need at least one coordinated ensemble… Maybe I should just go out to the fabric store and pick up a bolt of satin and a bolt of velour and see what happens.
Anyway, if you have any suggestions, or words of warning, please leave a comment.
Well, as I was sitting here today, talking with Clementine, the idea resurfaced in my mind for some reason. (Maybe I subconsciously liked something that she was wearing, and wanted it for myself.) And I remembered that, among the original responses to my plea, I received a great sketch from my friend Ken Boyd in Atlanta. When I went back to find it online, though, I found that it had been mysteriously erased from the site. Fortunately, however, I was able to reconstruct it just now using my cyber sleuthing skills. And, here, for those of you who have never had the pleasure of seeing it, it is… Behold.
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First one to get it tattooed wins a box of hair.
This, I think, would make a great ceramic aquarium sculpture.
We look like we’re growing on the bottom of the ocean.
Oh, before you go and get the tattoo, I wanted to let you know that the hair in the box isn’t mine. It’s just random bits of hair that I’ve collected over the past 20-some years.
Clementine probably outgrew that suit.
Great heads think alike
can i donate some hair to the box?
Mark, did Ken draw you with a 6-pack? Is that your belly button?
That’s either Mark’s penis, or his alternate feeding hole, for when his mouth is full.
This is wild. I’ve always pictured you wearing a giant, ribbed condom.
I’d know the Three Wise Men anywhere.
Can someone people add a bunch of pubic hair at their bases?
48 years old. Still don’t know who or what I am.
I like the idea of a moomoo with three head holes, like you’re all part of one giant, bed-ridden organism.
Uniforms are cool, but you want to leave some room for individual self expression. So, three groundhog skin loin cloths.
You know you have four man boobs in the picture, right?
We all wear neon green unitards when we go out in public, so as not to lose one another in crowds.
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Any progress to report on this project?
You should be the First Family of Furries.
Unicorns maybe.
Or you could all dress like janitors, in grey uniforms, with a big ring of keys on each of your belts.