move along… nothing to see here… just knuckleheads

The cops and the FBI are saying there’s no reason to believe that the men arrested a few days ago in Denver were serious when they independently confessed to being in on a plot to assassinate Barack Obama. This is despite the fact that, in addition to saying that they were in Denver to kill the Democratic nominee for President, they were found carrying two long-range rifles, a telescopic site, a bulletproof vest, walkie talkies, and wigs to conceal their identities. The authorities, I guess in order to drive home the point that they weren’t a real threat to Obama or anyone else, have taken to calling them “knuckelheads.” (Not to go off on too much of a tangent, but I’m wondering what folks would have called Lee Harvey Oswald had they picked him up a few days before the day that JFK was assassinated. I’m thinking, “zany,” maybe “madcap.”) It seems to me that most meth dealers – which is what the authorities have accused the men of being – probably don’t dress up in disguises and shoot people at long distances, but what do I know? I’m not an FBI man.

So, you can all rest easy. These knuckleheads are off the street for a while, freeing our law enforcement folks up to go back out in search of people who really are a threat to our way of life – the mothers trying to smuggle bottles of breast milk onto American aircraft, the elderly wearing anti-war t-shirts, and people dressed up like WMD-carrying zombies.

We are in safe hands tonight, my friends. There is nothing to worry about.

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14 Comments

  1. Cantor
    Posted August 28, 2008 at 11:24 am | Permalink

    An Arab guy with dirty hands in an airport can bring our nation to a screeching halt, but we’re supposed to write this group off as knuckle heads? Funny.

  2. Brackache
    Posted August 28, 2008 at 4:26 pm | Permalink

    Their plan was to put a whoopie cushion on Obama’s chair.

    The guns were just backup, in case it malfunctioned.

    Cwazy knuckleheads.

  3. Vera
    Posted August 28, 2008 at 11:55 pm | Permalink

    No, Brackache, this was how it was supposed to go down:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2FQyevc-i0

  4. Brackache
    Posted August 29, 2008 at 12:30 am | Permalink

    The director’s cut has the scene where Curly jumps out the 6th storey window, all hopped up on rhubarb pie.

    If you look closely, you can see his swastika ring.

  5. Robert
    Posted August 29, 2008 at 11:04 am | Permalink

    I don’t see too many comments under these posts. It makes me wonder what people are really thinking about all this.

    If you’ve been paying any attention to the patterns displayed by federal law enforcement agencies over the past eight years, you will have noticed some very telling and disturbing things. I’m wondering how many of you folks out there really do pay that much attention, and of those who do, how many of you have acknowledged to yourselves that something appears amiss.

    I’ll share just one of hundreds of examples we’ve seen over the past seven years. Remember that “knucklehead” Zacarias Moussaoui who just by “dumb luck” was arrested a month before the 9/11 attacks by agents working out of the FBI’s Minneapolis field office? How many of you know that in a span of one week, over 70 emails were sent by that field office to FBI HQ in DC requesting permission to search Moussaoui’s laptop. These requests were very explicitly denied, which the field agents found absolutely unexpected and strange. Similar scenarios played out between a few other field offices and FBI headquarters in the weeks and months leading up to the attacks of 9/11. The field office in Oklahoma City requested further attention and funds be immediately granted to offices around the country in order to investigate flight training by suspicious individuals. The communications were avoided and then denied. Field agents in New York were repeatedly called off investigations they were conducting into activities relating to the individual who is now said to have been the “ring-leader” of the 9/11 attacks, Mohamed Atta.

    This was just one of the situations which transpired over the past eight years where the conduct of federal agencies revealed an agenda directly contrary to the functions of those agencies. In not one of these cases is the source of these conflicts any mystery. They have always originated from Bush appointees or in some cases, sitting authorities who’ve have demonstrated in other very public ways a loyalty to the Bush Administration above all other responsibilities.

    How many of you would deny that during the past eight years federal agencies have all been handed over to those industries which they are charged with regulating? Now think about how that applies to law enforcement agencies. Who would the Bush Administration hand those agencies over to? Oh, but I;m sure you are all convinced they’d make an exception in this case, right? I mean that would be shear madness, no?

    I think for the most part the vast majority of the general public are incredibly gullible suckers, and you prove it over and over. That doesn’t mean I don’t love y’all. I’m just not sure it makes any real sense for any sane person to put their neck on the line for you fools. God bless those who do though, I guess.

  6. Brackache
    Posted August 29, 2008 at 12:03 pm | Permalink

    I think for the most part the vast majority of the general public are incredibly gullible suckers, and you prove it over and over. That doesn’t mean I don’t love y’all. I’m just not sure it makes any real sense for any sane person to put their neck on the line for you fools. God bless those who do though, I guess.

    I’m willing to bet that at some point, every single American who gives a damn about politics even a little bit has come to this exact same conclusion.

    It’s a philosophy that truly unites us all.

  7. Robert
    Posted August 30, 2008 at 5:43 pm | Permalink

    You are probably right about that Brackache. However, you will notice that you’re the only one responding to my comments on this site.

    It’s one thing for folks not to see some things coming, but not understanding anything in hindsight is fucking pathetic.

  8. Brackache
    Posted August 30, 2008 at 8:32 pm | Permalink

    It’s just a blog. People are doing stuff, or too scared to post something because of the combined might of certain powerhouses of persuasive argument.

  9. Robert
    Posted September 2, 2008 at 9:57 am | Permalink

    I think the liberals that infest this site think anyone who supports the 2nd Amendment must be heavily armed and mentally imbalanced. I’ve certainly done everything I can to reinforce those misconceptions.

  10. mark
    Posted October 27, 2008 at 11:29 pm | Permalink

    More knuckleheads?

  11. Brackache
    Posted October 27, 2008 at 11:49 pm | Permalink

    It seems to me the first batch were a bit more hard core than these myspace ones.

  12. Paw
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 12:17 pm | Permalink

    I know this most recent case is terrible, and I don’t mean to suggest that it isn’t awful, and that these men shouldn’t be locked up forever, but I kind of liked their idea of perpetrating the crimes in white tuxes and top hats.

  13. Brackache
    Posted October 28, 2008 at 6:07 pm | Permalink

    I know what you mean, Paw.

    Here’s something else though: stop and consider for a moment how likely it would be for two kids in white tuxes and top hats to kill 88 people, behead 14 of them, then kill Obama.

    Not fucking likely.

    Now consider how likely it would be for a few older guys with pre-sighted rifles, walkie-talkies, and bullet proof vests to kill Obama.

    We need to reevaluate our criteria for knuckleheadery.

  14. Robert
    Posted November 25, 2009 at 3:56 pm | Permalink

    Apparently, being a “knucklehead” can get you ten years in the pokie.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/07/shawn-adolf-pleads-guilty_n_349611.html

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