According to the Science News, the taint of the human male is shrinking… No word from Phillips yet as to how this may impact the sale of their new line of personal grooming devices. (Check out this persuasive Flash animation of scissors chasing kiwis, if you’re unsure as to what the device is for.)
(I only posted this because 95% of the people that find this site through Google come to it by searching for “ball-shaving” information. (It’s a long story.) Anyway, as long as they’re here, I thought that I might as well be selling them ball-shaving paraphernalia… I just read an article on how to monetize your blog, and I’ve decided that I might as well play the ball-shaving hand that fate has dealt me and focus on the one thing that my readers are willing to pay for – smooth balls. To all of you who don’t care about such things, I am truly sorry.)
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Do I smell a “Save the Taint” campaign in your near future, Mark?
That fruit and blade animation was painful to watch.
As was the video of the creepy guy in the bathrobe.
This would explain why we haven’t heard much from our own Mr. Taint for a while. He’s been busy contracting.
From now on can we call MM.com readers The Smooth Balls?
Deep down, who really doesn’t care about such things?
If any species on the earth deserves extinction, it’s us.
As genocide rages in Dafur, we’re shaving our balls.
As our sons and daughters die in Iraq, we’re concerned with gaining the “optical inch” made possible by “manscaping.”
As people are being tortured in foreign jails, in our name, we’re busy fawning over our smooth taints.
Please, God. Bring the Bird Flu swiftly.
Save it!
Shave it!
It’s perfect for picket signs.
You just need to modify that “optical inch” line to apply to taint.
Fear not friends, my mom was no phthalate junky. And I’m feeling as extended as ever. In fact, I’ve been overextended lately and almost missed this post completely.
As far as the recent studies go, I guess my high school anogenital distance record just might stand in perpetuity.
Glad to know that you’re still with us, Taint. I was getting worried there for a while.
Here’s hoping that you remain expansive, and that your newly born son, little baby Taint, shares in your good fortune.
90th percentile at his 6 week check-up!