curing my gay friends like they were hams

I just wanted to warn all of my homosexual friends out there (“you know who you are”) that I’ve just watched a televison show on “curing” the gay, and I’ve got this itch to try it out. So, the next time you see me, if I either 1) ask you to sit on my lap, or 2) approach you with a tennis racket, and if you don’t want to be cured, you’d better run away. (If you watch this CNN clip those references will make perfect sense.)

And, while we’re on the subject of ridiculous, offensive and ineffective methods to turn gay men straight (while taking a lot of their money in the process, no doubt), wasn’t one of the movement’s most prominent members identified soliciting sex in a gay club not too long ago?

(Thanks to be-OH-be for the link.)

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13 Comments

  1. worldfamousandy
    Posted May 29, 2006 at 10:14 am | Permalink

    This is very creepy, particularly the part where the guy pretends to beat his mother with a tennis racket.

  2. Tony Buttons Esq.
    Posted May 30, 2006 at 1:41 pm | Permalink

    He wasn’t pretending. It was his mother inside the pillowcase.

  3. mark
    Posted May 30, 2006 at 10:12 pm | Permalink

    Due to the overwhelming response this post has gotten from my gay friends, I’ve decided to add “gay curing” to the agenda for the July 15 event. (Just bring your mother in a pillowcase. I’ll provide the racket.)

  4. Ted Glass
    Posted May 31, 2006 at 10:48 am | Permalink

    I made the mistake of having un-cured gay once when I was in college. I had the shits for a week. I learned my lesson.

  5. Posted May 2, 2009 at 5:44 am | Permalink

    I still get the Runs

  6. Posted May 2, 2009 at 2:01 pm | Permalink

    I have tried taking Gravox and hopefully that will thicken it up.

    I am sick of having to sit on a cork.

  7. Posted May 2, 2009 at 3:22 pm | Permalink

    Speaking of curing the gay, I wonder how well that event was attended in Ann Arbor a week or so ago… Did anyone in the MM.com audience attend?

  8. Robert
    Posted May 3, 2009 at 12:48 pm | Permalink

    MM.com needs paid correspondents who we can MAKE do things like attend that gay-cure seminar and review strip club soup & sandwich deals. We need some poor bastard like Dave Letterman used to have years ago with that guy from the Hello Deli. Was his name Rupert?

  9. Posted May 3, 2009 at 12:59 pm | Permalink

    I nominate ytown to be our “Rupert”

  10. stella
    Posted May 3, 2009 at 5:43 pm | Permalink

    Wow, Tony Buttons and Ted Glass. Them was the days.

  11. Posted May 3, 2009 at 8:39 pm | Permalink

    I still love the “It was his mother in the pillowcase” line.

  12. Posted May 3, 2009 at 8:41 pm | Permalink

    Last I’d heard, Buttons and Glass started a law firm in Orlando. They do mostly wrongful termination cases.

  13. feerprert
    Posted November 4, 2009 at 9:08 pm | Permalink

    Hi all wanted to introduce myself!! I look forward to being part of this comunity.

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