Last night, when I jokingly mentioned that I had diarrhea, I wasn’t expecting that it was going to get much, much worse. I thought that it was just a passing thing, having more to do with the fact that I’d eaten breakfast at a greasy spoon, had unrefrigerated leftover chili for lunch, and scarfed down tons of Indian food for dinner, than it did with anything else. I guess it was at about 2:00 AM that things took a dramatic turn toward the worse, and I realized, as I lay doubled over in pain and covered in my own shit, that it really wasn’t all that terribly funny.
For the next twelve hours, I spent my time evenly distributed between the bed and the toilet, occasionally confusing the two in my delirium. I had all the classic symptoms of the flu; the explosive diarrhea, the cold sweats, the excruciating muscle cramps and the dry heaves. It was pretty bad. Fortunately, Linette was willing to bring me water, do laundry as it became necessary and remind me that I probably wans’t going die. I know I don’t say it enough, but she’s one hell of a woman, and I can’t imagine how much more somthing like this would suck if someone were alone…. Anyway, it’s now about 24 hours later and, even though I don’t feel so great, I get the sense that I might be coming down the other side. Urine, at least, has begun coming out of the part of me that it’s supposed to come out of, and I take that as a pretty good sign.
Now I’m headed back to bed.
(If you have it in you to do me a favor, please keep a positive thought for Clementine, Linette, and our recent houseguests. I’d hate to have any of them come down with this.)
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Dude, those are classic symptoms of FOOD POISONING! Unrefrigerated chili? Hel-lo. Yours manifested in diarrhea. Mine usually involves vomit galore. My hub and I had FP at the same time and his came out of his ass, mine came up my throat. But I got over mine faster, about 2 days. He was sick for 5 days. It was from some yummy Zingerman’s deli that was sitting in his car during the afternoon. It was March and he figured it would be fine since it was cold. But it was also a very sunny day. I distinctly remember commenting on the cheese being all nice and yummy because it was warm. I never stopped to think about the deli meat being warm also. Doh! Hope you feel better. Drink lots of fluids!
Mark,
I don’t know you personally, but through your blog I’ve learned a few things about you. If I’m not mistaken you have OCD. From photos I’ve seen you might be a few pounds overweight. You admit to having frequent blood vessels bursting in your eyes due to stress, and I get a general sense that you’re a skittish, nervous person. Some of your posts indicate that you might even have some self-esteem or self-confidence issues. Your three described meals on the day of the diahrea indicate maybe a lack of dietary concern on your part.
I know that I’m just a casual reader of your blog and not a personal friend. I very much enjoy this site, in particular your wonderfully sardonic writing style. But I’m going to hazard a guess that you don’t exercise regularly.
I think this might be part of your problem. I’m suggesting you get a solid, reputable personal trainer in the new year who will kick your ass in the gym four to five times a week. Get a nutrionist to help select your food choices for you and stick to them, and go hard at it for just six weeks. Treat it like fodder for your blog or your articles.
Why do I suggest this? Because I think you might be like I was a few years ago until I got fed up with living my life scared and packing on pounds to insulate myself. I worked my ass off and I lost 60 pounds. Suddenly I didn’t have self esteem issues any more and girls were all over me.
Just my two cents.
Love the blog.
I don’t think it was food poisoning. The chili was in my car, and it was cold out. Plus, Linette had a much tamer version of the same thing a few days before I got hit. (Same swollen stomach and loss of appetite, but without all the painful spewing and all the other crap.)
Anyway, things are better now. I got out of bed at noon today feeling back to normal.
You’re absolutely right about exercise. I need more of it, not only for my physical health, but for my mental health as well. Until the baby came, I was going to the gym three days a week, and I was probably about 20 pounds lighter. I was also doing better panic-wise. Unfortunately, I’ve yet to find a way to work exercise into my post-baby routine…. I used to stop at the gym on my way home from work, but now I just need to come straight home, to do my share of the baby-related work. I could go back out to the gym after the baby goes to bed, but that would mean cutting back on the blogging and all the other evening projects… You’re absolutely right, however. I need to find a solution.
Off topic, but there is a gift I would like to give you. I have been babbling about it for a while. I am reading David Foster Wallace’s “Consider the Lobster”. There is an essay regarding the McCain 2000 campaign trail Wallace signed on for as a reporter for Rolling Stone. You have got to read this, it is as informative as it is hilarious.
May I get this for you? I will purchase it through Amazon. It is a must read.
Mark, OLR has a great point. I would very much like to become your personal trainer and nutrition consultant.
Think of me as a health guru.
I’ve almost come to the point of just handing the keys over to you, Steve, and letting you run the whole thing.
You can just tell me what to eat, say, kill, etc.
I’m tired of making my own decisions. 37 years is long enough.
how brian wilson of you.
if giving up your free will doesn’t work out, think about an exercise bike. you can do that at home. i do it while watching tv. you can get them for about $100 at dicks and probably cheaper on craigs list.
I just gave away an exercise bike which did me no good – but then again neither has the elliptical nor the treadmill. There’s always the time before work (not that I think it’s a viable option, but there are crazy people out there that do that). Good luck!
I’m glad to read that you are up and about. I hope you feel “normal” again soon.