warning: don’t leave your homes!

According to Arbor Update, there was a 6 foot long vagina on UM’s campus this afternoon. I’ve been scanning the news, looking for an eyewitness account, or some mention of property damage, but I can’t seem to find anything.

Here’s a clip from Arbor Update:

SAFE SEX FAIR
Tuesday, April 12
11-4 pm in the Diag
ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!!!

Join in the SAFE SEX OLYMPICS, taste test some FLAVORED CONDOMS, play SEX JEOPARDY, learn how to put a condom on WITH YOUR MOUTH, visit the SEX LIBRARIANS and make sure you walk through the SIX FOOT LONG VAGINA!

Am I the only one thinking, “There’s no fucking way I’m limber enough to put on a condom with my mouth”?

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9 Comments

  1. Posted April 13, 2005 at 12:22 am | Permalink

    Yesterday there was a man in a penis suit on the Diag. I assume it was a man, although I tried to avert my eyes puritanically and avoid getting into a situation where I had to TALK to the penis.

  2. Posted April 13, 2005 at 12:24 am | Permalink

    I wonder who the sex librarians were. I go to library school and, trust me, they’re all sex librarians. HA!

  3. Posted April 13, 2005 at 12:42 am | Permalink

    That sounds dreadful, but I would have loved to take a picture of the giant vagina. And the dude in the penis suit, for that matter. Classic Ann Arbor.

  4. mark
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 7:32 am | Permalink

    Hopefully, the guy in the penis suit was with the rest of them, and not just some random guy who saw an opportunity to dress up like a penis and run through a giant vagina.

  5. Kristin
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 9:04 am | Permalink

    I took a sex ed class, like how to teach safe sex practices, in college. Not only did we learn stunt condom application, we got to bring the zuchini of our choice to practice on. One woman in the class apparently didn’t know why we were bringing said vegetables, and showed up with something crazy large. Like the size of a grown dachsund. She was horrified but the rest of us were impressed.

  6. Twila Barton
    Posted April 13, 2005 at 3:40 pm | Permalink

    This post brought me to tears. You see, I was called “The Six Foot Vagina” all through high shcool. It was absolutely devestating.

    As for putting on a condom with your mouth, I think the secret is using someone else’s cock.

  7. mark
    Posted April 14, 2005 at 7:27 am | Permalink

    Didn’t Godzilla fight a six foot vagina at some point?

  8. Posted April 14, 2005 at 12:27 pm | Permalink

    I never knew they were measured in length. Depth, sure, but not length. Learn something new every day at MM.com!

  9. Tony Buttons
    Posted April 15, 2005 at 9:46 am | Permalink

    The metric system just never caught on in the US as a way to measure vaginas.

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