searching for bobby fischers fillings

Im willing to pay top dollar for Bobby Fischers fillings Let that other guy have Salingers ear and nose hair. I know where the real money is.

The only question is where should I take out my giant, full-page ad… Does anyone in my audience know where Bobby Fischer was when he had them removed? I wonder.

(note: In order to understand what Im talking about you would have had to have 1) read my last post, and 2) know that chess great Bobby Fischer once had the fillings in his teeth removed for fear that people could control his thoughts through them.)

I just saw somewhere in the news today that Japan might be sending him back to the US something about passport violations. I dont know how closely you all follow the life of Bobby Fischer, but its said that he hes been living in Japan these past few years because its a country without many Jews. (It’s difficult to read anything about Bobby Fischer without reading the word “Jews” every few sentences.) Anyway, the paranoid, brilliant, Jew-hating chess master may finally be coming home to face both the outstanding charges against him for playing a tournament in an eastern bloc nation during the cold war, and the many enemies hes made since delivering several hate-filled speeches about the United States, and how we deserved the 9/11 attacks, during his confounding appearances on Manila radio. (Its really amazing listening.)

For those of you who would like to get caught up on the whole Fischer saga, theres a great piece on him in the Atlantic Monthly. I’d like to say that the article is brilliant, but its hard to go wrong when youve got a story that includes a satanical secret world government, a concern over the purity of body fluids, the popping of Mexican rattlesnake pills, and the love of both subservient women and Jack LaLanne Heres a particularly interesting section on the subject of his historic 1972 match against Boris Spassky:

To placate Fischer the third game was played in another room and broadcast to the dismayed audience on closed-circuit television. He won handily. The players returned to the exhibition hall for the rest of the match, and Fischer soon grabbed the lead and held it, albeit still complaining about the presence of cameras (in the end very little of the match was filmed), the surface of the chess board (too shiny), the proximity of the audience (he insisted that the first seven rows of seats be removed), and the ambient noise. Distressed at their countryman’s poor showing, members of the Soviet delegation began to make their own unreasonable demands, hoping to unnerve Fischer. They accused him of using a concealed device to interfere with Spassky’s brain waves. The match was halted while police officers searched the playing hall. Fischer’s chair was taken apart, light fixtures were dismantled, the entire auditorium was swept for suspicious electronic signals. Nothing was found. (In a subsequent investigation a Soviet chemist waved a plastic bag around the stage and then sealed it for lab analysis. The label affixed to the bag read “Air from stage.”)

Welcome home, Bobby.