tonight in ypsilanti

I was stuck at work like Id been lassoed with worm-like sperms chords.*

And I still ended up bringing home a lot of work from the office tonight. So, there wasnt much time to Blog. I am sorry.

Actually, thats not entirely true. It wasnt just the work that kept me from blogging. There was also the season debut of 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter (I had to see how they would explain the presence of John Ridder’s ghost) and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

I also checked my email.

Mr. Smallwood is back from his vacation in New Hampshire, where he tried to track down the elusive JD Salinger. He wrote a terrific letter and I wanted to post it here tonight, but then I thought that Id try instead to fit it into the new issue Crimewave somehow. Were out of space, but maybe Ill relinquish one of the pages that I was holding for the Iggy Pop interview, which Virgin hasnt come through with.

Mr. Smallwood did, however, include something else though, something that I am willing to share, something that I would never put in my magazine. Actually, Im not going to subject you to the entire thing, but heres a clip:

Constipation is a feature of multiple sclerosis in 43-53% of cases,1,2 and is often due to paradoxical contraction of the puborectalis during defecation.3,4 The contraction results in anal outlet obstruction and repeated straining during attempted defaecation. The absence of lower motor neurone involvement, combined with the presence of normal fibre density in the external anal sphincter, and normal terminal motor latencies of the pudendal nerve, would suggest that the paradoxical puborectalis contraction is due to a corticospinal lesion.3 We are not aware of any other reports of constipation as the presenting complaint of multiple sclerosis.

Methinks Mr. Smallwood is trying to scare me into thinking that I have MS, something I already spend too much time worrying about. That isnt nice.

What was nice, however, was his belated entry to the What Would George Bush be Doing Today if He Werent Born a Bush contest.

Barium Enema Technician

I know it came in late, but if no one objects, Id like to send Mr. Smallwood the gift wed set aside for the runner-up, the used latex glove that I found in front of my house.

(* That marks my fifth use of the phrase today.)

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