saved by a bird in the ass

I jogged today. I try to jog a few times a week. This time, while jogging, I had a bit of a panic attack. This one was set-off by something I smelled. There I was, in the middle of the woods, when I smelled something purple. It wasnt really a grape scent. It didnt smell grape. It smelled purple, like manufactured purple foods tend to smell. It smelled like grape bubblegum and grape soda. It was really strong too. As there was nothing around, not a lingering chemical cloud, not even a single purple flower, I became convinced that the smell was caused by some kind of misfiring in my brain. I thought that I was having a stroke.

Fortunately, a minute or so into the attack, a woman jogged past me with something that shocked me out of my fatalistic thinking. She had a huge tattoo on the small of her back that looked like a raven had its head caught in her ass. I could definitely make out wings and feathers. They seemed to be fluttering in some kind of a death spasm. There were what seemed to be legs and claws too. Everything was twitching around and it all led into the crack of her ass. Im not sure what she was trying to say, but it was just what the doctor ordered.

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