the thick layer of lard

I need to be less ambitious about all the stuff I post links to. The Debris Sandwich that I try to construct for you all every night has gotten to be too unwieldy for me to carry through the kitchen each night. Its approaching Dagwoodian proportions. I will have to get it under control in the near future. Its hard to do though with so much going on in the world. Every time I get ready to throw the top of the sub roll on and call it quits, something else comes to my attention… Anyway, heres some more stuff. Im calling this layer the thick layer of lard.

Syria shits pants: Syria prepares itself not to be the host the next Olympics, but to be the host of the next big ass kicking. I heard Rumsfeld say yesterday that he has good evidence not only that Syria has aided Iraq, but that they also have hidden Weapons of Mass Destruction. I guess that argument worked so well the first time that they thought theyd give it another shot. Thats confidence. They arent even waiting to find the Weapons of Mass Destruction in one country before moving on to the next with the same argument. Actually, its even more interesting than that. Rumsfeld suggested that if they dont find biological and chemical weapons in Iraq, its probably because theyve already been moved to Syria It takes huge balls to come up with stuff like that.

Im thinking that perhaps all of my tattoos and facial piercings dont make enough of an anti-establishment statement these days. Im weighing my options as to whats next. Here are two ideas that Im giving somewhat serious consideration to. The first is called penectomy. The second is called head splitting. Again, I wish I had the technology to put this up for a vote so that all of you, the readers of MM.com, could help me make this exciting decision.

A young man named Dave Morris wrote in today to make sure we all saw the article on Saddams bachelor pad. (My favorite part was the poster of the busty blond in chains, being attacked by the dragon. Unlike anything else Id seen to this point, it made Saddam seem like a real person to me. Now I kind of feel sorry for him. In my mind now, instead of thinking of him as a tyrant who had his enemies thrown into wood chippers, Im seeing him as a teenager with long greasy hair and a bad complexion who works nights at a gas station.)

And this was the best thing Ive seen left on someones on-line guestbook lately: Cunt Cunt Bo Bunt….Banana Fana Fo FUnt…..me mi mo munt……..CUNT.”

Tomorrow youll have to get the paper yourself. I really cant keep it up. I cant post all this stuff. I dont have the energy to write anything else.

The new Bush Energy bill does not call for automakers to raise fuel efficiency standards and, once again, calls for drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Its fucking ridiculous And I found this funny. A bunch of folks were apparently ripped off when they bought tickets to a nanotech (the next bubble) investment conference that didnt really exist.

I see the end. Its in sight.

An electric rat trip kills man with electric fish killer And, lastly, someone posted this to Jeffs site a few days ago. Its a story about a security camera tour of New York City. Im planning a trip to New York in June and Id like to go.

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