OK, I paid for fifteen more minutes in hope that Linette would write something… Lots of people sent emails and said that they liked hearing from her, so I thought I’d ask her to join us again. Actually, I’ve asked her to become a regular here, with your permission.
As a sign of committment, I have even provided her with the code to access this blog account. Now, she can chime in when ever she likes.
OK, I’m going to go over and get her now. Are you ready?
Fuck. There is so much I want to tell you all. My notebook is just overflowing with stories… But this place charges by the minute and I don’t do well under pressure. I don’t have my notebook here either, so I have to rely on my brain, a brain that happens to be a bit overloaded right now. Oh, I do want to tell you that before we left the US, Linette and I bought a digital camera and we’ve been trying to take some low-res photos for the web so that we can post them when we get home… So, you have that to look forward to.
Florence is great, by the way. Our room looks right out on the Doumo.The view is incredible.
Oh, speaking of the Doumo, we walked around to the top of the dome this evening and I had a massive panic attack. It sucked. The combination of the of the caffeine from the coffee that I drank just before and my fear of heights, along with the fact that my stomach was empty… It all combined to spell disaster as I was sliding myself, about four stories up, along the inside of the dome, looking out on graphic depictions of hell… Fuck, the screen is blinking. That means I’m running out of time. Have to go now. Bye.
Hi, this is Mark. I just wanted to let you all know that Linette and I are still alive and well. We’re in Florence now, at an internet cafe… the kind that terrorists use to keep up with the activities of their cells and such. I’m sitting here next to Linette. We only paid for half an hour, so it’ll have to be fast… or I’ll have to give up some more cash.
Speaking of cash, I was hoping that US dollars would buy more Euros. As it is, at least today, you only get 97 Euro cents for a good, old American dollar. It’s criminal…
Speaking of America, I’ve been thinking a lot about how stupid we are as a people. I think this occurs to me every time I’m in Europe, but it’s true. I’m sure I’ll forget it in a month or so, but I swear it’s the truth. We are, as a people, pretty fucking cut off from the rest of the world. We’re arrogant and petty, and we drive big cars. I’m not saying we deserve the wrath of Alah, but maybe a little gentle ribbing for time to time… Fuck, I don’t want to get political here. I’m sorry about that. I still love my country. I’m just mad at myself for not knowing at least one foreign language. I tried to learn French in college, but I just didn’t try hard enough. I regret that now. I’m ashamed… It seems that most folks here know at least four… OK, I want to send this before I get kicked off. If the guy doesn’t come around, I’ll post some more. I love you all. Keep giving me those good ratings. I’ve just heard that we’re the number 735 site this week in the key demographic of wealthy midwestern agorophobic young women ages 18 to 35.
My god smile upon you for the rest of your short, short life,
Mark
hi this is linette. italy is beautiful. we are now in varenna on a lake, a tiny town of just 800 people. it is right on the edge of the water, the dolemites and switzerland are just beyond… it is cool, almost cold beautiful and crisp fall weather and we are writing from a tiny hotel, really someone,s house and getting ready to take a ferry to belaggio, a fancier town across the lake. our italian is still bad, and we do a lot of mumbling and pointing, but somehow, we are managing to get to where we want to go. here, i,ll pass the keyboard to mark now… we are having fun and all is well except for mark,s back which is causing him to grimace a lot…
hi, this is mark. my back is killing me. i threw is out in milan. i wrenched it good. it is killing me… i dont think that i will make it. woe is me!!! do you all feel sorry for me, here in an italian paradise? as bad as it is to have a back ache like this, i would rather have this than be at work, or, for that matter, anywere in michigan. it is quite lovely here and the people all have nice butts.
it,s linette again. before you start feeling bad for mark and his back injury, you should know that he is carrying things like one pound of sunflower seeds from michigan, a full gallon (in two bottles) of non carbonated water because it makes him cry to drink water “with gas” or “frizzomo”, about a pound of unread
I wanted to tell you so many things before we left. I wanted to tell you about how my glasses broke and about how the woman who helped me at the one-hour glasses place looked like the woman from the TV show Alias, only with a great big butt and a head shaped like a kidney bean. I wanted to tell you about my visit to the Old Country Buffet for lunch the other day and how I saw a table of obese people create their own buffet table, off to the side of the one that everyone else used. They had plates heaping with fried chicken and mashed potatoes sitting on a table next to the one they were eating at. Instead of visiting the regular buffet, like the rest of us, they would just amble a few steps over to their private buffet. Oh, and I wanted to tell you about the dent in the van I rented and how it was all my fault and how I learned a few lessons about not trying to be funny and not assuming that insurance was covered just becasue I was paying with an American Express card. Fuck. There’s so much I want to tell you, but the plane leaves in just a few hours and I need to finish cleaning for our company… You see, when we’re away in Italy, we have a friend staying here in our house. She a friend of ours from Detroit who has a big art show coming up on October 30 and she needed some space to work. We’re letting her stay here. It’s great for us. She can take care of the cats and frighten away the crack heads.
So, here’s the plan. We fly from Detroit to Amsterdam, then we fly from Amsterdam to Milan. We do two nights in Milan and then head up toward the alps. We have a reservation for one night on Lake Cuomo, a town called Varenna. Then it’s on to Florence, then Venice, then Cinque Terre, a series of five (cinque) towns on the western coast of Italy. Then we’re going to backpack around in Tuscany for a little while, visit Sienna, Pompeii and a few other places, and ultimately wind up in Rome where we’ll be pick-pocketed. I’m convinced of that, but it’ll be OK. We won’t have any money by then…. Once we’re done in Rome, we’re on a flight back to good old Detroit.
So, that’s the plan. I hope to be updating here when I get the chance, so stay tuned. Also, I think I’ve convinced Linette to leave her thoughts here as well. We’ll see if it actually happens.
As for all of the other stories, I promise I’ll tell them when I get back.
Hugs and kisses to the people of the world,
Mark
