Why does Jerry Seinfeld want bad drivers relocated to Ypsilanti?

While I don’t dislike Jerry Seinfeld, I’m not exactly a fan of his web series Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. I feel, however, as though I need to at least mention that, on an upcoming episode, he apparently mentions Ypsilanti by name, thereby joining a short list of celebrities including Elvis Costello, who, for whatever inexplicable reason, have felt compelled to namecheck our odd, little city over the past several years. [And, yes, he mispronounces it.] If you should happen to know how it came to pass that Seinfeld mentioned Ypsilanti instead of, say, Embarrass, Minnesota, or Hygiene, Colorado, please let me know… Here’s the clip in question.

“I do not like the way you are driving. Please give me your license and move to Ypsilanti, Michigan.” – Jerry Seinfeld

My hope is that he just chose to single us out because our city has an interesting sounding name, or that it was the result of one last, desperate Pure Michigan ad campaign buy, but you never know. Maybe something happened to him at some point in his life to make him really believe that all bad drivers should be banished to Ypsilanti. Or, worse yet, maybe this is all part of the Jade Helm rollout. Maybe Ypsilanti has been designated as the location of the federal Bad Driver Detention Facility, and this is how they’ve chosen to break the news to us. Maybe, over the course of the next several weeks, we’ll see other pop culture icons jokingly suggesting that bad drivers be sent to Ypsilanti, that people who slow down grocery store lines be sent to Embarrass, Minnesota, that people who wear too much makeup be sent to Hygiene, Colorado, etc. Maybe, my friends, this is how the real world Hunger Games begin.

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5 Comments

  1. Anonymous
    Posted June 25, 2015 at 7:34 am | Permalink

    Maybe this is one of 50 different promo videos and each one uses the name of a town in a different state.

  2. Joe Montgomery
    Posted June 25, 2015 at 9:23 am | Permalink

    All of your theories here are plausible.

  3. Betty Davis
    Posted June 25, 2015 at 9:25 am | Permalink

    bill maher is a big freak

  4. Tony Buttons
    Posted June 25, 2015 at 9:38 am | Permalink

    District 1: people with ironic tattoos
    District 2: super freaks
    District 3: bad drivers
    District 4: Kid Rock fans
    District 5: Juggalos
    District 6: breeders and their larvae
    District 7: ball shavers

  5. Lynne
    Posted June 25, 2015 at 10:52 am | Permalink

    Wait. Isn’t he from California? Seriously, the drivers there are the worst. I have never seen so many left lane parkers in my entire life. I suspect that by “bad” drivers, he actually means those who respect other drivers by using the left lane for passing.

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