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Acknowledging the incredible suffering of our ancestors
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For all of my complaining about the state of modern humanity, I often find myself thinking just how truly lucky we are, from a historical perspective, to be living on earth right now. Tonight, I was thinking about this as I stood in the shower. It occurred to me just how incredible the idea would have been even a few hundred years ago. What serf living under feudalism, I wondered, wouldn’t love, on a cold night such as this, after having worked an entire day in the field, to come home to a hot shower? And this, in turn, got me thinking about time travel, and what elements of modern society, if we could somehow carry them back in time, would be most valued by our distant ancestors. How, I wondered, would their hierarchy of needs factor into their decision if I presented them with three modern conveniences, and asked them to choose one. What if, for instance, I offered a shower that promised unlimited hot water, an internet connection offering all of the purient filth produced by mankind since the advent of the photograph, or access to modern canned goods. I’d like to think that everyone would choose access to safe, preserved food over the instant accessibility of hardcore filth or the fleeting comfort that a shower provides, but I’m not so sure.
[note: I only decided to post this when I realized that I’d be able to use the tags “time travel, food preservation, porn” altogether.]
The only time I ever cried for my father, God rest his sole, is when I learned that he used to have to masturbate to issues of National Geographic.
I saw this exact same scene play out at the Jersey Shore several times in my youth.
The plague wasn’t the worst part of the middle ages. It was the quality of the porn. Me, before they could masturbate, would have to draw dirty images with charcoal.
As for the image you’re using here, I think it’s from the Jersey Shore prequel.
And it’s better to have seen that scene play out several times in your youth, Mike, than in your mouth.
Modern porn is far superior.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=304918936288039&set=pb.111057052340896.-2207520000.1351989535&type=3&theater
If only our founding fathers had access to the Justin Bieber sex doll.
http://gawker.com/5957776/shocker-the-justin-bieber-sex-doll-is-unofficial