Historically incorrect historic reenactment on the streets of Portland over fried pies

I spent the past two days in Portland, on a super-secret mission that I hope to tell you about sometime soon. In the meantime, though, I wanted to share this video that I shot of my old friend Dave Miller and I talking this morning, over breakfast. [I stayed with Dave and his family while I was in Portland.] For those of you who might not be inclined to watch this, as it features two relatively uninteresting middle-aged men consuming savory salami handpies on a relatively quiet street, I should mention that our conversation revolves around the tabloidtastic 1994 attack of figure skater Nancy Kerrigan. As you’ll recall, Kerrigan was attacked with a billy club as she exited Detroit’s Cobo Hall by Shane Stant, a man hired by Kerrigan’s Olympic rival, Tanya Harding, and her ex-husband Jeff Gillooly. His task, as outlined on a napkin in a seedy Portland watering hole, was to break the kneecaps of the beloved ice skater.

It’s worth noting that Kerrigan’s knee was not, in fact, broken, but just severely bruised. She went on to win a silver medal in the Lillehammer games, while Harding finished eighth. Harding has since gone on to have an illustrious career in novelty boxing.

[note: As I learned while on this trip, there’s now a rock opera based upon the relationship between Kerrigan and Harding.]

update: As it’s been pointed out in the comments section, the plans for kneecapping Nancy Kerrigan were likely not drawn up at the Dockside, over beers, as Dave suggests. It sounds as though the plans were merely left in a bag outside the bar’s dumpster, where they were found by an employee.

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  1. Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:04 am | Permalink

    I’m sorry for the terrible quality of this post. The video was a mess to begin with, and it didn’t help that I used this as an opportunity to learn iMovie. Also, I did this with no sleep, about half way into a 15 hour travel day.

  2. Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:05 am | Permalink

    The hand pies were really good, in case that doesn’t come through.

  3. Posted June 27, 2012 at 6:06 am | Permalink

    If I had an opportunity to do it over again, I would have gone to Dockside and done a real reenactment. I think that would be super fun.

  4. anonymous
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 7:37 am | Permalink

    This site needs a dedicated video team. You could go do good stuff if.

    And I hope the tag “savory handpie” gets used more often.

  5. DanR.
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 9:10 am | Permalink

    I get a message that the video is private. Maybe I’m better off.

  6. Eel
    Posted June 27, 2012 at 10:58 am | Permalink

    Watching this video, I’m pretty sure, is what it’s like to experience an aneurysm.

  7. Gary Clark
    Posted July 2, 2012 at 3:41 am | Permalink

    I was in Joe Louis Arena when this happened. It occurred just after a practice as Nancy was exiting the ice. Her famous cry “why, why , why ME?” echoed throughout the facility aided by the acoustical effect of the concrete hallway. This incident did more to raise T V ratings for the Olympic Figure skating events that year and for figure skating events in years to come than anything in recent memory including the Salt Lake City judges cheating scandal!! Where is boxer Tonja now to punch Alyssia Cizsny in the nose and restart her career?

One Trackback

  1. By Why can’t Michigan vote like Oregon? on November 7, 2012 at 10:26 pm

    […] vote like Oregon?By Mark | November 7, 2012Remember how, a few months ago, I posted video of myself eating a fried pie on the street in Portland, while talking with a guy about the plotting of the 199…? Well, that guy… a former Michigander by the name of Dave Miller… has asked that I […]

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