Hucakabee on 9/11… Commoditization as the final stage of grief

A few months ago, I told you about Mike Huckabee’s latest venture into online education. If you don’t recall, it’s basically a poorly animated American history video series being peddled to the patriotically frothing Tea Party set so that they can see their young loved ones educated without either the corrupting “filter” of professional educators, or the often confusing complexities of… you know… actual history. Well, it seems as though Huckabee might have pushed things a bit too far with his most recent $9.95 module, which is being rolled out just in time for the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. Here’s the promotional video:

If you can believe it, it would seem that some think it’s still too soon to cash in on the deaths of the thousands of Americans who died that morning. Personally, I think 10 years is long enough to sit by on the sidelines, waiting for the right time to spin tragedy into gold. I think Huckabee is to be commended, actually, for waiting until now. I happen to know for a fact that he had an incredible idea for a cuckoo clock a few years ago that, every hour, on the hour, would pop out the tail section of a plane amid the sounds of breaking glass and fuel tanks exploding, and send a tiny man leaping to his heroic death, with an American flag in one hand, and a Bible in the other. A lot of lesser men would have run right to QVC. Not Huckabee, though. He waited patiently for the grieving process to run its course.

Anyway, it has to happen sooner or later. As we all know from Psychology 101, commoditization is the final stage of grief, and we have to get though it if we ever hope to fully heal as a nation. I say, now’s the time. And I think Huckabee is just the man to lead us to closure.

As for this video clip above, I don’t know if I’m understanding it correctly. Do our young time traveling protagonists send a fly into the White House carrying some sort of listening device? And, if so, wouldn’t that kind of make them… uhhh… evil doers? Or is it OK to eavesdrop on national security briefings if you know, deep down in your heart, that you’re a patriot? If someone could explain it, I’d appreciate it.

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  1. dragon
    Posted August 4, 2011 at 11:10 pm | Permalink

    I too thought this was another shameless grift by the Huckster until I found out that his wife was selflessly donating her time to helping those firefighters suffering without health care, by opening a clinic to “pray away that day”.
    Praise Jesus.

  2. Bob Krzewinski
    Posted August 5, 2011 at 6:17 am | Permalink

    I think what those kids had the bee carry into the White House was the transmitting device that George Bush had on during one of the Kerry debates. He probably was instructed to wear it all the time and the kids were just helping him out.

  3. Edward
    Posted August 5, 2011 at 7:31 am | Permalink

    I’m just mad that I didn’t think of this “Time Travel Academy” thing first. It’s brilliant. While the Republicans are destroying our public schools, they spread the belief that our teachers “hate America,” and then Huckabee and friends come out with these for-profit cartoons, that are probably made with prison labor in China, for pennies, and sell them to the viewers of Fox News on their sacred holiday of 9-11. It’s the whole Republican agenda rolled up into one pretty package.

  4. Posted August 5, 2011 at 7:42 am | Permalink

    Has anyone noticed that the “Time Cycle” logo looks like a beer ad?

    “Attacked by Anti-American Muslim Terrorists!”

    What an asshole.

  5. Mr. X
    Posted August 5, 2011 at 7:59 am | Permalink

    And, twice a day, when the clock reaches 9:11, you hear a cacophony of jingoistic phrases, like “America, love it or leave it” and “they hate us because of our freedom”, shouted over the sounds of fireworks exploding and cash registers ringing.

  6. Bob
    Posted August 5, 2011 at 8:22 am | Permalink

    The animation quality is better than most of the Nickelodeon stuff like Dora the Explorer though.

  7. Posted August 5, 2011 at 8:33 am | Permalink

    The fly is very odd. And why weren’t they talking about Saddam Hussein in the meeting?

  8. Kim
    Posted August 5, 2011 at 8:55 am | Permalink

    Maybe the fly carrying the box is a reoccurring character. Maybe it started as a conservative maggot, feeding on the rotting flesh of a homeless person.

    I also found it odd that they neglect to mention that Osama was found during the Obama administration. They show the Bush team meeting, and, the next thing you know, there’s a wanted poster with Osama’s face on it, and the word “DECEASED” stamped across it.

  9. Mr. X
    Posted August 5, 2011 at 9:05 am | Permalink

    I wonder if they include the scene where Bush, while on vacation, is handed a national security brief entitled, “Bin Ladin Determined To Strike in US”, and decides not to act on it.

  10. Allen
    Posted August 6, 2011 at 2:35 pm | Permalink

    Forget Huckabee and his propaganda 9/11 cartoon (about as accurate as the 9/11 Commission Report). Don’t waste your hard-earned money, instead read a BANNED 9/11 book like “America Deceived II” by a real rebel and the “World’s Most Hated Author”, E.A. Blayre III.
    Last link (before Google Books bans it also]:

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  1. […] pack kids in classrooms of 60, and have poorly paid script readers prepare them for tests between film strips of questionable educational value, but it just doesn’t work. What works, as we well know, is hiring great teachers, putting […]

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