My First Tat Gun

So, am I just a being an old man, or is this a really bad idea?


I wonder if it comes with a little, My First Case of Hep-C prescription bottle full of candy.

On the bright side, it could be worse. At least they don’t show little girls getting “tramp stamps” above their butt cracks, or kids tattooing their faces like Mike Tyson.

So, if not here, where do you draw the line? Is a pole dancing kit for kids OK? After all, I’m told it’s good exercise.

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  1. Stella M
    Posted October 24, 2010 at 10:03 am | Permalink

    Was eating “Incredible Edibles” or candy lipstick great? Isn’t soda manufactured in the fourth level of Hell? Did I inhale dangerous level of toxic fumes from napalming little plastic army dudes? BFD. I drew all over myself all the time as a kid. It’s probably better to have ink that is actually meant for drawing on the body.
    Also it’s never, ever a “tattoo GUN” it’s a machine or an iron.

  2. Sandy D.
    Posted October 24, 2010 at 11:27 am | Permalink

    You’re being an old man. But that’s ok, you are old and entitled to yell “Get off my lawn!”

  3. Chelsea L.
    Posted October 25, 2010 at 6:56 am | Permalink

    Yow. That pole dancing kit reminded me of Aykroyd’s SNL Irwin Mainway character, imitated here:

    (BTW, don’t spread this around, but: I am old enough to remember candy cigarettes. Double “yow!”)

  4. Edward
    Posted October 25, 2010 at 7:24 am | Permalink

    We sell toy guns to kids, and have been since the beginning of time. Everything else pales in comparison, doesn’t it?

  5. Christine M
    Posted October 25, 2010 at 8:47 am | Permalink

    Does this make me a child’s tattoo artist because I like to paint their faces?

  6. TeacherPatti
    Posted October 25, 2010 at 9:03 am | Permalink

    Chelsea, I remember candy cigarettes too! I had a “party like it’s the 1950s party” about three years ago and bought some candy cigarettes…HUGE hit! Turns out we are all would-be smokers!

  7. John Galt
    Posted October 25, 2010 at 9:52 am | Permalink

    We’re raising a nation of pussified boys. They should be able to play with whatever they damned well please, and they should be able to bully, mercilessly. Boys should have access to real guns and ammunition, battery acid, and any other thing they want.

  8. Kristin
    Posted October 25, 2010 at 11:41 am | Permalink

    What about the temporary tattoos that come in Cracker Jack? Is it less problematic when it’s applied with a washcloth?

  9. Knox
    Posted October 25, 2010 at 12:59 pm | Permalink

    Maybe we should make these available to kids for free so that they’ll get it out of their systems at a young age. Same goes for cigarettes.

  10. Ypsiosaurus Wrecks
    Posted October 25, 2010 at 4:29 pm | Permalink

    Kinda funny – but if it inspires kids to be creative – then it’s a good thing. Plus I think we need to get past the sterotype of those with tattoos as being anti-social gangter/outcasts. Tattoos have been around for thousands of years as evidenced by the Ice Man found in the Austrian alps. Time to evolve our thinking…

    Mark, would you prefer a home brewing kit for your daughter?

  11. Posted October 25, 2010 at 8:04 pm | Permalink

    I didn’t mean to demonize tattoos. Word is, I’ve got a few of my own. I just have an issue with our culture and the way it pushes kids to grow up too quickly…. And by “grow up” I don’t mean in a good way. It’s not like we push them to be more responsible. We just want them to consume earlier. And, of course, we want to sexualize the girls earlier. A tat gun more or less isn’t going to make that much of a difference, but I think it’s cumulative. We’ve got heels for toddlers now, for fuck’s sake.

  12. Lack Skin Sum
    Posted October 25, 2010 at 9:33 pm | Permalink

    A number of folks have pointed out “worse” things. For the record, pointing out worse things doesn’t make less worse things okay:

    “Kids play with guns … are tattoos worse than guns?”


    “Men have been beating their wives to death for ages, I just slap mine around a little now and then to keep her in place.”

    On the plus side, I’ve always thought men with tattoos seemed like vain little girls primping and decorating themselves for another man’s approval. It is nice to have some commercial validation that tattoos are pretty much equivalent to sparkle nail polish and Barbie beach clothes.

  13. Posted October 25, 2010 at 11:05 pm | Permalink

    Great point, LSS. Please come back and comment again. We could use someone like you on the team.

  14. Steve Swan
    Posted October 26, 2010 at 4:06 pm | Permalink

    If I were a child, I would want this more.

    (Totally Work Safe)

  15. Dudley
    Posted October 26, 2010 at 9:38 pm | Permalink

    World largest gummy worm…. Steve… You got issues… That’s bizarre and looks like a dildo….even the marketing is sexual.

  16. Liz Uy
    Posted November 4, 2010 at 7:31 am | Permalink

    Look for My First Labiaplasty this Xmas.

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