congratulations cuz

When I saw this photo on the web today, my first impulse was to send my cousin Shane a letter of congratulations. That’s him, on the left, with the whistle in his mouth. After years of paying his dues and officiating high school basketball games in front of mobs of angry parents, I thought, he must have finally gotten his shot at officiating big college games. But then I realized that, in this photo, the guys playing against each other aren’t from opposing teams. They’re both from the University of Kentucky. Now I’m trying to figure out if this was staged. I’m wondering if somehow, in spite of my many lectures on the subject, Shane has gone and gotten himself mixed up in professional modeling…

[note: Doesn’t the guy in the blue shirt look remarkably like the Ben Stiller character Simple Jack.]

Whatever the circumstances of this photo, Shane is entitled to congratulations. Regardless of whether he’s officiating big college games, or just pretending to, he’s turned out to be a hell of a good guy, and he’s engaged to be married next year to a woman who appears to be a pretty decent woman herself. I couldn’t be more proud of him.

update: My grandmother confirms that the photo wasn’t staged. He is officiating college ball. This shot was taken during a University of Kentucky scrimmage at the beginning of the season.

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  1. Posted December 16, 2008 at 10:39 pm | Permalink

    Thanks, Mark!

  2. Anonymatt
    Posted December 17, 2008 at 8:16 am | Permalink

    Did Shane grow up to be taller than you or are you still the tallest cousin?

  3. Ol' E Cross
    Posted December 18, 2008 at 12:22 am | Permalink

    Why is it I don’t find it hard to imagine someone sharing Mark’s lineage running around the court and puffing loudly in whistle every time he perceives someone committed a “foul”?

  4. Paw
    Posted December 18, 2008 at 5:20 pm | Permalink

    I find it hard imagining someone with Mark’s lineage leaving his home, let alone running around in front of thousands.

  5. mepatrickyounot
    Posted December 19, 2008 at 6:33 am | Permalink

    Do you think your cousin would like a part in my new movie starring Harvey Keitel and Jack Nicholson? It’s called “Purity Balls”.

  6. mark
    Posted December 20, 2008 at 8:32 pm | Permalink

    Anonymatt, I’m not sure, but I think that Shane and I are about the same height. I’ll most likely see him at some point over the holidays, though, so I can check. I’ll report back.

  7. Anonymatt
    Posted December 22, 2008 at 5:22 pm | Permalink

    I just remember when I was at a Maynard family gathering in the late 90s the subject of Shane possibly ending up taller than you was brought up by your relatives several times. I had assumed that this was a big topic of discussion, but it could have been just a way for your Mom and grandmother to get a rise out of you that day.

    for the record, I think I’m the tallest cousin in my Dad’s family, but I’m definitely not the tallest in my Mom’s. One of my cousins is 6’5″.

    congratulations to Shane on his job and engagement.

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