something’s still the matter with kansas

My friend Eric just sent this to me. A guy he knows in Lawrence, Kansas just snapped it and sent it to him. I’m told that this particular church misspells stuff all the time. In this particular case, I think they may have invented a new word by mashing-up “virgin” and “vagina.” It seems like maybe there should be a special word for that, doesn’t it? Wouldn’t it be useful, say, in telling the story of the immaculate conception?

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  1. egpenet
    Posted December 18, 2007 at 12:02 am | Permalink

    Pick One:

    Spoonerism (slips of the tongue)… example: flutterby instead of butterfly … ossifer for officer … etc.

    Mondegreens (slips of the ear) … example:
    (Correct lyric) There’s a bad moon on the rise … vs. what some hear: There’s a bathroom on the right.

    Eggcorns (word useage errors) … example:
    duck tape for duct tape … chomping at the bit, rather than champing at the bit.

    Malapropisms (actual word changes) … He is at the very pineapple of power, rather than, He is the very pinnacle of his power … or Bush’s: “nucular power pants” (which he said) vs. nuclear power plants.

    If you agree with me that it’s NONE OF THE ABOVE, then … we may, in fact, need a NEW word to describe where a single new word is created from the accidental or deliberate combination of two perfectly good words … Virginia and Vagina … adding serious or humorous character to a phrase, thought or sentence.

    I just Googled my idea and there is NO MATCH! And so, I suggest … “dupull” and “dupulled” and “dupulling” …

    DEFINITION: A “dupull” is a single new word created (pulled together) through the accidental or deliberate combination of two (duet) perfectly good words, adding serious or humorous character to a thought, phrase, or sentence.

    Anyone? Let’s wiki this …

  2. Posted December 18, 2007 at 6:31 am | Permalink

    That’s funny eg. Does anyone have any more examples of a dupull?

  3. Huckett
    Posted December 18, 2007 at 9:28 am | Permalink

    One hears “severiously” now and then.

  4. Ol' E Cross
    Posted December 18, 2007 at 10:19 am | Permalink

    Our current president is a master of dupullicity.

  5. egpenet
    Posted December 18, 2007 at 10:37 am | Permalink

    The challenge of a dupull is the “implication of a condition or circumstance.”

    For instance …

    “Virgina” … is a new one, clearly.

    “Vergina” … is a middle-aged one, on the verge, yet true to its nature.

    … and by removing one letter, which is actually, contrary to the essence of a “dupull” … you can get …

    “Vegina” … which is strictly organic and requires some vinegar and oil, salt and pepper …

    Keep thinking …

  6. karen
    Posted December 18, 2007 at 11:25 am | Permalink

    I was with you up until you got to the part about seasoning vaginas for consumption, Ed.

  7. Posted December 18, 2007 at 11:36 am | Permalink

    Lewis Carroll called them “portmanteau words”: like his own coinage, “chortling,” which is chuckling + snorting. That’s the usual term, kept in homage to Carroll, but it’s pretty Victorian. “Dupull” sounds good to me!

  8. egpenet
    Posted December 18, 2007 at 1:01 pm | Permalink


    Check out last week’s NYT Magazine section on Great Ideas … for the letter “V” they wrote a bit on vegan-sex, namely, vegans who prefer other vegans … except in the case wheree a vegan converts a meat-eater to veganism, then drops the convert and uses his/her sex to convert another.

    I’d add pine nuts and kalamata olives, if you don’t mind.

  9. Gretchen
    Posted December 18, 2007 at 2:33 pm | Permalink

    If he were alive today we would be seeing Mr. Carroll on Dateline’s To Catch A Predator. I hardly think that his opinion is worth consideration.

  10. Posted December 18, 2007 at 4:06 pm | Permalink

    Alas, the term “portmanteau word” has been around for quite some time, and is in most dictionaries. You’d better get busy with those letters, Gretchen. And how’s the campaign to ban Lewis Carroll’s books going?

  11. John on Forest
    Posted December 21, 2007 at 9:42 pm | Permalink

    having trouble posting

  12. John on Forest
    Posted December 21, 2007 at 9:48 pm | Permalink

    Here is the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

  13. John on Forest
    Posted December 21, 2007 at 9:49 pm | Permalink

    1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

  14. John on Forest
    Posted December 21, 2007 at 9:49 pm | Permalink

    2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

    3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

    4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

    5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

    6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

    7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

    8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

  15. John on Forest
    Posted December 21, 2007 at 9:55 pm | Permalink

    9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

    10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

  16. egpenet
    Posted December 21, 2007 at 9:56 pm | Permalink

    Fabulish, JoF!

    (Fabulous + relish = It’s great and I like it a lot.)

  17. John on Forest
    Posted December 21, 2007 at 10:00 pm | Permalink

    12. Karmageddon: It’s when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it’s a serious bummer.

  18. John on Forest
    Posted December 21, 2007 at 10:01 pm | Permalink

    13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

    14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

    15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

    16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

    17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

    18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

  19. John on Forest
    Posted December 21, 2007 at 10:02 pm | Permalink

    The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

    And the winners are:

    1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.

    2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight
    one has gained

    3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

    4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.

    5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.

    6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

    7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.

    8.gargoyle,n.olive-flavored mouthwash.

    9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

    10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.

    11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.

    12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by

    13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.

    14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with

    15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul
    flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

    16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn
    by Jewish men.

  20. John on Forest
    Posted December 21, 2007 at 10:06 pm | Permalink

    Ok, sorry for the mulitple posts on this. I couldn’t find the invalid character that wouldn’t let me just cut and paste. I never could get number 11 to work, even just retyping it now.

  21. egpenet
    Posted December 21, 2007 at 11:01 pm | Permalink

    Ain’t English phun?!

  22. John on Forest
    Posted December 22, 2007 at 8:37 pm | Permalink

    itsnay eryvay uchmay unphay. Abblescray anynay onenay?

  23. egpenet
    Posted December 22, 2007 at 9:20 pm | Permalink

    [ we’ve created a monster! ]

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