a quick question for director james cameron

Why do you hate Christ?

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  1. Tony Buttons Esq.
    Posted August 9, 2006 at 10:57 am | Permalink

    Just don’t tell me that he has plans to debunk my favorite Biblical story – the one about the Terminator that travels backward in time to destroy the baby Jesus.

  2. mark
    Posted August 9, 2006 at 9:24 pm | Permalink

    Rest easy, Tony. It’s nothing Terminator-related. I actually has to do with recent evidence which puts Noah on the deck of the Titanic right before it hit the iceberg.

    I should probably explain the link for those too lazy to follow it… Famous film director James Cameron is producing a film which sets out to proove that the parting of the Red Sea, as described in the Bible, was actually an act of nature. It sounds interesting to me, but I’m sure that some on the anti-science fringe are getting worked up over it.

  3. egpenet
    Posted August 9, 2006 at 10:00 pm | Permalink

    Wait till Flamingo hears about his! More religitainment.

    (Moses, hansds on hips, is worried about how to cross the Red Sea. Aaron, Moses’ brother and campaign manager, coached by Murray Schultzman, an amateur weatherman, is being hidden behind Aaron.

    Murray predicted to Aaron that a tsunami will hit just in time for the crossing. “As the sea is pulled out, the Jews must rush across. The sea will then rush in with a 6 to 10 meter wave to annihilate the Pharoah’s army,” Murray promises.

    Aaron is being coached by Murray …

    “OK now, see the water going out? Tell your brother to hold up his arms to signal our people to move fast!”

    “Moses,” Aaron whispers, “Hold up your arms. It’s a signal.”

    Aaron says to Murray, “This is gonna play well in El Harretz.”

    “Wish we had a shot of this,” Aaron mutters to himself.

    All the Jews escape Egypt, except cousins Syd Birkowitz and Mel Grabinsky, who didn’t want to give up a booming textile mill in Alexandria. Miles away, as the first wave rushes back in … botta, boom! … and the rest is in story form at a bookseller near you …
    except for the fact that Murray left the group and got a job with Al Jazeera TV doing long range weather predictions and astrological analyses for itinerant wise men.

    Hmmm …

  4. Shanster
    Posted August 10, 2006 at 5:45 am | Permalink

    Isn’t the idea of the movie that Cameron is backing up the biblical stories as historically accurate/hypothically possible? His lending scientific credence to them doesn’t debunk them, just explains them. That God caused all these things to happen for Israel to become free from Egypt with such perfect timing is the miracle. Bloody water, gnats, frogs, locusts, boils, etc. all in succession providing impetus for Pharoah to get fed up and say ‘Okay, you and your people get outta here.’ Only to change his mind at the perfect time for his entire army to drown in a pre-ordained tsunami.

    If only Murray had stayed on with Moses to give him directions.

  5. It's Skinner Again
    Posted August 10, 2006 at 10:49 am | Permalink

    Alas, there’s nothing in the historical and archeological records of Egypt about any Jewish slaves, plagues, or exodus. They were big on keeping records and histories, too. I guess someone was asleep on the job.

  6. Tony Buttons Esq.
    Posted August 11, 2006 at 11:40 am | Permalink

    Wasn’t it in fact a Whizzinator that traveled back in time to kill the baby Jesus?

  7. It's Skinner Again
    Posted August 11, 2006 at 11:52 am | Permalink

    As I recall, the attempt to clone the baby Jesus from his preserved foreskin failed because it was really a scrap of dried Whizzinator.

  8. ol' e cross
    Posted August 11, 2006 at 12:31 pm | Permalink

    Am I the only one terrified of the potential for terrorists to use whizzinators to smuggle liquid explosives onto airliners?

  9. Ted Glass
    Posted August 11, 2006 at 1:41 pm | Permalink

    “This summer, see Samuel L. Jackson in – WHIZZINATORS ON A PLANE!”

    And, while scraps of dried Whizzinator may not be good for baby Jesi, they’re wonderful for soup stock.

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