mounting the “man cannon”

I need to work on my comic for the Ann Arbor Paper tonight, but I wanted to pass along this image first. It’s from a patent application filed recently by Segway inventor, Dean Kamen. He calls it, “the man cannon.” According to the article in the UK Register, Kamen envisions it as a mechanism to deliver “SWAT teams and other emergency workers onto the roofs of inaccessible tall buildings human cannonball style.” I just liked the image. Given the “Man Cannon” name, the angle of incline in the schematic, the foreskin-like outcropping at the tip, and the seemingly gratuitous testicle-like formation at the base, I’m tempted to say that it’s a joke on Kamen’s part, but you never know… As you’ll recall, Kamen was filing on lots of obscure and seemingly nonsensical inventions back before the public unveiling of the Segway scooter, when he was trying to throw people off as to what “IT” was. Maybe this is move of the same. Or, better yet, maybe this is a really clever “fuck you” to the Department of Defense, for whom this was apparently designed. How better to say “fuck you” than to trick the government into funding a giant, cop-ejaculating phalus? (via Metafilter)

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9 Comments

  1. kez
    Posted May 21, 2006 at 12:44 am | Permalink

    what are items 10 and 60???

  2. mark
    Posted May 21, 2006 at 12:47 am | Permalink

    I don’t know that they’ll allow it, but it looks as though he’s patenting the air surrounding the shaft of the man cannon, Kez.

  3. Ted Glass
    Posted May 22, 2006 at 12:06 pm | Permalink

    What the drawing doesn’t show is that it requires two people to rub and lick the ball before the man can be launched.

  4. Collin
    Posted May 22, 2006 at 1:00 pm | Permalink

    That is just awesome.

  5. Anonymatt
    Posted May 22, 2006 at 2:12 pm | Permalink

    What “foreskin-like outcropping at the tip?” I don’t see one. I can buy the round item at the base looking testicular, but I don’t see anything resembling a foreskin. If you do, please identify by number.

  6. Tony Buttons Esq.
    Posted May 22, 2006 at 2:23 pm | Permalink

    Probably 82B, but it could also be 46.

    It’s not foreskin related, but 45 shows a little hole at the tip.

  7. mark
    Posted May 22, 2006 at 10:26 pm | Permalink

    82B is what I had in mind, but it’s really only a partial foreskin… Work of a bad Moyle, I’d say.

  8. Anonymatt
    Posted May 23, 2006 at 8:44 am | Permalink

    82B looks nothing like a foreskin. On the other hand, if we are comparing the man cannon to a penis, it would seem to be fully erect, in which case a foreskin would probably be retracted.

    I believe the word you are looking for is “Mohel.” You have enough trouble spelling words in English, you should be even more careful with words from other languages.

  9. Jones
    Posted April 13, 2013 at 6:32 am | Permalink

    If anyone is interested, I’m in desperate need of someone to mount my man cannon.

    It’s grown rusty over the past several years.

    Like the tin man in the Wizard of Oz.

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