texas zombies

According to the Daily Texan, hordes of zombies amassed yesterday in Austin at an open casting call for aspiring American Idols… Meanwhile, across the state, in Crawford, our President was beset by something equally as terrifying – a twisted, scarred Iraqi war veteran by the name of Tomas Young, who had come to join Cindy Sheehan in her vigil outside the Bush compound. According to the Brad Blog, in addition to wanting to speak to Bush about our ongoing occupation of Iraq, Young would also like to ask Bush why he’s stopped funding the stem cell research which could one day restore his ability to walk… From what I hear though, Bush wasn’t anywhere near. Word is that he got the hell out of Crawford once the skies got all “dark and spooky”… Speaking of the Hurricane Katrina, there are rumors floating around the internet that the situation in parts of Mississippi and Louisiana is much worse than what we’re being led to believe. I’ve even heard that the press is being ordered out of some areas and that martial law has been declared… And in completely unrelated, but no less distressing news, it’s also being reported today that the Army whistleblower who brought to light the fraudulent billing practices of Halliburton in Iraq has been canned… Sweet dreams, zombies.

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  1. Posted August 30, 2005 at 11:33 pm | Permalink

    “This past weekend a zombie quasi-flashmob two or three *hundred* strong materialized in the center of Vancouver and staggered through an upscale mall, onto the skytrain and down Main Street before joining their resting brethren at a local cemetry…”


  2. Brian
    Posted August 31, 2005 at 2:07 am | Permalink

    This post was the stuff that nightmares are made out of but in a nice little package.

  3. Tony Buttons
    Posted August 31, 2005 at 10:29 am | Permalink

    I like the idea of injured Iraqi war vets limping after W, groaning like zombies, and ruining his 5-week vacation.

  4. Teddy Glass
    Posted August 31, 2005 at 2:02 pm | Permalink

    I love that nothing could shake Bush from his vacation – absolutely nothing – until the weather got bad in Crawford. American deaths in Iraq didn’t do it, the destruction of New Orleans didn’t do it, but then the skys got grey and he got motivated to get back to DC.

    Someone really should tell him that these long vacations make him look very – well – French.

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