Clementine and I were out yesterday, walking through Frog Island Park, when I noticed a small, rectangular box about two feet off the trail, in a bare spot overlooking the Huron River. Being somewhat obsessive by nature, I couldn’t just walk by it without first seeing what it was, so I swung the stroller over to the side and poked at the box with the tip of my shoe. What I’d found, I quickly realized, wasn’t your run of the mill public park garbage. No, I’d found something special – the packaging for “Sure Grip” vagina-tightening cream. Fortunately, Clementine’s young enough that I didn’t have to explain what it was, why someone would buy it, or, worse yet, why her father wanted to bring it home.
I kicked the box into a plastic bag (which I carry for just such occasions), tucked it into the bottom of the stroller, and began walking toward home, praying all the while that we wouldn’t run into anyone that we knew, and that, in the process of chatting, the bag would pop out to reveal its contents.
It wasn’t until I got home that I had an opportunity to look over the packaging closely… I’d seen the slogan across the top, guaranteeing “that honeymoon fit,” when I got it into the bag, but I hadn’t seen the, “Tightens your vagina like it was your First Time,” line. Or, the fact that it had a $14.95 price tag.
I’ve been wrestling with the “who” and “why” of it ever since. “Could it have been,” I wonder, “one of the older ladies walking the track for exercise… maybe a recent, self-conscious divorc
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But it is “value size” Surely you want your parents to know how thrifty you are?
the active ingredient here is alum, which is an astringent. try putting some in your mouth and you will see what i mean. the dmd hydantoin is a hydrating agent usually used on hair and could possibly cause tissue swelling. all in all, it doesn’t sound like something i’d use on myself, for a variety of reasons. the rest of ingredients are inert except for methylparaben which is a preservative.(mold retardant)
Thanks for the help, Dorothy. I
peace of mind is a mold-free vagina.
“…try putting some in your mouth and you will see what i mean.”
Go for it, mark. I dare you.
Yeah, I’m sure you “found” that in the “park”.
Let’s all try it. I’ll buy a crate and we’ll meet in Frog Island Park this Friday night.
i did a quick search on ebay for this “women’s medicine”…. seems it’s quite common.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=72803&item=5567763147&rd=1&ssPageName=WD1V
Heh. “Value Size” for those extra large vaginas.
There’s nothing sadder than a moldy vagina, except maybe a frothing, mossy penis.
Dorothy,
Are you a pharmacist? I knew the alum was the “active” ingredient. BUT you knew everything else!
I am so impressed.
Yes, Dorothy has admitted as much in the past… Retired pharmacist to be exact.
OK, this is wild because my best friend’s mom, who ALL other mother’s pale by comparison, is also a pharmacist named Dorothy, and retired one at that. How many pharmacists named Dorothy can their be? Is that you, Natanya’s mom? If it is, I promise I will send pictures of the kids.
Back in the olden days, we’d just poke dessicants up in there.
http://www.nitro-pak.com/product_info.php/products_id/664
My mom once bought “face lift in a box” which was supposed to tighten the skin– wonder if this is similar.
Here it is – Face Lift in a Box… I’ll write the folks a note and ask if they’re also behind Tighten-Her Cream… Hopefully, you’ll have your answer soon, Kevin.
My boyfriend brought some of this home and I am 8 months pregnate. What syptoms does this cause during pregancy if anyone knows, because if I can’t use it during I don’t think I want to use it wil I am not?????
Girl, the LAST thing you want at eight months is a TIGHT birth canal! Keep working on your breathing exercises and tell that daddy to BACK OFF!
Sounds like you’ve got one hell of a man there.
Generous. Thoughtful.
Happy holidays.
I haven’t used that particular product but i have used one similar and trust me.. IT WORKS. I am here searching for the one i used to buy.. but i cant remmber the name. it was in a jar and it had all natural ingredients and an expiration date.. same instructions.. and it was not edible.
All i know is that it works and i want more! lol.. I’m ALREADY TIGHT. BUT I WANT TO BE TIGHTER.. Although .. my man already cant hold his stamina with me because of my tightness.. but i just love it.. so if anyone has any idea about one that is in a jar.. that usually sells through adult toy parties .. let me know!
THANKS!
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I don’t know if it works for vejajays, but when I think of Mary Todd Lincoln my until shrivels up like a raisin. I hope that helps, Deidra.
Does anyone know if this is the same, chemically speaking, as Amway’s “That’s Better” cream?
Ain’t nothing new under the sun.
Scroll down to the 5th paragraph.
http://www.time.com/time/2001/aidsinafrica/cover4.html
I love threads that can keep going for five years… I’m just sorry that the photo was lost in the big attack by the Iranian hacker.
Do you know where I can buy a tube of this in the greater Akron area? I want to get it for my grandmother this Christmas. She has a new boyfriend.
You can use Polygrip denture adhesive. It works just as well. Don’t ask me how I know.
Have you tried the coffee grinds trick? It is quite simple to do and could be really efficient at getting things tightened up without a great deal of effort. All that you simply need is a bowl, some coffee grinds, and your favorite moisturizing lotion or cellulite cream. Once you have these items, you can began.
It’s the fountain of youth that Ponce DeLeon was looking for. Truly.
Don’t waste your money on this. Use a homemade paste made from lotion and coffee grounds. It works just as well. Any cheap lotion will work, and Starbucks will give you coffee grounds for free!
Over the years i suffered from loose vagina. my name is Lauren Lordes from united states (Alabama). i have been married for 6 years with two kids.lately, my husband have been feeling unconcern towards i and my children, every little thing i do now irritate him due to my vaginal loose in child birth.my vaginal no longer tighten when turned on, my condition now make it difficult for me to experience heightened sexual sensations and to have orgasm owing the reduction of friction between my vagina and my husband penis.I have been to several hospitals and have been prescribed several pills also attempt a surgical procedure, but my condition still remain the same.
It later occur to my notice that medical intervention is not the answer to my problem. i was force to discuss the issue with a friend of mine called Tricia,as i was crying heavily and befall with burden of pains and sorrows, i love my husband so much and am not ready to loose him to another woman at any point in time. After Tricia listened to my touching story she told me even though medical interventions come high on most ‘how to make your vagina tighter’,they may not be the best first option. Rather than spending money on a surgical procedure, how about a go with herbs. There are numerous herbs proven effective in tightening the vagina muscles down there. She refers me to an herbalist called Dr Simmon who told me to start sleeping with clove-studded orange in my vagina. Now, everything is perfect in my life.
Thank you, EOS, for finally feeling comfortable enough to share you real name.
That was the greatest MM thread ever. Chock full of useful tips too. Many thanks for drawing us back here.
PS I told you EOS was a woman.
Sadly, much of this post was lost as a result of the Iranian hack we suffered about a dozen years ago. Among other things, there used to be a photo.