Linette and I were having breakfast this morning, and, as we sat there at the kitchen table, eating our oatmeal, she mentioned something to me about how she only planned on drinking half a beer” tonight, at the Beer with Bloggers event. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her looking at me, wondering if I’d heard her. Thinking that I hadnt, she raised her voice a bit and said it again. Of course she didn’t mean it. It was said for my benefit and I knew it. She thought, Im guessing, that I might not see through it, like the storm trooper in Star Wars that just repeats, let them pass to Luke and Obi-Wan Kenobi, waving them through the checkpoint. She wanted me to say, “You know what, I don’t want to make a fool of myself either. I guess Ill just have half a beer too. Im not mad. I know shes just looking out for me. Shes concerned that in a situation where I dont know anyone and where booze is readily available, that I might resort to drinking out of awkwardness, and, as a result, that I might get wedding drunk.
For the record, I haven’t been “wedding drunk” in years. The last time I tried, I fell asleep. And, I don’t anticipate that the fact that I now only sleep about five hours a night will make that any less likely. I’m not a loud drunk. I’m not a belligerent drunk. I’m a tired drunk. If I do happen to drink too much tonight, the only danger of embarrassment lies in the fact that Im capable, on rare occasion, of making an off-color joke or two before finding a dark corner and curling up. I’m trying to remember instances of this happening in the past, but I can’t… Im sure someone in the comments section will come along to refresh my memory though.
OK, I need to go now. Its time to pick up Steve Cherry and head over to Frenchies.
See you there.
note: My first half-beer tonight will be in memory of Johnny Ramone, a great man who went well before his time. (If there is a God in heaven, one day they’ll get that elusive top-40 hit they were always aiming for.) Life, just in case you forgot, isn’t fair.
Oh, one last thing This morning, upon hearing that Johnny had passed away, Linette asked me, Is their mother still alive? A bit confused, I asked, Whose mother, Johnnys? Yeah,” she said, “all the Ramones, is their mother still alive? I feel sad for her. Later in the day she told me that she, of course, knew that they werent brothers, but that she was only half-awake at the time. Im not sure what to make of it. Part of me thinks that this might be grounds for divorce.
